Vulvodynia

Wormhole – The Weakest Among Us Review

Wormhole – The Weakest Among Us Review

“Karen, Plankton’s computer wife, defines ‘seaweed’ as, and I quote, ‘50% sea, 50% weed.’ I define Wormhole as ‘50% worm, 50% hole,’ where ‘worm’ represents tech-death and ‘hole’ represents slam. I rarely encounter genre-blending bands who can evenly balance the weight each constituent style bears upon their respective sounds, but Wormhole might be the first to find a perfect 50/50 distribution.” Numbers, worms and holes.

Devourment – Obscene Majesty Review

Devourment – Obscene Majesty Review

“This album will take years off your life. It is exfoliant, defoliant, supreme scourer of the Earth. You’ve heard death metal before. Maybe you’ve even heard slam. Maybe you’re a total slam fiend; even then, you’re still not prepared for this record. Maybe, just maybe, you’re familiar with Christopher Scotes’s work mapping and visualizing continental drift through time. If you are, recall that about 80 million years ago the Indian subcontinent, until this point a background character in tectonics at large, suddenly jettisons Madagascar to the West and just books it North, plowing into Asia to create the geologic equivalent of the Vulgar Display of Power cover. That’s what Obscene Majesty is like.” Landmassive.

Vulvodynia – Mob Justice Review

Vulvodynia – Mob Justice Review

Vulvodynia’s 2016 monstrosity Psychosadistic Design joined Ingested’s Surpassing the Boundaries of Human Suffering at the top of the relatively accessible slamming deathcore pile. Upon its release, it sold a boatload of copies due to its mixture of self-aware ridiculousness and a charmingly cavalier attitude towards everything but riffs. Both records were great ‘gateway slam’ records — their production was friendly to ‘core ears and the riffs were unfairly catchy. Structurally, both took the general deathcore idea and replaced breakdowns with slams and both were a lot of fun for it. Both toed the line between excess and parody expertly, which made them easy to like and laugh along with. Three years later, Vulvodynia have returned.” Flash slam.

Organectomy – Existential Disconnect Review

Organectomy – Existential Disconnect Review

“The Summer of Slamcore and Other Slammy Things™ continues for this guy right here. So far, my choices from the promo bin failed to impress or rapidly soured after the initial bout of Shiny New Thing Disorder lifted. But there must be light at the end of the tunnel. As soon as I saw New Zealand’s very own modern slam juggernauts Organectomy peeking out from under all of the mediocre black metal dreck littering the place, I knew I had found that light.” Wham, bam, thank you, slam!

Mental Cruelty – Inferis Review

Mental Cruelty – Inferis Review

“Well, I guess the Pope is a zombie now. Admit it, you all saw that coming. A religious leader, let alone one that wields as much influence as the head of the Catholic Church? Come on. Whatever, that’s a tangent for another time. For now, let’s talk about the second full-length album by Mental Cruelty, named Inferis.” Popecore.

Ingested – The Level Above Human Review

Ingested – The Level Above Human Review

“Slow year for death metal though it has been, things are speeding up — metaphorically, that is. Manchester’s finest slamongers are back with their fourth full-length insult, The Level Above Human, and as always they’re peddling their trademark combination of deathcore and brutal slam. It’s an influential mix and one that plenty of today’s slam-purveyors like Vulvodynia and Abominable Putridity owe their success to. Yet as fun, as the beatdown combo can be, quality control has never been a hallmark of either genre. Ingested navigate the bloodied, goopy waters of brutal deathcore as well as any crew of veteran slam sailors, and though The Level Above Human won’t change your world, it will change the position of your head in relation to that world with great regularity.” Level up or die.

Ruff Majik – Seasons Review

Ruff Majik – Seasons Review

“Located at the very tip of the African continent, South Africa may win the prize for ‘Most Accurate Country Name,’ challenged only by the uniformly low and flat Netherlands. Metal, however, is not what the nation is generally known for (apartheid and the guy who directed District 9 both rank higher, for instance.) In our extensive archives, only 9 articles bear a ‘South African Metal’ tag. Until today, that is, because Ruff Majik come forth from the shadows of Pretoria, the South African capital.” South Africa rising.

Ophiuchi – Bifurcaria Bifurcata Review

Ophiuchi – Bifurcaria Bifurcata Review

“I’m about as fluent in South African metal bands as I am in French. And that’s a goddamn shame (the SA band thing, not the French thing). But, even for my limited knowledge of SA scene, I’m happy to say I spend a lot of time with a couple of good ones (Vulvodynia and Wildernessking). So, when I received a promo from a little known South African outfit (from our own SA native, Madam X), I was more than a little excited. Especially when I hit ‘play.'” This springbok has sharp horns ov iron.

Vulvodynia – Psychosadistic Design Review

Vulvodynia – Psychosadistic Design Review

“Back in high school, metal fans, me ashamedly included, compared our chosen genre to classical in its proficiency and complexity, and laughed at the other “dumb” genres for their lack of “intelligent” lyrics and themes. What intolerable pricks were we. I can confidently say that, had I been in that woefully immature mindset currently, I would not have enjoyed anything about Vulvodynia. Their second full-length Psychosadistic Design is everything the intelligent pretentious types love to hate: it’s loud, it’s obnoxious, it’s hilariously over-the-top in its lyrical effrontery, and it chugs more than someone getting perpetually annihilated at beer pong. And honestly, I haven’t had this much fun with slamming brutal death metal in years.” Slam the torpedoes, full chug ahead!