“Heavy metal. Trad metal. Dad metal. It all boils down to the same thing, really: galloping guitars, soaring vocals, a dose of cheese (don’t forget to take your Lactaid, old timer!) and enough triumphant riffs to get those creaky, arthritic bones a’janglin’. So it was with nagging nostalgia that I picked up Meat We’re Made Of, the first full-length from France’s Animalize, a group who traffic in a form of classic heavy metal firmly entrenched in the 70s and 80s.” Meat is the message.
“As a dedicated teenage metalhead in the 80s, I lustily sought every new act I could get my greasy ape paws on. Few bands escaped my iron sights and I was willing to try pretty much anything out there to see what struck a nerve. Somehow, someway, Greek speed/thrash act Flames evaded my metal detector then and in all the years thereafter up until this last month. Formed in 1984, Flames spewed out a series of platters that transitioned over time from classic speed metal to technical thrash with slight death elements, culminating in 1996s In Agony Rise. This means they’ve been in some kind of deep cryonic state for 25 years, but they’re out now and seem very pissed off, so we get their seventh album Resurgence.” Greek fire burns forever.
“O’ Canada, guess who’s back? Good ol’ Anvil, with their ninety-eighth full-length album. And look at this: another writer penning an Anvil review. Once you’ve reviewed Anvil, you can’t get yourself to do it again. It’s only been two years since their last release (which is about the same as all their albums), and there’s no sign of stopping this Canadian threesome—even if you want them to stop. But, no, they keep coming with a sound they helped to cement 40 years ago. But, while you all might think their sound is irrelevant, Anvil sure as hell doesn’t care.” Danger: Falling Anvil.
“I miss the 1980s. There’s a special place in my heart for bands that foreshadowed the development of extreme metal while keeping one foot firmly planted in their thrash or NWoBHM roots, like Sodom, Venom, and Slayer. German first-wave black metal enthusiasts Blood Torrent agree. We get lots of promos that cite early-90s second-wave bands as influences, but it’s rarer that albums purport to revive their mid-80s ancestors.” Blood and olde treasure.
“What’s there left to say about Kvaen beyond five little words, four of which are “fire?” Back in early 2020, Jakob Björnfot came out of seeming nowhere with a fully formed meloblack/speed metal aesthetic and a keen songwriting ear to deliver one of the the most vital sounding throwback records of the year. The Funeral Pyre had something going for it that a lot of good, even great records don’t. Beyond technical musicianship—which Björnfot most certainly has—beyond reverence for a genre’s history, that record was fun. As. Hell. It didn’t matter that no new ground was being broken, it only mattered that Björnfot was driving it like it was stolen.” Hell Alone 2: Electric Burning You.
“Continuing the trend of covering things I don’t normally cover, I traveled at the speed of light metal to Barcelona, where I encountered an angry, ‘roided-out shark wearing nothing but bullet belts and cargo khakis that barely contained his quads. His name is Fred, but his friends and enemies just call him Red, for short. My first encounter with Red looked much like the scenery depicted to your left. Specifically, there were many explosions, gunshots, cacophonies of glass and cigarette-stained plastic shrapnel, and the sweet sound of skulls succumbing to ruthless whirlwinds of ignited ammunition.” Blood in the mortar.
“Norway’s Deathhammer probably need no introduction as they’ve achieved some notoriety by releasing a string of full-lengths, demos, EPs, and splits—with some form of release almost every single year—since their formation back in 2005. My personal experience with the band is fairly limited, but I do own 2015’s Evil Power and consider it to be a good-to-very good example of the early, chaotic thrash sound. I skipped 2018’s Chained to Hell despite its stellar artwork, but let’s see what Deathhammer sounds like in 2022.” Hammer will hurt them.
“Yes, I’m alive. Why haven’t I written much lately? Because I’ve been busy with work and hunting down Nazis. But, mostly, it’s because I hate you all. Surprised, are you? I can’t imagine why. Unlucky for you, Midnight is here to fuel my hatred.” Witch hammered.
“Following a pretty damn solid year for the thrash genre in 2021, fans of the legendary, often gateway metal genre will be buzzed for more of the same quality in 2022. A good old blast of feisty thrash is always welcome, especially as we swing into the trials, tribulations and hopefully good times of another uncertain year. Kicking off my thrash promos of 2022 is an unheralded act out of Texas, named X.I.L, dropping their self-released debut LP, Rip & Tear.” Rip ride.
“I’m kind of obsessed with hammers. Write a song about hammers, and I’ll probably like it. Include “hammer” as part of your band name, and I’ll probably like your band. In a roleplaying game, make hammers a wieldable weapon, and, by god, I’m going to wield one (or two). I don’t know how to build shit, but I own a framing hammer and sleep with it next to my bed for personal protection. I use a twenty-pound sledge for my conditioning workouts, often while Asphyx’s “Deathhammer” plays in the background on repeat. Anyway, now you know why I felt so compelled to give Cleveland’s Hammr a swing.” Hammr time.
