Skelator

Miasma Theory – Miasma Theory Review

Miasma Theory – Miasma Theory Review

“Hey, remember Zach Randall? Not only did this super cool dude found badass off-kilter epic doom outfit Northern Crown, he even participated in the very important and worthwhile interview series on mental health right on this here blog. Zachary is practically a member of the family at this point, so I couldn’t let his little side project Miasma Theory go unnoticed. It’s a relatable project too, because just like all of us, most of the band members have not been in a room together, instead using the power of the internet to tune in from around the globe.” Doom from a distance.

Pounder – Breaking the World Review

Pounder – Breaking the World Review

Pounder‘s 2019 debut Uncivilized was covered here by Lokasenna, and since he seems to have quietly and non-suspiciously disappeared, Steel Druhm has seen fit to assign follow-up Breaking the World to yours truly. I have no illusions about why Steel has done this. It’s obvious that he believes I will end up crucifying myself before the commentariat, either by being unable to resist making unsavory jokes about the band’s name, or by going into full Skelator mode by lavishing praise upon yet another heavy metal album with questionable vocals.” Pounding the world.

Death Dealer – Conquered Lands Review

Death Dealer – Conquered Lands Review

“Formed in 2012 by Ross the Boss (ex-Manowar, Ross the Boss), Sean Peck (Cage), and Stu Marshall (Empires of Eden, ex-Dungeon), America’s Death Dealer is a bonafide heavy/power metal supergroup. Over the years, they’ve released two albums and picked up former Into Eternity drummer Steve Bolognese and Symphony X bassist Mike LePond, making the lineup for 2020’s Conquered Lands simply mouthwatering.” Iron sharpens steel.

Contrite Metal Guy – Mistakes Were Made

Contrite Metal Guy – Mistakes Were Made

“The life of the unpaid, overworked metal reviewer is not an easy one. Cascading promos, unreasonable deadlines, draconian editors and the unwashed metal mobs – it makes for a swirling maelstrom of music and madness. In all that tumult, errors are bound to happen and sometimes our initial impression of an album may not be completely accurate. With time and distance comes wisdom, and so we’ve decided to pull back the confessional curtain and reveal our biggest blunders, missteps, oversights and ratings face-plants. Consider this our sincere AMGea culpa. Redemption is retroactive, forgiveness is mandatory.” Whoopsie.

Thunderslave – Unchain the Night Review

Thunderslave – Unchain the Night Review

“I really should know better by now. I thought that I’d learned early in my career as an unpaid music journalist, back when I was known simply as Nameless_n00b_11, that Steel Druhm and his gifts are not to be trusted. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a fair master, to be sure, but he also has a tendency to entertain himself by being overwhelmingly cruel. During one of our recent socially distant AMG staff Zoom chats, he told me that he had a promo picked out just for me, one that “sounds like Skelator if they actually tried.”” Steel gifts are for closers.

Sölicitör – Spectral Devastation Review

Sölicitör – Spectral Devastation Review

“2019 was a dream for me when it came to reviews: nearly 20% of the albums I covered were released by bands within 150 miles of my house, and of those several can be found in my own Puget Sound area of Western Washington. Quayde LaHüe and Mortiferum impressed me, and the now infamous “Skelator Incident” induced heretofore unseen levels of arousal and nearly resulted in my actual firing from this site. Naturally, I couldn’t resist the temptation to grab the debut of Seattle’s Sölicitör.” Criminal sölicitatiön.