“Remember Guitar Hero? Yes, I’m aware it’s 2015, but reach back into the memory vaults for just a second. Somewhere on the screen there’s a crowd pleasure meter that dynamically reacted to how well your performance is going. If you were good, it would stay in green. If you were really bad, it would stay in red, teetering on the edge of total audience disengagement. Being mediocre kept you squarely in yellow.” Are you ready to take on Guitar Hero’s doom edition? Cave of Swimmers think they are.
“Unlike many of my friends and colleagues, I’ve rarely been moved by Steven Wilson’s music. With notable exceptions, Porcupine Tree’s studio work put me to sleep. Nor, I must admit, was I a fan of Insurgentes or Grace for Drowning at release. Despite having long been harangued for being an Opeth fanboy, I could not get into Storm Corrosion. In fact, if you’d asked me 5 years ago, I would have said that Steven Wilson’s genius is the ways in which he makes other bands sound incredible. That changed for me, however, with The Raven Who Refused to Sing from 2012. So when I heard that Wilson had a new record coming, I was intrigued: would it keep up the momentum and style of The Raven?” Well, can it?
“Cast your minds back to a time when metal music was not cool. Nay, indeed, a time when metal was anathema to all that was considered to be “chic” and “in.” A time when your favorite bands were actually encouraged by the music industry to play slower, cut their hair, and write sensitive lyrics about their childhoods. Yes, this unfortunately really happened. Our new semi-irregular feature “90s Metal Weirdness” focuses on albums released between 1992 and 2001 and which we all probably would rather forget. But in the service of publicly shaming the musicians involved, we have pushed forward.” And how dare we accuse the Crown Prince of NWoBHM of weirdness? Oh, we dare, but it’s all very British and polite like.
“Angra needs no introduction. The band has been a power metal fixture since the early 1990s and are one of the biggest metal bands to ever breach the borders of their native Brazil. Still, the last decade(ish) has been rocky for these guys, and you might not be blamed for having thought they called it quits. Not only did half the band quit in the early-aughts to go and start Shaman, but they’ve had dust-ups with management and were put on hold—even having been mistakenly reported as split-up entirely. Hell, between 2010’s Aqua and the release of Secret Garden they lost both a singer—who was replaced by Rhapsody [of Fire]’s Fabio Lione—and got a new 23 year-old drummer to boot. Consistency has been hard to come by for Angra of late.” Mr. The Metal Guy takes on Angra’s newest record. Does he bite the cheese?
“Soen’s Cognitive, which was released in 2012, was the band’s debut and it bore a striking resemblance to the work of Tool and, to be fair, A Perfect Circle. Despite this undeniable likeness, the record was chock full of fat grooves, great writing, beautiful vocal performances from vocalist Eklöf and amazing performances from all the musicians—but especially metal’s best bassist (Steve Digiorgio if there’s any doubt) and one of metal’s best drummers (Martin Lopez). I’ve often felt a bit guilty for labeling Cognitive as too derivative, because despite the sound it has been a regular on my playlist since then—and I would hate to be responsible for pigeonholing a band before they had time to develop; great debuts are few and far between.” But the operative question is: can Soen step through Tool’s shadow and come out the other side?
“Being the jaded old fuck that I am, there are very few musicians that I go into straight-up fanboy mode for these days. One of those individuals is guitarist John Cobbett. Who, you ask? Cobbett is a member of prog sextet Hammers of Misfortune, and has done time in both Slough Feg and Ludicra, which puts him at the center of San Francisco’s present-day metal scene. When Ludicra abruptly folded after touring for 2010’s brilliant prog-black-metal opus The Tenant, I was genuinely bummed out. Lucky for me, Cobbett quickly assembled a new outlet for his heavier material, dubbed Vhöl.” Are you worried you might have missed some precious metal this year? We worry too, so we’ll start bombarding you with our selections of quality albums we didn’t get to review, but would hate to see you miss. Here, Mr. Fisting brings you the new project from the ever interesting John Cobbett. You’re welcome!
“Of all of Arjen Lucassen’s projects, Ayreon is his best known and my least favorite. Having previously given both The Human Equation and 01011001 a shot, Ayreon really was a nut I couldn’t crack. Partially this is because I think the rock opera genre of power/prog metal bands à la Avantasia or Timo Tolkki’s Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Avalon tend to lack vision; but the writers also lack the kind of talent necessary that make undertakings like Jesus Christ Superstar or Little Shop of Horrors fun and interesting.” One does not simply write a 600 word review for a 90 minute concept record from Arjen Lucassen. Click to see the epic of The Theory of Everything.
Progressive-ish rock from the country that invented gyros and anal sex. What else is there to say really?
Next up on the Top Ten(ish) carousel is the ever amusing Mr. Fisting. With a palate as diverse as his, you know you can expect some interesting selections here. Did I hear an ABBA shout-out???
Steel Assassin is a mighty obscure act by anyone’s reckoning. They were knocking around all throughout the 80s and 90s but could never get a proper album released. Then, quite out of the blue, they released War of the Eight Saints in 2007 and totally blew me away with their ballsy, aggressive take on American power metal and NWOBHM. It was one of the best albums of that year, but didn’t bring them as much attention as it deserved.
