“Yes, dear readers, the time has come once again for the favorite annual article of our deaf readership. Yours truly, the Furious Art Maestro, has once again taken it upon himself to make a selection of covers that pleased him personally.” Art for the metal masses.
“Much like the subject depicted in this album’s artwork, once I took a swing at the advance track for On the Hunt and saw the resultant blood, I had to follow the trail to see where it ended. So, donning my Arctic Wolf Fur Armor (+50% Cold Resistance), I tracked my prey through forest and field until finally coming upon an open gate. I steeled my resolve and ventured forth into the land beyond. I had entered the Iron Kingdom.” Come for the iron, stay for the metal.
“I stand before you today to confess two great sins. First, I was not allowed to watch He-man growing up, so you will not be treated to the appropriate level of jokes that this band name demands. Alas, I’m neither the writer that you want nor the one that you deserve. Secondly, despite living in the Seattle area for my entire life, I had never heard of local band Skelator until stumbling upon them in the promo bin the other day. I was far too busy with real life circumstances to take on a review for this week, but the combination of the band’s location and my physiological response to hearing the advance track required me to reprioritize my life.” Cause you had to be a He-Man, dincha?
