“Being my first review of 2015, I think it’s fitting that I wish all the AMGers out there a Happy New Year. May it be filled with joy! Conversely, I have two words for 2014: fuck you.” Before we embrace the shiny new year, Dr. A.M. Grier has to air some grievances. He also reviews some interesting black metal.
“What better way to start 2015 than with a smack in the face by 120 lbs. of steaming, internally conflicted cheddar? That’s right, Battle Beast is back after their disappointing eponymous album, and they sound even more confused than when they made the dubious leap from the raucous, over the top Euro-power of their wondrous Steel debut to hair metal influenced pop-power.” Head of a lion, wings of a bat, feet of limburger.
“Yer Metal Is Olde was started to honor records that we’re 10, 20, or 30 years old. Kronos noticed, however, that we’ve never reviewed Fleshgod Apocalypse’s magnum opus and, not only that, but that Oracles has turned five in 2014! So in honor of one of the best brutal/technical death metal records ever made, here’s a Yer Metal Is (Not Particularly) Olde for this brilliant work of art.”
“A quick note to begin: Vircolac’s Codex Perfida has been released on cassette tape. No joke. Straight-faced. And for the moment, it’s the only available physical format.” That’s what you get when you sign to Kim Jong-Doom Records.
“How often do you think of an instrumental band that substitutes that wishful vocalist with the swooning leads of a viola? My guess is never. You never think of that. Well, the masterminds behind Sans Soleil thought about it for you.” My mom always says “if you have a viola, you have everything.”
“Previously on AMG, heavy metal pirates Alestorm received the glowing accolade of “unceremoniously piss[ing] in the pool” of pirate metal in a Running Wild review. Today on AMG, these Scottish privateers set sail into calmer critical seas, and I’m going to spend 500 or so words telling you, our dear readers, why Alestorm’s latest record, Sunset on the Golden Age, is worth your time and attention.” Mutiny is afoot at AMG, and the one thing we don’t tolerate is insubordination. Oh, and Alestorm worship.
“Yep, this is one of those albums. There’s not a sphere to be had on that cover, much less a corpse, but it remains one of the more striking and subtly unnerving pieces of album art around. It’s not like other covers, and Dimesland is not like other bands. Psychogenic Atrophy is the Oakland, California quartet’s first LP, hoping to ride on the coattails of bizarre death metal bands like Gorguts and Pyrrhon that we all love so dearly. Yet Psychogenic Atrophy provides us with a plastic disc filled with a music that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike technical death metal.” No sphere to be had, but this is far from bad.
“I admire bands with the guts to take creative risks and incorporate different styles and influences into their sound. However, meshing different genres is often fraught with danger. Bold experimentation and genre splicing often results in bands going off the deep end, with the finished output dissolving into a stewy mess of incoherence and forced songwriting.” Ready for some slug themed extremity? Look at that escargot!
“When it comes to orthodox Swedish-style black metal (which I’ll call “orthodox black metal” for the rest of the review), explaining the general aesthetic is essentially pointless. I can call an album cold, frostbitten, grim, and evil until I turn blue in the face from hypothermia, but that won’t answer the one question readers have when they come to reviews: is this worth listening to?” Orthodox black metal for Christmas? I see what they did there.
“There is one problem I have with punk/crust/D-beat. It encourages me to fuck shit up. When done right, the music tempts me into driving 100 mph to work, marching into my boss’s office and beating the living shit out of him. While I obviously have some serious psychological issues here (particularly being that I am indeed my own boss), music like this sets my skin on fire and the only cure for this uncomfortable burning sensation is revolution, overthrow and apocalyptic destruction.” Apparently we found crust punk for the angry solo practitioner. Work your own hours and burn shit down.
