Yngwie Malmsteen

Exmortus – Necrophony Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on August 21, 2023 in Reviews, Death Metal, Thrash Metal, 29 comments

“With harsh, deathy vocals and neoclassical character, they began harnessing their style into records of swirling, whirling, technical thrash. While many would argue the ranking of their discography, it’s hard to deny that 2014’s Slave to the Sword was peak Exmortus. This neatly-packaged album showcased the very best Exmortus can be. With two follow-up albums since Slave to the Sword, the band continued to wow and amaze with their impressive noodling. But, as suggested earlier, they’ve yet to create a concise, flowing album like Slave to the Sword.” Unfinished swords.

Narnia – Ghost Town Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on March 23, 2023 in Reviews, Power Metal, 57 comments

“Everyone’s favorite Christian band is back (that isn’t Stryper or Theocracy). No new gimmicks, no new twists—just the same sermons explaining why all you sin-sucking sons of bitches are going to Hell.” Holy ghosts and goblins.

Forsaken Eternity – A Kingdom of Ice Review

By Twelve on July 17, 2022 in Reviews, Black Metal, Symphonic Metal, 14 comments

“I like it when black metal is fun. And I know, I know, that’s not “the point” of the genre, except we’re way past the ‘90s and black metal is a whole lot cooler than it used to be. And if you don’t believe me, why not take a gander at that cover art and wilt under the crushing weight of your own doubts? Forsaken Eternity is a symphonic black metal act from the United States, and, despite having been around since 2015, A Kingdom of Ice is their debut full-length album. Here, we see a comparatively young band who plays it fast, plays it cool, and plays it pretty fun.” Forsaken frowny faces.

Abbath – Dread Reaver Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on March 22, 2022 in Reviews, Black Metal, 132 comments

“As you can see from the atrocious cover art, Abbath continues to prove this is his band. And he’s starting to show that with the same absurd vigor that garners album covers from Yngwie Malmsteen. And when I saw that Abbath chose to mix Dread Reaver himself, my fear factor increased double-fold. And on first listen, I knew Dread Reaver was in trouble.” Bob and reave.

Rachel Mother Goose – Synra Basho Review

By Itchymenace on December 9, 2021 in Reviews, 41 comments

“Yes, Rachel Mother Goose is an odd name and no, I don’t know why they chose to call themselves that. Given that RMG is a Japanese band and given many of the curious lyric choices (all in English), I imagine something was lost in translation. I had never heard of this band before Steel Druhm handed it off, but the mention of Rainbow and Yngwie Malmsteen as primary influences had me intrigued. How would a band of young Japanese shredders update the bloated neoclassical metal genre? Would it be full “Speed King” ahead with epic Blackmorean riffs? Or a neoclassical wank fest of Rising Forced arpeggios?” Duck, duck, Yngwie!

Opera Diabolicus – Death on a Pale Horse Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on December 1, 2021 in Reviews, Gothic Metal, Heavy Metal, 60 comments

“Along with Shaw and Levén, the band adds some stellar vocals from Madeleine Liljestam (Eleine) and Angelina DelCarmen (Charetta), and guitar solos from King Diamond legends Andy LaRocque and Michael Denner. But the backbone of the album is all the other guests. These lesser-known individuals supply the keys, strings, pianos, and organs that make up the record’s core. It’s an unbelievable lineup with a lot of moving parts. But, somehow, the band keeps this chaotic metal opera about ‘witchcraft, the black death and revenge!’ together.” Panic in the opera horse.

Book of Numbers – Magick Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on September 2, 2021 in Reviews, Doom Metal, Heavy Metal, Power Metal, 35 comments

“Though Steel threw this at me because of the Phoenix connection, what really got me was the promo whitepaper. None other than David Thoener mixed the Phoenician’s debut record. And for him to say that the quality of Magick reminds him of his work on Rainbow’s Rising is a big deal. So, I began spinning the record.” Numbers racket.

Yngwie Malmsteen – Parabellum Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on July 20, 2021 in Reviews, Power Metal, 58 comments

“At the ripe age of old, Yngwie Malmsteen is back with his 873rd full-length release. But, unlike some of his more recent outings, the man explores his neoclassical roots. This means it took him 3.5 more days than usual to write the album. He also put to death 19 guitars during rehearsal and 74 in the making of Parabellum. All deaths were the result of friction from his finger-play, setting them on fire. But even though the man has been releasing albums before the invention of the calendar, no one has reviewed any of his albums at AMG. So be it, I said.” Wanko tango.

Iron Mask – Master of Masters Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on December 7, 2020 in Reviews, Power Metal, 25 comments

“Twenty-twenty has been the year of ore. Iron ore, that is. We’ve seen it extracted from the earth, thrown into the blasting furnace, and molded into steel. From that steel, we’ve seen so many swords forged, that it’s practically raining the motherfuckers. There’s Ironsword and Megatron Sword, Possessed Steel and Blood Hails Steel – Steel Hails Fire, to name a few. And it won’t fucking end as long as Steel is fanning the furnace.” Mask ore die.

GOD – IV – Revelation Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on July 17, 2020 in Reviews, Instrumental Metal, Progressive Metal, Technical Death Metal, 63 comments

“Narnia is one thing. Try a band whose name says it all. Try GOD. All bold, all caps, almighty. I can see you looking at the genre tags, expecting words like ‘gospel’ and ‘power metal.’ Instead, you see ‘prog,’ ‘instrumental,’ and ‘tech-death.’ Do you believe in revelations? Well, you’re about to.” Get right with the Man.