Skelator

Contrite Metal Guy – Mistakes Were Made

Contrite Metal Guy – Mistakes Were Made

“The life of the unpaid, overworked metal reviewer is not an easy one. Cascading promos, unreasonable deadlines, draconian editors and the unwashed metal mobs – it makes for a swirling maelstrom of music and madness. In all that tumult, errors are bound to happen and sometimes our initial impression of an album may not be completely accurate. With time and distance comes wisdom, and so we’ve decided to pull back the confessional curtain and reveal our biggest blunders, missteps, oversights and ratings face-plants. Consider this our sincere AMGea culpa. Redemption is retroactive, forgiveness is mandatory.” Whoopsie.

Thunderslave – Unchain the Night Review

Thunderslave – Unchain the Night Review

“I really should know better by now. I thought that I’d learned early in my career as an unpaid music journalist, back when I was known simply as Nameless_n00b_11, that Steel Druhm and his gifts are not to be trusted. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a fair master, to be sure, but he also has a tendency to entertain himself by being overwhelmingly cruel. During one of our recent socially distant AMG staff Zoom chats, he told me that he had a promo picked out just for me, one that “sounds like Skelator if they actually tried.”” Steel gifts are for closers.

Sölicitör – Spectral Devastation Review

Sölicitör – Spectral Devastation Review

“2019 was a dream for me when it came to reviews: nearly 20% of the albums I covered were released by bands within 150 miles of my house, and of those several can be found in my own Puget Sound area of Western Washington. Quayde LaHüe and Mortiferum impressed me, and the now infamous “Skelator Incident” induced heretofore unseen levels of arousal and nearly resulted in my actual firing from this site. Naturally, I couldn’t resist the temptation to grab the debut of Seattle’s Sölicitör.” Criminal sölicitatiön.

Iron Kingdom – On the Hunt Review

Iron Kingdom – On the Hunt Review

“Much like the subject depicted in this album’s artwork, once I took a swing at the advance track for On the Hunt and saw the resultant blood, I had to follow the trail to see where it ended. So, donning my Arctic Wolf Fur Armor (+50% Cold Resistance), I tracked my prey through forest and field until finally coming upon an open gate. I steeled my resolve and ventured forth into the land beyond. I had entered the Iron Kingdom.” Come for the iron, stay for the metal.

Skelator – Cyber Metal Review

Skelator – Cyber Metal Review

“I stand before you today to confess two great sins. First, I was not allowed to watch He-man growing up, so you will not be treated to the appropriate level of jokes that this band name demands. Alas, I’m neither the writer that you want nor the one that you deserve. Secondly, despite living in the Seattle area for my entire life, I had never heard of local band Skelator until stumbling upon them in the promo bin the other day. I was far too busy with real life circumstances to take on a review for this week, but the combination of the band’s location and my physiological response to hearing the advance track required me to reprioritize my life.” Cause you had to be a He-Man, dincha?