Samael

Carach Angren – Franckensteina Strataemontanus Review

Carach Angren – Franckensteina Strataemontanus Review

“But Franckensteina Strataemontanus is not a true retelling of Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley. If any of you know the myths and legends surrounding the creation of this story, you know that there’re a lot of tales that involve Johann Konrad Dippel. There’s no proof that Shelley was ever inspired by this strange individual, but the connection is hard to ignore. An individual who reportedly invented nitroglycerin, experimented on dead animals and human cadavers, and created an elixir that would allow him to live until the age of 135. Here, Carach Angren provides us with a slight reinvention of the classic Frankenstein story. One that uses artistic license to make Dippel the psychotic creator of an unloved monster.” Frank n’ frowners.

Turmion Kätilöt – Global Warning Review

Turmion Kätilöt – Global Warning Review

“WOW that’s a uniquely tasteless sort of cover, isn’t it? It’s as if industrial Finns Turmion Kätilöt felt the need to be seen after getting signed by Nuclear Blast, and figured that bad publicity is good publicity. Well, the cover stands out alright, just in the worst way. Let’s hope the music is better.” Naked launch.

Vredehammer – Viperous Review

Vredehammer – Viperous Review

“In years past, metal music took its sweet-ass time in order to drop us the good stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I do like a good, slow burn, but usually we (and by proxy, you) usually don’t hear anything jaw-droppingly good until later in the year. Not 2020, man. Barely into our third month, and we’ve already got strong contenders for Album o’ the Year, and it doesn’t seem to let up anytime soon. And now, we’ve got the much-anticipated Viperous by Vredehammer, an album everyone here at AMG’s been anticipating since Violator knocked us all on our collective ass back in 2016.” Bow down to the Snakehammer.

Paragon Impure – Sade Review

Paragon Impure – Sade Review

“Founding member and driving force Noctiz has only managed one full length release thus far, 2005’s To Gaius! (For the Delivery of Agrippina), with technical and personal setbacks apparently stalling efforts around 2009 to release a follow-up album which was to be titled Fall of Man. That unreleased material has been reworked and incorporated into this—their second full length in thirteen years—Sade. No, not that Sade, the English singer of “Smooth Operator” fame; Sade as in the Marquis de Sade, that cheeky French noble whose sexuality and writings thereof have been an inspiring, deep, rich vein of perversity for metal artists to plunder ad infinitum.” Sade songs say so much.

Manes – Slow Motion Death Sequence Review

Manes – Slow Motion Death Sequence Review

“The first time I heard the Norwegian oddity known as Manes, I was in grad school. That fateful day, I was grading organic chemistry exams, locked away in that windowless closet of a grading room. With hours of work ahead of me, I took the time to find some new music to ease the pain. After getting caught in the rabbit’s hole of ‘similar artists’ and the ‘who-played-with-who’ links of Metal Archives, I emerged with Manes. And, I figured, this oughta do.” Music for destroying futures.

Kroda – Selbstwelt Review

Kroda – Selbstwelt Review

“According to the dictionary, to ‘underrate’ is to underestimate the extent, value, or importance of someone or something. What a way to start a review from a writer like me. A writer that, according to most readers, underrates reviews on a weekly basis. Talk about your ultimate clickbait. But, that’s not what I mean by ‘underrate.’ I’m not talking about album scores or year-end lists. I’m talking about bands. The ‘underrated’ kind. And there are lots of them.” Underrated and unsung.

Schwarzer Engel – Kult der Krähe Review

Schwarzer Engel – Kult der Krähe Review

“Ever get that queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach when you commit to something that’s absolutely foreign to your comfort zone? You know what I mean… you say “yes” to something before you get a good, hard look at what you’re about to do, and all of a sudden, Internal You is “nope!”-ing at record speed? Folks, that was me upon accepting Kult der Krähe, the sixth album by German one-man symphonic machine Schwarzer Engel, upon looking at the cover without hearing a single note prior.” Kult ov One.

Dr. A.N. Grier’s Top Ten(ish) of 2017

Dr. A.N. Grier’s Top Ten(ish) of 2017

“Remember that scene in Ghostbusters (the real Ghostbusters…) where Winston tells Ray, ‘If someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!’ Well, if someone asks you if you want to write a guide for teaching organic chemistry, you say hellafuckingno. I’m serious. Do yourself, and everyone around you, a favor. So, yeah, this year’s been nuts. Thankfully, there’s Angry Metal Guy—a solace for all metalheads to come together and be verbally abused and cat-tailed in the company basement.” Cat’s got yer list.

Deathcult – Cult of the Goat Review

Deathcult – Cult of the Goat Review

“I’m not quite sure how it happens but I always seem to find myself buried in black metal at the end of the year. It’s not like 2015, where Kampfar’s Profan squeezed its way into my top ten at the last second, but there are some last-minute gems from 2017. And two, in particular, involve the infamous Hoest. Last month, there was Taake’s Kong Vinter. This month, there’s the return of Norway’s sibling-driven Deathcult.” Goatloads of fun.