GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.

Tyranex – Reasons for the Slaughter Review

By GardensTale on September 27, 2023 in Reviews, Speed Metal, Thrash Metal, 46 comments

“What is a successful retro-thrash record? Why would anyone even attempt one? If you lean too much on the old masters, you’re just gonna come off as tired and derivative. Try and diversify, and you lose what makes it retro-thrash. I like the occasional thrash just fine, but when I saw fate had bestowed upon me Tyranex, I breathed a weary sigh and rolled my eyes. Rarely does a promo sheet take this much pride in being retro-thrash, stuffing the short blurb with old school and 80’s speed metal to the point where it felt like managing expectations rather than hyping up the album. But I stuffed my bias in my back pocket and opened my mind to the best of my abilities. Does Reasons for the Slaughter give me reason for a slaughter?” Bring your daughter.

Fire Down Below – Low Desert Surf Club Review

By GardensTale on September 21, 2023 in Reviews, Stoner Metal, 20 comments

“Ever since Huck N Roll tragically jumped his mountain bike into a combine harvester, I’ve been missing my buddy dearly. Out of everyone among the AMG staff, his taste and mine aligned the most, especially around prog, psychedelic and stoner. So it’s only right for me to carry on his legacy and dive into the new Fire Down Below.” Stone the surf.

Shining – Shining Review

By GardensTale on September 14, 2023 in Reviews, Black Metal, Doom Metal, 35 comments

“Shining have a carefully calibrated reputation as one of the saddest bands in history. A single spin of the renowned V: Halmstad is enough to know that it’s a reputation well earned. Oppressive, dark and full of despair— it’s rightfully considered a seminal depressive suicidal black metal record. The band’s record since then has been spotty, however. Incorporating more acoustics and clean vocals brought variety but did not increase the gut punch the band was known for. Attempts at re-aligning the band’s direction were made and unmade, naming traditions were dropped and picked up again, and the misanthropic flame started to sputter.” The definitive Shining?

VAK – The Islands Review

By GardensTale on August 31, 2023 in Reviews, Noise, Progressive Metal, Sludge Metal, 28 comments

Alright, you sodden louts, ready thine ears because this here album will need to enter forthwith. We usually save that sort of statement for the second paragraph, using the first to build tension with a nice gentle lead-up, but if you want one of those, tough shit. This is your lead-up. Gapen your hearing holes and get ready to absorb one of the flat-out coolest albums of the year, coming from the Stockholm underground to deliver a baseball bat, wrapped in barbed wire and dipped in ayahuasca, straight to the trachea. VAK has arrived.” VAK Daddy.

Noveria – The Gates of the Underworld Review

By GardensTale on August 28, 2023 in Reviews, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, 23 comments

“Ah, Noveria. When I first encountered this talented bunch on sophomore album Forsaken, the clash between the overt melodrama and the serious subject matter forced me to leave a middling score. But 2019’s Aequilibrium was a huge improvement. It was almost like the band had used my review as a template for what to fix, making strides in songwriting, execution, and production alike.” Peak and Death Valley.

Aetherian – At Storm’s Edge Review

By GardensTale on July 20, 2023 in Reviews, Melodic Death Metal, 48 comments

“Aetherian is young in the sense that this is but their second album, but they’ve been at it for almost a decade now. It has taken the band 6 years to craft a follow-up to their debut. Has the time investment paid off, or is there a sophomore slump after all?” At the bleeding edge of brilliance.

Church of Misery – Born Under a Mad Sign Review

By GardensTale on July 10, 2023 in Reviews, Doom Metal, Sludge Metal, Stoner Metal, 27 comments

“It has been a tumultuous decade for Church of Misery. The line-up has had a habit of falling to pieces entirely, only for bassist and lynchpin Tatsu Mikami to rake replacements into a pile and keep on trucking. Given the constant state of flux in the line-up, it’s a miracle the sound has remained more or less the same. Few bands worship at the altar of the almighty riff like the Church: huge, crunchy, filthy, straight out of the desert and dripping with distortion.” Altars of radness.

Antirope – Amnesia Review

By GardensTale on July 7, 2023 in Reviews, Alternative Metal, Doom Metal, 28 comments

“Alternative metal has a colorful history, running parallel with some of metal’s greatest upheavals and residing at the crib of nu-metal’s short but terrible reign. Nowadays the term is practically a relic, but every now and then a band comes along that hearkens back to that no man’s land between ‘true’ metal and radio rock. Antirope is such a band.” Alternative to what?

GardensTale goes to Graspop

By GardensTale on July 2, 2023 in Blog Posts, 98 comments

What happens when we embed an AMG staffer at the Graspop metal festival in Belgium? Heavy drinking and strong takes happen.

Smokey Mirror – Smokey Mirror Review

By GardensTale on May 14, 2023 in Reviews, Psychedelic Rock, 12 comments

“Ah, the self-titled debut. Always a good start to your legacy as a new band. Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath are the obvious examples, but it remains a popular choice well into this century as evidenced by the legendary Taylor Swift. It’s not enough to carve out a legacy on its own though. A proper label goes a long way to rise above the middling plebs, and Smokey Mirror comes out strong with the backing of Rise Above Records. All the ducks are in a row for these Texan proto-metal newbies.” Smoke and RAWK.