Witchtrap

Alcoholocaust – Necro Apocalipse Bestial Review

Alcoholocaust – Necro Apocalipse Bestial Review

“It’s Monday. 8:24 A.M. I pull my Toyota into the Magazine Street parking garage, fifth floor, the only spot in the shade that still has cell phone reception. Aura Noir‘s Out to Die is blasting on the stereo. I pay the parking fee on my mobile app and sigh as I prepare myself for another day at the office. And then, I stop. What if I don’t go in? I think to myself. What if I just turn the car back on and drive away? What if I forget my job and spend the rest of the summer guzzling booze, getting hairy, and banging my fukkin head for the Master in Hell? It seems radical, but a group of people have actually done it.” Down with adulthood!

Lucifera – La Caceria De Brujas Review

Lucifera – La Caceria De Brujas Review

“My old computer science teacher once told our class that he liked Baja Blast Mountain Dew so much, he wished he could stick an IV in his arm and take it intravenously. Interestingly enough, that’s exactly the way I feel about blackened thrash metal. To me it’s like a drug: I don’t just want it, I fucking need it. It seems each continent produces its own unique strain and while I like Australia’s best, in recent years I’ve also come to enjoy the raw and uncompromising approach of South American bands like Invocation Spells and Witchtrap. Colombian duo Lucifera embody this same ethos.” Pick your poison.

70000 Tons of Metal: One Man’s Journey

70000 Tons of Metal: One Man’s Journey

“My friends ask me what happened, but my ability to verbally communicate has been reduced to moaning and a weeping noise that sounds something like a baby panda crying for milk. I wonder how I’m going to make it through the final day of this floating festival. I wonder when the aching will subside. I wonder where my life went so wrong. How did I end up here, on the 7th annual 70000 Tons of Metal cruise, weak with exhaustion and feeling like my body has been bludgeoned with a sledgehammer? My mind drifts back…” Tales from a 70000 ton heavy thing.

Gravebreaker – Sacrifice Review

Gravebreaker – Sacrifice Review

“In times of turmoil, our old refrains become more important to our sanity than ever. After burying my wallet in the backyard following some semi-drunk Christmas shopping, I turned to the latest Gothenburg-spawned album on the pile. Nothing better than somber keyboard-laden melodeath and the pitch-black 4 o’clock hour to ease the pain, right? No chance.” The 80s ride again!

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

“Look at that album title. Look at that art. Now that is a gimmick! Forgive my exuberance, but after only just overcoming the trauma-induced tinnitus from my previous attempts at thrash, Witchtrap prove that good things come to those who scour the promo sheet with a fine-toothed comb.” Nasty things come to those who dumpster dive.