3.5

The Neptune Power Federation – Goodnight My Children Review

The Neptune Power Federation – Goodnight My Children Review

“I have a soft spot for these Australian weirdos. Memoirs of a Rat Queen bowled me over back in 2019 and I still spin “Rat Queen” and “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” regularly. Follow-up Le Demon De L’amour didn’t quite tickle my fancy the same way, though, with an overall less impactful and memorable tracklist that contained only one real banger. It seems love songs didn’t capture the off-kilter theatrical vibe where The Neptune Power Federation is strongest. The concept for Goodnight My Children is fairytales and bedtime stories, which can really go either way. Underwhelming sweetness or a wonky wonderland, what does the Imperial Priestess Screaming Loz Sutch have in store for us this year?” Tell us a story. Will ya? Will ya?

The Dread Crew of Oddwood – Rust & Glory Review

The Dread Crew of Oddwood – Rust & Glory Review

“We’re no strangers to “pirate metal” ’round these parts, are we? There’s just something about the enduring and relatable ideals of pirate-themed music that we at Angry Metal Guy universally love, commenters, readers, and writers alike. I’ve opened my review with this entirely uncontroversial statement as a way to share with you my own excitement when I received the promo copy for Rust & Glory, the fifth full-length release for the U.S.-based pirate musicians that make up The Dread Crew of Oddwood.” YAAARR’s revenge.

Hand of Kalliach – Corryvreckan Review

Hand of Kalliach – Corryvreckan Review

“A Scottish husband and wife duo, Hand of Kalliach is self-described as melodic death metal that is interwoven with Celtic and Gaelic folk music and has been making wholly distinct music defying implied genre confines since 2020. Their yet-brief existence has already spawned an independent EP and LP, and now a sophomore full-length under the Prosthetic Records banner. Swift underground successes and unique sonic signifiers are all well and good, but when it comes to Corryvreckan, does innovation translate to a worthwhile listen?” Marriage Metal!

Volcandra – The Way of Ancients Review

Volcandra – The Way of Ancients Review

“My roommate and good friend once got to meet Kentucky melodic black metal troupe Volcandra at work while I was stuck doing something infinitely less fun, I’m sure. I know this because she, familiar with how deeply entrenched I am in the metal scene, messaged me to ask, ‘Hey, do you know this band called Volcandra?’ I, of course, responded, ‘Yeah, they’re pretty good! Why?’ She replied, to paraphrase, ‘Yeah, I just got to meet them, and they seem really cool and nice.’ Imagine my thinly veiled jealousy as I came back with, ‘Oh that’s super cool!'” Womp womp.

Slimelord – Chytridiomycosis Relinquished Review

Slimelord – Chytridiomycosis Relinquished Review

Slimelord employ a twisty, sticky kind of death metal, fusing the hallucinogenic swampiness of Worm or Tomb Mold, with the colder more surgical brutality of acts like Replicant or Asystole. Whether it drags itself along like a primordial monster or comes at you with flailing, slimy limbs at breakneck speed, Chytridiomycosis Relinquished is consistently bonkers and brutal.” Where the slime rule.

Bruce Dickinson – The Mandrake Project Review

Bruce Dickinson – The Mandrake Project Review

“Between 1996 and 1998 Bruce put out two solo albums that were as good or better than anything Maiden had done since 1988. Accident of Birth and Chemical Wedding were tremendous albums with Bruce at his very best. He seemed way more inspired and adventurous as a solo artist than he was as part of 90s-era Maiden, and I wanted him to keep doing his thing. We all know how it worked out in the end. Bruce went back to Maiden and his solo career took a backseat. We now dwell in the Senjutsu era and there hasn’t been a Dickinson solo project since 2005. That all changed last week when Bruce dropped his brand new solo platter, The Mandrake Project.” Cheers of the dragon.

Arthouse Fatso – Sycophantic Seizures: A Double Feature Review

Arthouse Fatso – Sycophantic Seizures: A Double Feature Review

“First, 2024 gave us NASCAR-themed heavy metal, then shortly thereafter Mortal Kombat-themed heavy metal. In this world of extreme tunes and extreme niches, artists look even more granularly into their fascinations for artistic inspiration. In turn, Arthouse Fatso, chooses Orson Welles—acclaimed and controversial American filmmaker—as its hammering theme for an industrial deathgrind adventure. It’s not often that such a grimy genre finds a muse in a figure that’s not a serial killer or something fictional and equally macabre. But Fatso seems ready to revive Welles as an industry outsider fit for patch-vested punk fixation .” Citizen Pain.

Northern Genocide – The Point of No Return Review

Northern Genocide – The Point of No Return Review

“Just like a sommelier can (allegedly) sense and describe the minutest differences between wines that may seem identical to the less learned, so can the seasoned metalhead identify regional differences and genre influences that laypersons may question with the tried and true adage: “It’s all just noise, isn’t it?” Melodic death metal has many offshoots and flavors, but the Finnish variety tends to be instantly recognizable anyway, often thanks to a melodic core that draws from neoclassical- and power metal. Northern Genocide wears this hat with pride but then proceeds to layer a bunch of other hats on top until defenestrated by the owner of the hatshop.” Hats and mass murder.