“They say the best things in life are free. They also say honesty is free, but it’s not. In fact, it usually comes attached to a very high price. That moment you have a few too many and tell your partner what you really think of their mum. Explaining to your brother that you sold his son’s spleen on the black market just so you could buy more vinyl. Or the crushing fact that not all death metal is created equal. The genre’s favorite whipping boys Six Feet Under are living proof of this.” Six Feet Underwhelming.
Rings of Saturn
Krosis – A Memoir of Free Will Review
‘Krosis is a progressive deathcore band from North Carolina, A Memoir of Free Will being their second full-length. I’m not sure what progressive really entails, as the label has been used to describe anything from the djenty chuggaboundabounboundaluggs of Structures or Volumes, to the transcendental offerings of Slice the Cake or Kardashev.” Jawbreakers.
Shadow of Intent – Reclaimer [Things You Might Have Missed 2017]
“Shadow of Intent have a lot in common with your typical power metal band. Florid guitar lines, cheesy orchestration, slick production, and ridiculous space fantasy lyrics (pulled straight from the Halo video games) are elements you’d expect for a band of central European hair-conditioner-connoisseurs.” Brvtal power!
Rings of Saturn – Lugal Ki En Review
“I want one thing to be perfectly clear in your mind before you begin reading the body of this review: I hate Rings of Saturn. The band is the antithesis of everything I like about heavy music: they’re popular, smug, and have a fanbase largely made up of teenagers with gauged earlobes and fitted caps. Their guitar tone is incredibly clean, their drums make St. Anger look like The Destroyers of All, they have no bassist, and they throw around breakdowns as often as they throw around new age/horror sci-fi horseshit lyrics.” Kronos has a deeply conflicted relationship with this band. Please support him as he works through his issues.
Kronos Comments: On Sampling Bias and the Seedy Underbelly of the Australian Metal Scene
“Just about every day, Angry Metal Guy pushes out a review of an upcoming or recently released album, producing press for the album whether we love it or hate it. It exposes readers to a lot of material, but disadvantages artists who aren’t putting out music at any given time. Given a small temporal window, this creates a very biased sample of the music scene. I love reviewing albums, but a lot of great and criminally overlooked bands are in between releases right now, and it kills me to see their hard work go unseen. So in order to rectify their invisibility, they’re being talked about here, where my shitty opinions have the outsized soapbox needed to fling themselves out onto the populace like fetid water from a fire sprinkler.”
Inanimate Existence – A Never-Ending Cycle of Atonement Review
“Hey gang, it’s time to play a game. A fun game – but also a dangerous one, so make sure you’re qualified for it. In order to play you’ll need a few things: a bucket, a glass, a strong liver, and a large amount of (ideally) a slightly less strong drink. That’s right, we’re about to engage in every tech-death nerd’s plastering procedure: the Unique Leader Records drinking game! Here are the rules; I’m going to review an upcoming album from Unique Leader, and every time a Unique Leader trope appears, you take a shot.” Everybody grab a Zima and brace yourselves!
Slave Zero – Disambiguated Visionary Review
“Slave Zero is a band I’d never heard of before this review, and I’d wager you haven’t either, despite their thirteen years of brutality. These devious Dubliners are poised to release their second EP Disambiguated Visionary, and it’s about time we all took note, because they’re bringing a new force into deathgrind: Aliens. The dastardly extraterrestrials have spread into slam via Wormed, colonized technical death metal through Rings of Saturn and are now, thanks to Disambiguated Visionary, invading deathgrind. I, for one, welcome our new grayish overlords.” Join Kronos as he leads the pro-alien overlord cheer squad and examines some extraterrestrial themed death grind. Turn on your heart lights!!