“Wondering why the band is called Swallowed? So was I; at least, until I put Lunarterial on for a spin. It was easy enough to work out after their musical palette aggressively assaulted my eardrums; their music swallows you whole and holds nothing back.” Prepare to be consumed by some nasty doom death.
“A talented singer can become, in the hands of a skilled songsmith, a powerful tool for artistic expression. In such a craftsman’s nimble fingers, powerful vocals can be woven and molded to create a truly sublime listening experience. Likewise, in the hands of a rank amateur, those same vocal gifts can become nothing but a hammer, and every song the nail.” When you learn who is responsible for crafting songs for these metal legends, you may fear a hammering in your immediate future.
“Is there a better way to start a review of a metal album that with a brief discussion of semantics? Yes, there is, but I’m going to do just that anyway, written hooks be damned. Can anyone accurately define what “progressive” metal, or even “progressive” music, is? Is it letting everyone within earshot know that you listened to and enjoyed the entire discographies of King Crimson, Camel, and The Mahavishnu Orchestra?” Semantics? This here website is getting too damn educated these days!
“I want one thing to be perfectly clear in your mind before you begin reading the body of this review: I hate Rings of Saturn. The band is the antithesis of everything I like about heavy music: they’re popular, smug, and have a fanbase largely made up of teenagers with gauged earlobes and fitted caps. Their guitar tone is incredibly clean, their drums make St. Anger look like The Destroyers of All, they have no bassist, and they throw around breakdowns as often as they throw around new age/horror sci-fi horseshit lyrics.” Kronos has a deeply conflicted relationship with this band. Please support him as he works through his issues.
“The way the English media tends to hype up their musicians is simultaneously cute and annoying. Whether it’s an indie rock group or, in this case, a black metal act, they never fail to hail almost every other band as “the next big thing.” Manchester’s black-metal-meets-paganism-and-folk quartet Winterfylleth had the luck (or misfortune) of being one such band.” What’s wrong with some homer press love for local bands? The overhyping, that’s what!
“So this is what the end-times look like, eh? We live in an age where clean water, organic food, and simple shelter costs a premium. A world where wars are still waged in the name of money and God, forests are plowed and industrial parks are erected, and in America, where a livable wage is becoming less of a reality because we decided, “Hey, corporations are people, too!” These are depressing times, my friends, and we need something to fulfill a long-dormant spirit that has been slumbering for too damn long.” And that, my friend, is where Godflesh comes in.
“It turns out I’m a judgmental son of a bitch. I admit it, I label people before they even open their mouths and I usually find many decisions made by others to be dumb and immature. I don’t mean to be this way, but I’m very much a person that “judges a book by its cover.” However, I have to say that nothing pleases me more than discovering that the dickhead talking to me with his Corona Light and sport coat over a Superman shirt is actually cool as shit. I like to be proved wrong about someone’s character. It makes for a much better conversation. The same goes for music.” We like judgmental types around here, since we’re in the judging business and all. And this one deserved some real serious judgment.
“We haven’t reviewed much thrash this year, mostly because there hasn’t been a bumper crop to write about. That’s why the prospect of a new Exodus opus with Steve “Zetro” Souza returning to the fold had many a thrashard foaming at the mouth in anticipation. While the three recent albums with Rob Dukes were respectable enough, they lacked the pure, raw aggression the band had in its infancy when they and Slayer were the “scary, poser killing” crews.” Ready for some friendly, violent fun? Hope you’re ready for a whole lot of it!
“Before I even started listening to metal, I was fascinated with mythology from all over the world. Looking back, it doesn’t surprise me that I got so into metal, since Norwegian and Finnish mythology were always the kinds I enjoyed most. And when it came to exploring Viking, folk, and black metal, the pagan themes were practically calling my name. (So were the Lord of the Rings aspects, but that’s another story).” Can this Viking act live up to the myths they so shamelessly steal from? Not with that cover!
“The pub gremlins known as Orange Goblin are back and once again, they’ve been fed after midnight and doused with way too much cheap beer and rotgut whiskey. For the uninitiated, that means more rowdy outlaw biker rock filled with southern blues, doom and stoner influences that all get sent crashing into the rocks of macho bravado and testosterone. Following up 2012s enjoyably soused A Eulogy for the Damned, Back From the Abyss keeps the sketchy pool hall chic intact and adds more dumbbells, prison tattoos and Lemmy-isms for a potent potable of in-your-face, no bullshit biker metal.” Grab the moonshine and the brass knuckles, the Goblins are back in the bar!
