3.0

ACxDC – G.O.A.T. Review

ACxDC – G.O.A.T. Review

“If you don’t know ACxDC, then what are you doing with your life? Like listening to actually good metal? Too bad for your sorry ass. The LA natives are back in black for their own highway to hell, and it’s too good to be true. For the woefully uninformed and uncultured, don’t even think alternate or direct current and Brian Johnson, you swine. It’s Antichrist Demoncore, and the peanut butter cup moniker of divine apathy is so sweet and gummy.” Vote for G.O.A.T..

Mother of All – Global Parasitic Leviathan Review

Mother of All – Global Parasitic Leviathan Review

“Have you ever wondered what modern melodic death metal might sound like if these up-and-coming bands would take a moment to find a sound that isn’t pure pastiche? Now, I know that might seem critical—and it is. But with so many bands out there that are variations on At the Gates, In Flames, Dark Tranquillity, and whatever other big name you can think of, pure worship of these bands, who wield extended discographies and active tour schedules, just isn’t enough. That kind of retread with a tinge of mix-up can be good, of course. Just look at our latest rodeö for the proudly olde-reaching Veriteras. So do we need a Global Parasitic Leviathan to save us?” I Dismember Momma.

Atrae Bilis – Aumicide Review

Atrae Bilis – Aumicide Review

“2020 saw the rise of an exciting new EP by Canadian oddball tech death outfit Atrae Bilis, entitled Divinihility. While that record carved deep grooves into the earth, forming a tight network of twisting channels into which the band planted their roots, the wrangled tangle of barbed vines that sprung out of debut LP Apexapien exhibited more dissonant and atmospheric traits than I anticipated. It wasn’t a direction I would’ve preferred Atrae Bilis to take, but there’s no denying now that it was the smartest move. The band’s signature gnarled expulsions kept me intrigued enough that I eagerly snapped up sophomore full length Aumicide for my warped death fix.” Matrix babies are the new sphere.

My Dying Bride – A Mortal Binding Review

My Dying Bride – A Mortal Binding Review

“I’ve been listening to My Dying Bride’s entire discography, including this new one, nonstop for a good two weeks straight. It’s begun to affect my daily life. A couple nights ago, after putting the Cherdlet to bed, my wife asked me what I’d like to do with the rest of our evening and without thinking I said, “Drink deep of your neck chalice.” While she was still quietly processing this, I complimented her on the whiteness of her breasts. She decided she wanted to watch “one of her shows” instead and bid me good night.” Gothic suave is tricky.

The Absence – The Absence Review

The Absence – The Absence Review

“Florida’s The Absence have carved out a tidy career of dependable material across two separate career arcs since forming way back in 2002. Their first few albums were thrashy, slightly blackened melodeath bangers with killer riffs, striking melodies and catchy hooks in tow. Hardly groundbreaking stuff but solidly entertaining, nonetheless. Following an eight-year recording hiatus, The Absence kicked back into gear in 2018 and now we arrive at the third album of their recharged second era, and sixth overall, following on from 2021’s reliably solid Coffinized release. On this occasion, the veteran act decided to go the self-titled route, which often translates to a stylistic reinvention, or assertive back-to-basics approach.” Absence makes the heart do something.

Temple of the Fuzz Witch – Apotheosis Review

Temple of the Fuzz Witch – Apotheosis Review

“The act’s history is one associated with Sleep worship. Fuzzy riffs, croons thick with weed, and mammoth drums did little to distinguish from the masses, and their moniker became a comical reflection of the music contained within. Both Temple of the Fuzz Witch’s 2017 self-titled debut and 2020 follow-up Red Tide followed this Black Sabbath but haze-filled, orange amp- and MountainKing Megalith-fueled weight.” Fuzz is the new buzz.

Attacker – The God Particle Review

Attacker – The God Particle Review

“New Jersey’s Attacker have a decades-long history but seem to exist in perpetual near-obscurity outside of the Tri-State area. Hitting the scene in 1985 with their Battle at Helm’s Deep debut, they were a part of the US power metal scene along with contemporaries Helstar, Liege Lord, and Jag Panzer. As with others in that movement, they blended Judas Priest andIron Maiden influences with increased speed. Now Attacker return with seventh album The God Particle. Will this be the fateful release that finally sees Weehawken, New Jersey’s finest getting greater exposure?” Do you come from the land of landfills?