![Eternal Champion – The Armor of Ire [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Eternal-Champion_The-Armor-or-Ire-768x768.jpg)
“How did I miss an album with that cover, you ask? We didn’t get the damn promo, that’s how. If we did, I’d have seen the title (the same as a much beloved Sega Genesis brawler from my youth), taken notice of the art and the rest would be history. Now that I’m way late to the raiding party, I’m finding this thing the near-perfect companion piece to the awesome Sumerlands debut of earlier this year.” Obtain the Sword of Groupon and come with us!
“In the rich annals of metal bands crossing over into unintentional parody, Sacred Steel looms large. The perpetually over-the-top cheese fueled trve metal warriors led by “unorthodox” vocalist Gerrit P. Mutz have been pounding on the doors of the Great Hall ov Great Metal demanding entrance since 1997 only to be met with a shrug and a “No Solicitation” sign. But ignore them at your peril, for they’re as relentless as they are comical.” In trvth there is pain.
“Those looking for great prose don’t turn to a dictionary. Instead, a writer opens up the ol’ Merriam-Webster tome to get himself a clinical definition of whatever word he happens to be unsure about. With that step out of the way, our writer can hopefully make something great using the technical knowledge he gained. While he’ll remember the dictionary definition, it will never be inspiring to him; it will just be a reminder about what the word means and how to use it correctly in context. When listening to Gloryful’s third record, End of the Night, I kept coming back to dictionaries. It sounds like heavy metal and I suppose it technically is.” Glory is for winners.
“One look at that cover and you knew I’d be the chosen one to review it, didn’t you? And rightly so, as Ravensire has an imposing Throne of Usurpation built directly on the epicenter of my metallic wheelhouse. They rock a burly form of trve metal similar to Visigoth and Ironsword, and since that means Conan-core, you can expect much Cirith Ungol worshiping, Manowar loin clothing and Manilla Road raging.” If you’re bored, reforge the sword!
“We’ve reached another December and that means another nostalgic summation of 365 days of anger. Looking back, 2015 was a good little year and I’m glad for all it provided.”
“We’ve reached the end of 2015 and this year I’m personally editing these Top Ten lists. For the first time (ever) I am reading the production of the different writers we’ve assembled over the last few years. I am shocked. I am dismayed. I feel angry, offended, galled. But I am not surprised. Under Steel Druhm and Madam X‘s indulgent care and averted gaze the young Angry Metal Staffers have run amok. Alas, after having actually consumed of the words these gentlemen produce, I’m firing them all. It’s back to the drawing board: me, Steel Druhm, and as much metalcore as you can eat!”
“Greece loves heavy metal. This is known. From symphonic blackness to cheese-coated dragon and sandal power silliness, they’re well represented as fans and performers alike. Now Diviner joins the eternal fight to defend the faith with their Fallen Empires debut, weaponizing a kind of traditional metal with deep roots in the mid-80s American scene.” Enter the No Dragon Zone!
“Like a new year’s resolution gone completely to hell, you’ll notice that the Record o’ the Month for February is getting posted nearly 3/4 of the way through the month by a man covered in Oreo ice cream and smelling strongly of gin. For that I say: c’mon, it’s just like old times! Why all the whining? You know I love you guys. I can change, I swear! No really, it won’t be like this next time, I promise!” As a humble offering, Angry Metal Guy offers up Record(s) o’ the Month.
“You can’t accuse Manilla Road of jumping on many bandwagons. Since forming in the late 70s, they’ve lingered in a perpetually kvlt phantom zone, honing their uniquely clunky proto-metal sound. While doing so, they’ve steadfastly remained oblivious to how the metal world evolved around them, and practiced willful ignorance toward modern production technology and recording advances. Because of this admirable history of stubborn stick-to-it-ness, I can’t accuse them of joining the double album trend we see developing of late, though a double album they doth deliver.” Another double album in 2015? This may become the Year of Too Much Metal!
