Them

Them – Manor of the Se7en Gables [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

Them – Manor of the Se7en Gables [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

“I have fond memories of poring over classic spooky stories like Poe’s “The Cask of Amontillado” or “The Tell-Tale Heart” at my grandmother’s house and being repulsed and fascinated with the characters, settings, and actions. I got hooked and read Poe’s short stories over and over. Metal is too gore-obsessed to reliably deliver the classic spooks, save for King Diamond… but he hasn’t put anything out since 2007. Who will deliver good old-fashioned spooky stories through the medium of metal?!” BOO(urns)!

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – “Them”

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – “Them”

“Judge me for what I am but, to me, and other KD fans, “Them” ain’t derogatory bullshit. “Them” won’t transform you into a dick-less, redneck loser. No. Instead, “Them” will turn you into a helpless pansy who’ll piss her/his pants at the ring of the doorbell. “Them” will keep you up at night and make your stomach turn at that smell of a warm cup of tea. “Them” will be the reason you fall to the floor and curl up in the fetal position when your grandma comes for the weekend.” Teabag the attic.

Attic – Sanctimonious Review

Attic – Sanctimonious Review

Grier walks through swinging double–doors; their rectangular plates and white panels smudged by hundreds of dirty, desperate hands. Along the decades–old, re-waxed checkerboard floors of sun–bleached white and black, the vulnerable Doctor approaches the receptionist’s desk. ‘The doctor is waiting.’ The distinguished Grier makes his way through the buzzer–kept door to the far–end of the faux–marbled hallway. He turns the doorknob to Room 17. Beyond the stuttering fluorescent bulbs overhead, the Doctor finds “Dr.” Landau seated at a walnut–stained desk, just this side of the cherry–red built–ins—bookshelves filled with volumes as convincing as the toupee positioned upon Landau’s head. Grier walks to the glossy, chocolate–brown sofa positioned in the middle of the room. He lies back. Landau looks upon the weathered face and sleep–deprived eyes of the patient. He knows well the sickness the patient suffers.” Physician, heal thyself!

Them – Sweet Hollow Review

Them – Sweet Hollow Review

“New the band may be, but the individual members are all seasoned veterans, most notably bassist Mike LePond from Symphony X and drummer Kevin Talley from Suffocation. Markus Ulrich (Lanfear) and Markus Johansson (Sylencer) are on six-string duties and Richie Seibel (also Lanfear) handles the keyboards. Vocalist Troy Norr’s recent experience moonlighting in a King Diamond tribute band informs what Sweet Hollow is all about.” But they do make a good cup of tea….