“In the green-binary star system of Xoth, the deity Idh-yaa got all down and dirty with Cthulhu to create his slutty star-spawn. In a similar fashion, the band Xoth have got all down and dirty with all the blackened sub-genres of the metal-sphere, spawning a debut album that reaches far beyond the stars.” Star Lust, that fabulous STAR Lust….
“In an effort to avoid consistency devolving into redundancy, Vader have opted to galvanize The Empire with the ever-present thrash that propels their classic sound. The results are a lot of fun. I love Vader, so if you’re at all interested in following me awkwardly avoid blathering on about how great they are, and actually offer objectivity, then read on. Careful, don’t trip on the hyperbole.” Objectivity is for posers.
“Choosing what to do for Halloween is, in some sense, a lot like choosing how to be a metal band. You can try to deliberately frighten people, like Portal, be as provocative as possible, like Anal Cunt, flaunt your good feminine looks like the one member of Amaranthe anyone cares about, do something wacky and out-of-the-box like Troldhaugen, or you can throw on some old goblin mask and just go get drunk, loud and rowdy.” The goblins and ghosts are at the door.
“Formed in 2000, this quartet mulled about in obscurity for years, releasing only a demo and an EP before their self-titled debut in 2013. Sophomore LP Black Pyres shows these thrashers continuing to cook up Destruction riffs filtered through the blackened savagery of fellow Swedes Nifelheim.” File under: The Revenge of Black Phillip.
“2016 will go down as the year 80s thrash legends struck a blow for the AARP crowd. It’s the year Anthrax, Megadeth and Death Angel all shook off the dust and complacency, releasing shockingly good albums, and in what may be the final sign of the Apocalypse, even Metallica seems poised to drop something marginally listenable next month.” Next stop: Apocalyptic City!
“Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong decade. Every time I think back to the pop culture of the 90s, all I remember is boring daytime television and lazy post-grunge blaring on the radio. In contrast, the 80s seemed much more exciting — the jeans were tight, the horror movies were actually good, and extreme metal was first clawing its way into existence via stacks of battered demo tapes and tattered home-printed zines. Greek trio Principality of Hell apparently felt the same way.” It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times??
“In a dimly lit basement sits an easel covered by a dust-kissed veil. Beneath it reveals a portrait illustrating denim-clad, leonine-tousled men. Their faces are sunken and scored, their skin sallow and mottled. Whilst the painting’s subjects may be cruelled by time, the actual bands portrayed here are instead brimming with life, churning out quality music that belies their age.” The olde can still be bold(e).
“It was noted in the comments that there’s been a lot of negativity around here lately. That’s not false: 2016 has suffered the runs worse than a 3rd grade recorder recital that accidentally hit the brown note. Whether that’s due to an outflow of compelling material, the recent infestation of scrubs (That’s Dr. Scrvb to you), or just something in the water at AMG Inc., the readership can only take so much aspersion. I swore I wouldn’t embrace the misery. If Re-Armed could generate a lick of positivity from their hyphenated frames, I was going to find it.” In every cloud there’s a silver lemming.
“Tipper Gore’s worst fears incarnate. A horrifying concoction of apathy and malaise wrapped in a delectable sheet of hatred, drowned in a bath of contempt represented here by club sauce. Great for parties, ask your caterer for details.” Time to rustle the jimmies.
“The year is 1987. Robocop is in theaters, thrash metal is booming, and my mommy and daddy are just a few short years away from bumpin’ uglies to produce yours truly. On the other side of the world, an Australian Slayer fan named Peter Hobbs decides to transform his thrash band Tyrus into a new project named after Reign in Blood’s infamous opening track. The result is Hobbs’ Angel of Death – ostensibly one of the first bands from Down Under to play what we now know as classic thrash metal.” The social thrash contract must not be broken!
