Steel Panther

Pulver – Kings Under the Sand Review

Pulver – Kings Under the Sand Review

“Things have been rather hectic here at the Hall as ov late. N00blings are blossoming into semi-functional writers, eagerly frittering about with their promos clasped to their chests and causing general chaos as they run amok. Adding further confusion to the fray, THE SYSTEM… IS DOWN; our website maintenance platform has been as cooperative as Julian Assange, thrusting our fabled Sentynel into a battle that has left vast digital bedlam in its wake. Amidst this sea of gleefully scurrying hordes and flames, order is nowhere to be found. In all this madness, I heard a voice cry out, choked and rasping from ash and years of hobo wine: ‘One of you overrating bastards better cover Pulver, or I’ll see to it that Madam X haunts you to the end of your Jørn-forsaken lives!'” Consequences and repercussions.

Kissin’ Dynamite – Ecstasy Review

Kissin’ Dynamite – Ecstasy Review

“Hair metal! Is there a more maligned subgenre? Given the way it warped the general public’s image of metal, and for how long, it’s hard to imagine one. But for sheer, raw fun, it can be very, very hard to beat, especially on the rare occasion one finds it executed well. But what does ‘well’ mean in this context? Is it even really possible for that word to apply to hair metal?” Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Turbo Shokk – Get Radical Review

Turbo Shokk – Get Radical Review

“December is a brutal month for us lowly reviewers. Between unreasonable demands for End of Year lists from our monstrous editors to unreasonable Christmas wish lists from our equally monstrous children, we get yanked in every direction. To make matters worse, all the good bands have finished issuing their albums and we are left sifting through the muck and the mire, desperately trying to find something that will boost our average review scores” Second prize is a set of steak knives.

Tygers of Pan Tang – Tygers of Pan Tang Review

Tygers of Pan Tang – Tygers of Pan Tang Review

“I love the 80s. And who wouldn’t? If you are an olde guy like me, the 80s were the peak of metal. The big bands were huge (Maiden, Priest) and new shit was cropping up everywhere (Metallica, Slayer). Luckily, as a teen back then I managed to hold down a job, so I was able to spend all my $6 hour wages on music at every opportunity.” Crouching Tyger, hidden Pan-Tang.

Gloryhammer – Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards Review

Gloryhammer – Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards Review

“I have been accused of being boring and touchy because I dislike parody heavy metal bands. Whenever a band like Steel Panther or The Darkness shows up, I get defensive. “Metal is alive and well,” I argue, and honestly, there are bands that are putting out great power metal and hard rock that gets ignored by mainstream press outlets that rave over parody bands and they sell lots of records. I also tend to get annoyed by comedy lyrics; for the most part those songs are funny once or twice, but after a while they just stop being funny and they become uninteresting because, well, that’s the point. Put this together, and a parody band seems like it should have a lot of strikes against it here at Angry Metal Guy. Not only are Steel Druhm and I firmly anti-fun, but I’m defensive about metal because I don’t want real, talented metal bands getting short shrift next to bands who are just making fun of the sound.” Fun will be had.

Shitfucker – Suck Cocks In Hell Review

Shitfucker – Suck Cocks In Hell Review

“On the surface, there’s a lot to hate about Shitfucker. The hacky, try hard Vice interview that introduced them to the world didn’t do them any favors. Neither did their stylized swastika logo, nor the fact that their moniker is reminiscent of the nickname I gave to my third grade bus driver. Combine these elements with the comically lo-fi crap-stomp of lead single “Sex Dungeon,” and this band was easy to hate: A group of low-talent, low-class scum-fucks looking to capitalize on a strange metallic affinity for sleaze that rarely reconciles with the listener’s world view. Red flags were everywhere. I mean, how could an album called Suck Cocks In Hell be construed as anything other than cheap gimmickry?” How indeed?? Watch as Jordan Campbell somehow makes sense of this senseless abomination.