The Melvins

Rosy Finch – Scarlet Review

Rosy Finch – Scarlet Review

“The hallway that led to my office in grad school was red. Both walls. I shit you not. To make matters worse the hellish tunnel narrowed as you approached its end—where, to no one’s surprise, you could find my office. Trust me when I tell you that five years of red walls can fuck with a person. Like grad schools, animals also use the color red to ward off people. Red can represent everything from lovers to the most gruesome of deaths. And Spain’s grrrl sludge group, Rosy Finch, is every bit as varying in its topics and delivery. With artwork that looks as though poor Carrie got it again, this is Scarlet.” Red is a slow color.

Gorilla Wizard – Tales From the Cauldron Review

Gorilla Wizard – Tales From the Cauldron Review

“Long Island, New York is a strange place. Geographically speaking it’s the penis of the Empire State, and essentially a vast, sprawling suburb for New York City that runs from the rough n’ tumble boroughs of Brooklyn and Queens through the tony Hamptons and on to the picturesque Montauk lighthouse. Though city adjacent, it has a culture and vibe all its own. Think of a tense middle ground between The Jersey Shore and Goodfellas and you’re in the right zip code. It’s a place of rowdy attitude and stubborn pride, as depicted in the various lyrics by favorite son Billy Joel, and it’s not for everyone. But hey, if you don’t like it, you can fuck off back to whatever garbage town you crawled out of. From this raucous suburban jungle comes the silverback charmers in Gorilla Wizard as they peddle their unruly take on riffy stoner/sludge metal.” Professor Ape.

Witch Mountain – Witch Mountain Review

Witch Mountain – Witch Mountain Review

“Who remembers Scion AV? Scion was a Toyota offshoot that clearly had headbanging executives in charge: for a few years they sponsored the release of tracks by metal acts ranging from Meshuggah to The Melvins. And there’s the tie-in: the first time I heard Witch Mountain was from a Scion AV download back in 2010. Those two songs became bonus tracks on a European vinyl rerelease of Cauldron of the Wild, so still relatively unknown, but they showed us what Witch Mountain were: heavy traditional doom influenced by Black Sabbath and Saint Vitus, with chillingly mesmerizing vocals courtesy of Uta Plonktin.” 99 problems, but a Witch ain’t one.

Iron Walrus – A Beast Within Review

Iron Walrus – A Beast Within Review

“Exploding through the frigid waves and frothing foam, the leviathan’s ponderous girth smashes down upon the rocky shore with a thunderous wet slap. Slowly, laboriously, the tidal titan heaves himself ashore, massive muscles undulating under the dense layers of blubber enrobed in barnacle encrusted plate metal. The Iron Walrus has come this day, and nothing on the beach can move him, nor compel his to departure.” Coo coo ca choo.

Bedowyn – Blood of the Fall Review

Bedowyn – Blood of the Fall Review

“For better and worse, sludge metal has branched out considerably beyond the abrasive and uncompromising early years of the genre, defined by the likes of The Melvins, Eyehategod, Grief, the underappreciated Iron Monkey and boundary busting legends Acid Bath,. Increased diversity and scene saturation has polluted the genre pool, leading to interesting yet inconsistent results and mixed feelings from yours truly.” Sludge is as sludge does.

Tombstoned – II Review

Tombstoned – II Review

“With a name like Tombstoned, you can probably gather that these boys love the sweet leaf and the doomy, sludgy sweet life of the ’70s. Warping back to a time once ruled by Black Sabbath and shared by Hawkwind, Tombstoned lather up in the buzzy, dynamic, heaviness of the former, while incorporating the psychedelics of the latter.” The rolling stoned gather no moss.

Angry Metal Guy’s Unsigned Band Rodeo: Witch Ripper – Witch Ripper

Angry Metal Guy’s Unsigned Band Rodeo: Witch Ripper – Witch Ripper

In our new monthly feature, which will show up here on the 15th of every month and run over the next few days, I (Angry Metal Guy) will select 5 bands at random (usually those who have followed my directions and have bandcamp accounts) to get blurbed by every member of the AMG staff. The idea is to do at least a bit of our part to point out that the metal underground is still an important part of the world of metal. While we simply don’t have the manpower to produce regular reviews of unsigned bands, this is my attempt at a minor mea culpa if nothing else. So enjoy Angry Metal Guy’s Unsigned Band Rodeo and our fifth and final entry: Witch Ripper!