GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.
Rope Sect – The Great Flood Review

Rope Sect – The Great Flood Review

By GardensTale on August 10, 2020 in Reviews, 31 comments

“Idle Hands took the metal scene by storm last year. Their debut Mana had an unexpectedly widespread appeal and proved conclusively that the love for gothic rock among us was not as dead as many thought. The comparison to Idle Hands is easily made when looking at Rope Sect’s The Great Flood, another band seeking to revive old school gothic rock, and perhaps that may contribute to the quickly amassing buzz around the fledgling band, but two quality EP’s and a guest spot for Grave Pleasures and Hexvessel frontman Matthew McNerney a.k.a. Kvohst will do nothing to quell the surging tide of hype.” Rope, buzz, cults and hype.

The Vice – White Teeth Rebellion Review

The Vice – White Teeth Rebellion Review

By GardensTale on August 6, 2020 in Reviews, Hard Rock, 47 comments

“Genres create expectations. That’s largely their purpose. You categorize music into recognizable sounds and that way you know roughly what sort of sound to expect when a band’s genre or combination thereof is explained to you. Black n’ roll, the combination of black metal’s dark intensity and hard rock’s catchiness and swagger, has a broad range of expectations to operate in, from the icy cold of Satyricon to the incomprehensible party anthems of Kvelertak.” Molar express.

Dystopia A.D. – Rise of the Merciless Review

Dystopia A.D. – Rise of the Merciless Review

By GardensTale on July 31, 2020 in Reviews, Death Metal, Progressive Metal, 29 comments

“Preconceptions are fun, aren’t they? When I tell you Dystopia A.D. is a 2-man unsigned band from Jersey, or Joisey as it’s colloquially known, you’re already forming a picture in your head. If you’re like me, you’re probably expecting some sort of politically charged thrash, possibly of a crossover or core-related variety. Dystopia is, after all, a word that inherently defines a result of particular forms of governance, and Jersey is known primarily for blue collar thrash, Overkill of course its flag carrier. Combine that with the unsigned 2-man band and the picture seems complete. Except it’s utterly, utterly wrong.” Garden state fake.

Jet Jaguar – Endless Nights Review

Jet Jaguar – Endless Nights Review

By GardensTale on July 15, 2020 in Reviews, Glam Metal, Heavy Metal, NWOBHM, 17 comments

“Despite being a sizable and populous country, Mexico has precious few big names in the metal scene. These days their biggest claim to fame is a certain pirate metal drinking song, followed by Brujeria’s brutal cartel-themed death metal. But there is still significant love for the more classic subgenres, and Jet Jaguar are testimony to that fact. Winners of the Wacken Open Air Metal Battle 2017, these 5 gents have been pounding the pavement and reawakening the Mesoamerican hunger for 80’s metal for a while now, and they are finally ready to drop their debut, the garishly neon-colored Endless Nights.” Own the purple night.

Saints of Death – Ascend to the Throne Review

Saints of Death – Ascend to the Throne Review

By GardensTale on July 8, 2020 in Reviews, Groove Metal, Melodic Death Metal, 25 comments

“Come on, groove metal. I know you can do it. Elitists tend to treat you as the secondary antagonist of metal’s story, behind only to nu-metal, but between genre founders Pantera and the best bits of Machine Head’s discography, there’s still a lot of potential in this particular sound. Hell, I’ve even enjoyed the occasional DevilDriver when craving musical fast-food, which seems to be considered a heinous crime amongst some.” Groove you wrong.

Vile Creature – Glory, Glory! Apathy Took Helm! Review

Vile Creature – Glory, Glory! Apathy Took Helm! Review

By GardensTale on June 18, 2020 in Reviews, Black Metal, Doom Metal, Drone, 41 comments

“A couple of years ago, I saddled myself with the record Cast of Static and Smoke by Ontarian duo Vile Creature. It turned out to be perhaps the most memorable 3.0 I have reviewed these past 4 years. Despite its flaws, it was an ambitious record that thrived on hideous, grimy textures, hypnotic repetition and glacial progression, rather than hooks or energy. A bit over 2 years hence, and its follow-up graces my inbox, with a disturbing, Midsommar-esque cover and featuring the unwieldy title of Glory, Glory! Apathy Took Helm!.” Helm’s deep.

The Committee – Utopian Deception Review

The Committee – Utopian Deception Review

By GardensTale on June 8, 2020 in Reviews, Black Metal, 29 comments

“Now that mega-corporations have paved the internet highways with the asphalt of targeted ads and misinformation, the digital utopia has become a divisive dystopia where that same creativity grows mainly in the cracks between the concrete. But its connective power still remains unabated, and The Committee is testament to that. It was certainly possible for a band whose members live scattered across Europe to exist, but it would surely be more difficult, possibly insurmountably so.” Join the meeting.

Maelstrom – Of Gods and Men Review

Maelstrom – Of Gods and Men Review

By GardensTale on May 31, 2020 in Reviews, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, Thrash Metal, 73 comments

“Maelstrom is a pretty popular handle, but the one we are looking at today has quite a bit of history. Formed in 1988 in West Hempstead, New York, they share their birth year with Iced Earth as well as yours truly. The Iced Earth part is more important, as Maelstrom released a few demos in a similar style, mixing thrash and power metal with a symphonic flair before dropping off the face of the planet.” Fire, ice and shitstorms.