“But I don’t wanna Awaken the Misogynist. I like him right where he is: snoring on the couch, rolling over to rip off the odd fart now and then. It doesn’t seem like I have much choice at this point, though. I first started sniffing around this slam quintet’s debut album while trying to figure out what’s going on with that band name. It’s obviously a provocation of… some sort.” Taking you to Slam Town.
“I can only imagine it’s daunting to form a new symphonic metal band. Arguably one of the most popular forms of metal, the scene is supersaturated with talent, and it often feels like the “greats” have already come, made their mark, and started to move on. Trying to make a dent in the sea of symphonic sanity is a huge task, but many are those who step up to try, and they all have my respect for it. The latest of their number I’ve come across is Meteora, who formed in 2010 in Hungary.” Grand expectations.
“Let’s talk about blood, baby. Hemoglobin and me. Let’s talk about all the blood things and the bad things that may bleed. Death metal and that hideous ichor that courses through us all are as synonymous as editors and intimidation… Swedish supergroup extraordinaire Bloodbath have made a career out of celebrating the genre’s twisted tenets and once pulsed at the very center of the classic scene.” Your bath is ready.
“Way back in 2015, when the world was young and AMG was still using the cursed and damned Excel Promo Sheet ov Doom, an album called Vessel by Swedish prog/power/trad act Trial graced my earholes. It was like a joyous fusion of Crimson Glory, early Fates Warning, In Solitude and NWoBHM and I really enjoyed it. I planned to review it but time conspired against me and Vessel never got the AMG treatment it deserved. 2017s Motherless did, however, and that album was a hot mess lacking the old timey charm and mystique of its predecessor. Fast forward to 2022 and Trial return with Feed the Fire and a brand new singer, and the awkwardness of Motherless is nowhere to be found.” Trial by fire.
“A new Megadeth album hits differently than others from the beloved bands of my youth. Rather than anticipation and excitement, I generally feel a gnawing sense of dread. Let’s be honest here. As great as those early albums were (and they were truly great), the run from the late 90s through the last two decades has been a rough one. 2016s Dystopia felt like a partial return to form and one of the only real winners since Youthanasia. . Six years later, I had a sneaking suspicion we wouldn’t get another release in that same tier, but a long-suffering fan can always hope, right? So what does The Sick, the Dying…and the Dead! have to offer?” Bring out your Megadead.
“It took an unprecedented length of time for me to appreciate Warforged’s debut I: Voice back in 2019. In fact, I was so moved by the record once it finally clicked that I awarded it an enthusiastic 1.5-point upgrade. Naturally, that puts a lot of pressure on the follow-up, entitled The Grove | Sundial. Upon learning that Adrian Perez—who was in charge of lead vocals, keyboards, sampling, piano, and lyrics on I: Voice—separated from the project, I balked.” Forging a new weapon.
“I have a complicated history with doom metal. While there are groups like Electric Wizard or High on Fire that I tend to turn to for my fuzzy, morose fix, I have more trouble with the deathened doom variety. Sure, you can’t shake a stick at the likes of Asphyx (and why would you? They’re old men and so very brittle), but executed poorly, you mix doom’s plodding passages with DMs unrelenting barrage, resulting in a bloated, brickwalled concoction that leaves your eardrums ringing and your watch over-checked. Be that as it may, I’ve been proven wrong before (except for our split review of Temple of Void’s latest) and there’s always something new to discover.” Good grief?
The tension between their Blind Guardian’s thrash heritage and their orchestral pretenses have been at the center of their career development (and missteps). If 2019’s Twilight Orchestra was an album that fell short because they overreached their bounds, one potential risk has always been that The God Machine would be an over-correction. But would Blind Guardian really stagnate?
“2022 seems to be a year for bands I was a fan of in their heyday to reunite. A couple months ago we saw the release of the not-amazing-but-not-embarrassing new album from Porcupine Tree, Closure/Continuation. Back in January Jethro Tull released their first album in 19 years. Now this week we see a new album from the venerable melodic prog rockers King’s X. Three Sides of One is the band’s 13th album, and first since 2008’s XV. The trio have a combined age of 195, which is almost the same as Steel and I. That’s old, but age doesn’t bestow nor hinder success; songwriting does. Can Dug Pinnick, Ty Tabor, and Jerry Gaskill still write some great material?” These three Kings.
“One of the cruelest fates to befall any given record that comes across my desk at Angry Metal Guy Judgment Emporium is to be totally forgotten. It happens, more often than I’d like. Gone Cosmic’s last record, Sideways in Time, succumbed to such a fate. It was a good record, with tons of groove and fronted by a passionate, powerful vocalist. But it was only because I caught the Canadian quartet’s upcoming sophomore full-length, Send for a Warning, the Future’s Calling, in the promo bin three years later that I remembered that Gone Cosmic existed.” Sleeping on the cosmos.
