“With the dawn of a new year and all the changes that come with it, sometimes it’s good to keep in mind the things that stay the same. That is: Judge Judy will always provide excellent daytime television. The “cockroach mosh” video will never not be funny. And Hells Headbangers will continue to deliver a seemingly endless supply of barbaric extreme metal pulled from countries I’m only familiar with thanks to National Geographic.” Mysterious and riffy.
“Today’s dousing of rousing black metal is brought to you by the connoisseurs of battlefield chaos: Evil Warriors. In between raids, assaults, missions, sieges and skirmishes, the members of this troublesome horde forge equally manic and violent music to accompany their meddlesome missions.” The raiding life.
“Though initially operating in a callous, misanthropic style, Nazghor embraced a full-blown melodic bent with 2016’s Death’s Withered Chants. This turn of events, coupled with increased attention to production standards, resulted in their strongest material to date. Infernal Aphorism is the logical next step in Nazghor’s evolution: an exploration of their newfound abilities and a test of their endurance.” Black metal marathon.
“In the entire English language, no three words get me more excited than “Australian blackened thrash” (maybe “double bacon cheeseburger,” but that’s a different article). Deströyer 666, Gospel of the Horns, Nocturnal Graves — all great stuff, and Bloodlust is just as savage. This Perth-based trio formed in 2011 and consist of current and former members of Impiety, The Furor, and Mhorgl, among others. Somehow debut Cultus Diaboli slipped by me in 2015, but no matter — sophomore full-length At the Devil’s Left Hand is here, and it provides all the Satan, hellfire riffs, and Satan that your pathetic little ears can handle. Did I mention Satan?” Satan.
“From Beethoven to Brian Eno, mankind has toiled for centuries to compose the greatest music human minds can fathom. Alas it was not until the mid-90s that music finally attained its supreme form, when two metal genres miraculously fused in the unholy union known as ‘blackened thrash.’” It was the best of times, it was the the blast of times.
“Titties, rippling muscles, a motorcycle, and a horde of miscreants — what’s not to love about that artwork? Add in a promo blurb billing Weapönizer as a band for fans of everything from Deströyer 666 to The Road Warrior and I’m more curious than a 12-year-old boy outside a sleazy gentlemen’s club.” Law is for posers.
“From Kreator to Sepultura and every re-thrash act in between, this year intends to chase 2016 down and crush its skull, Whiplash-style. Now the thawing Canadian tundra has spit out Infernäl Mäjesty to bloody this party up. Exiting hibernation after over a decade, the old farts celebrate the big 3-0 with the fiery malice of No God.” Thrash as olde as the Canadian permafrost.
“The patriot in me gets a little warm and fuzzy when contemplating the healthy state of the Australian metal scene. Whether it be divisive big guns Ne Obliviscaris and King Parrot, head-scratching experimental acts like Portal and Hope Drone, the thrashy old-school goodness of Hobbs’ Angel of Death and Deströyer 666, cutting edge modern tearaways Départe and Deadspace, or reliable tech death stalwarts Psycroptic, there’s a hugely satisfying selection of Aussie metal to satiate a wide variety of extreme tastes.” Is it just me or do Aussies like their D’s and P’s?
The lists keep coming and the choices are getting stranger. Now Mark Z. and Diabolus in Muzaka get the spotlight for their Top Tens. Follow along and take copious notes if you know what’s good for you.
“For an American who’s never visited, Australia seems like the coolest place on Earth. I get emissions testing done on my Toyota and listen to an old Army veteran reminisce about the beachy weather and beautiful women he met during his R&R travel there. I talk to a co-worker and hear stories about young women writing their phone numbers on tennis balls and tossing them onto the deck of his ship as it pulled into Sydney. I shotgun a Fosters while riding a kangaroo, wearing Globes, and blasting Deströyer 666 loud enough to crush my balls. I may have made one of those up. Point is, I love Australian metal, and Denouncement Pyre is no exception.” Disparaging the Boot is a bootable offense, Mark!
