The Rolling Stones

Hot Lunch – Seconds Review

Hot Lunch – Seconds Review

“Proto-metal is a bit of a strange moniker to apply to modern-day bands. The “proto” prefix literally means “first” or “common ancestor,” so linguistically it makes little sense to apply it to any band past 1975. Yet with the popularity of everything retro, plenty of bands try to recreate that pre-metal hard rock sound that laid the foundations of our favorite genre. Hot Lunch are as proto as proto gets, despite first appearing with their self-titled debut in 2013. With the sophomore slab, appropriately titled Seconds, can they function as the time machine they aim to be?” Back to the past and future.

Lucifer – Lucifer II Review

Lucifer – Lucifer II Review

“Now is the summer of my discontent. Not only because the sun incessantly threatens to ignite my beard, but having reviewed too much of one thing, the urge to consume an entirely different animal has reared its ugly head. Borne atop a moldering mound of lesser reviewers by those most metal of saints, I spied a beckoning light in the recesses of the perdition manifest we affectionately call the promo pit. Said bastion was none other than German-based doom/rock act, Lucifer, and their compactly titled second album, Lucifer II.” The Devil you should get to know.

FireForce – Annihilate the Evil Review

FireForce – Annihilate the Evil Review

“Like Sabaton, Belgium’s FireForce focuses all their energy around battles come-and-gone, the bravery of the few, and the historical instances that led to war. With two albums under their belt, this five-piece is back with another history lesson. This time on Greece’s Oxi Day, the Danevirke, the infamous Iron Brigade, and much more. So, come along, dweebs. School’s in session. Grab your Thermos and knapsack, it’s time to get learneded.” The professor is a doctor.

Saturn – Beyond Spectra Review

Saturn – Beyond Spectra Review

“I was raised on classic rock. My three favorite albums as a 7 year old were To You by Dutch blues rockers Brainbox, Aqualung by Jethro Tull and In Rock by Deep Purple. I heard the phrase “Aren’t you a little young for that?” so often in conversation, hearing it on the street didn’t even surprise me when someone caught me whistling “Stairway to Heaven” or wearing a Deep Purple shirt. That love laid the foundations for where I am in music today, and it never went away. But while a lot of bands these days harken back to the age of hippies and vinyl, not many of them manage to truly nail the sound. Swedish rockers Saturn are among the minority.” Rock in an old place.

Hail Spirit Noir – Oi Magoi Review

Hail Spirit Noir – Oi Magoi Review

“Are you sick and tired of getting your evil delivered to you in cold, icy, frost-bitten care packages from Norway? Does your black heart sink when there’s too much treble in your diet? Do you lack the strength to pick up those juicy invisible oranges you once craved? Sometimes, you just want Satan’s message to be delivered in a nice, toasty-warm basket with some fresh bread, a bottle of wine, and a couple of aromatic cigars.” And that’s where Hail Spirit Noir comes in. It’s time for a cozy brunch date with the Dark Lord.