GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.

Iotunn – Access All Worlds Review

By GardensTale on February 26, 2021 in Reviews, 134 comments

“If any of you are fellow Dungeons & Dragons nerds, which of course you are because you listen to metal, you should be familiar with the concept of a natural 20. Well, lately I’ve been experimenting with literally randomizing what promos to pick, using a single line of code to spit out a number corresponding with a place in a list. This time, the code landed on an unassuming sounding debut by a band called Iotunn, marked as space rock. Imagine my surprise when fellow prog lover Huck N Roll informed me that instead I’d landed on a very promising chunk of Metal Blade backed cosmic progressive death metal with none other than Jón Aldará (Barren Earth, Hamferð) on vocals.” Significant access.

In Tormentata Quiete – Krononota Review

By GardensTale on February 23, 2021 in Reviews, Symphonic Metal, 31 comments

“What a profoundly odd band In Tormentata Quiete is. Plenty of Italian bands are grand, pompous, cheesy, and theatrical, but few do it like this one, sporting three vocalists in a range of styles but remaining light on orchestral elements. Their first foray into the halls of AMG was shot down with a 1.0 from Grymm for being unstructured and containing baffling, out-of-place elements like rap breakdowns in the middle of their semi-symphonic avant-garde drama metal. Their second, Finestatico, earned them a 3.5 from yours truly, seemingly fixing everything its predecessor did wrong. Krononota sees another change of the guard in the vocal department, but can they maintain the high standard of before?” Pomp in a weird place.

The Amenta – Revelator Review

By GardensTale on February 19, 2021 in Reviews, Death Metal, Industrial Metal, 24 comments

“The Amenta is a bit of a strange beast. Formed in the late 90’s in Sydney as Crucible of Agony, they released 4 albums after transferring to their new moniker before finally going underground in 2013 after the release of Flesh is Heir. Now the Aussies have reunited under a new label, hoping to stoke the fire anew. But is Revelator a revelation?” Tell me, who’s that writing?

DayGlo Mourning – Dead Star Review

By GardensTale on February 11, 2021 in Reviews, Doom Metal, Stoner Metal, 45 comments

“I remember a comment in a discussion about stoner, of which a paraphrase would come down to ‘stoner doesn’t have anything left to strive for because Kyuss created and perfected the genre with the same album.’ But still, there’re exceptions. Elder and Boss Keloid are two prime examples of putting a different twist on stoner, Clutch has been an offbeat banner-carrier for years and even lesser-known acts like Realms of Vision get to tweak the formula a little. Does DayGlo Mourning’s Dead Star take break new ground, or is it the same old song?” Dead stars and glo-sticks.

Sea Sleeper – Nostophobia Review

By GardensTale on February 9, 2021 in Reviews, Death Metal, Post-Metal, Sludge, 30 comments

“The nasal, Mastodon-like cleans, oftentimes soggy with vocoder effects, reveal an occasional word or two, but most of it gets lost like foam on a cresting wave. The more prominent harsh vocals hold the middle between screeching and barking and are only distantly related to words. The riffing style is the direct result of running a simulation for simplified old Gojira mixed with simplified old Mastodon with the knob marked for “slamminess” turned to full.” Sea ranties.

Tribulation – Where the Gloom Becomes Sound Review

By GardensTale on February 1, 2021 in Reviews, Gothic Metal, 66 comments

“I’ve loved Tribulation backwards. After Dr. Fisting‘s review introduced me to Down Below, I paid it forward to my fiancée, whose reaction was initially lukewarm. But after we witnessed the band play at the Dynamo Metalfest festival, she became an even bigger fan than I was, and she started spinning their material relentlessly. This obsession exposed me to much of the band’s back catalog, from the recent gothic-oriented material to the early Entombed-style death metal, and even branching off to guitarist Jonathan Hultén’s excellent dark folk solo album Chants From Another Place last year.” Gloom for rent.

Yoth Iria – As The Flame Withers Review

By GardensTale on January 29, 2021 in Reviews, Melodic Black Metal, 53 comments

“The debut of a band formed by seasoned veterans is, in a way, the best of both worlds. You get the fresh perspective of a new artist, eager to try something different, without the inexperience that may lead to errors in performances or songwriting. You also get all the good of a collection of artists who know what they’re doing, without the expectations that come with extensive back catalogs, hard-earned fan bases and established styles. Yoth Iria is one such acts, and As The Flame Withers is such a debut.” New black is the new black.

TDW – The Day the Clocks Stopped Review

By GardensTale on January 19, 2021 in Reviews, Progressive Metal, 21 comments

“Hey, remember the infamous manbun album, where Pain of Salvation‘s Daniel Gildenlöw sang about his experience lying in the hospital and almost dying for over 70 minutes? Well, The Day the Clocks Stopped has TDW’s frontman Tom de Wit singing about his experience lying in the hospital and almost dying for over 70 minutes. But TDW’s album is 5 minutes longer and instead of almost dying just once, Tom spent a long time on his sick bed, fighting bowel disease, sensory processing sensitivity and medical mistakes, and he almost died twice! Take that, Daniel!” Hospital-core.

Nicarus – Coal People Coal Puppets Review

By GardensTale on January 12, 2021 in Reviews, Doom Metal, 22 comments

“Well, well, well. Looks like I found myself a unicorn. No, not the band picture, I’m speaking metaphorically. You see, whereas there are plenty of one-man bands, there are not a great deal of one-woman bands. On top of that, Tali Green, the mind behind Nicarus, hails from Israel; hardly a hotbed for metal. So it goes without saying that the underdog factor for Coal People Coal Puppets is sky high. If this were a Hollywood movie, she’d be de facto winner of 2021 already. But is this the real life, or is it a fantasy?” Coal for all.