GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.

Empress – Wait ‘Til Night Review

By GardensTale on November 22, 2020 in Reviews, Doom Metal, Post-Metal, 20 comments

“What? Another album by Empress? But it’s only been like 6 weeks since Premonition dropped! Ah, but you see, sometimes names can have two bands. Rather than the frigid wastes of Vancouver, this Empress is from the slightly less frigid wastes of Gold Coast, Australia. Both dabble in various forms of post-metal, too. And if that doesn’t make for enough confusion, my cleverly modified search for “empress australia” revealed Empress Australia already exists as well, except this one is… a shoe brand. No wonder the band’s Bandcamp and Facebook addresses have to repeat their name twice. So the band is a little difficult to DuckDuckGo, but is it worth the effort?” Crowded doom.

Soulburn – Noa’s D’ark Review

By GardensTale on November 17, 2020 in Reviews, Black Metal, Death Metal, Doom Metal, 22 comments

Originally formed by two members of Asphyx when their band went on hiatus, Soulburn resurfaced under their original moniker in 2014, after a hiatus of their own and a stint carrying the name To The Gallows during which Rogga Johanssen briefly joined the line-up. Nowadays, the cast still includes founding member Eric Daniels, as well as Legion of the Damned guitarist Twan van Geel and Graceless members Remco Kreft and Marc Verhaar. On paper, a team like this should be able to make a pretty killer record.” Death reclamation.

MRTVI – Omniscient Hallucinatory Delusion Review

By GardensTale on November 6, 2020 in Reviews, Black Metal, 29 comments

“For most promos, we have enough frames of reference to make sense of whatever comes on our paths and put it all into some sort of context. MRTVI, on the other hand, is the sort of promo where that frame of mine falls to pieces before my eyes and all that’s left to me is a heartfelt: what?” Delusion and confusion.

Auðn – Vökudraumsins Fangi Review

By GardensTale on October 28, 2020 in Reviews, Atmospheric Black Metal, Black Metal, 33 comments

“It’s one thing to write a review of a returning band you’ve reviewed before. It’s a whole other ballgame to review a returning band that one of the most respected and revered staff members on the site has covered previously. If their review was controversially critical about a popular young artist well on the rise, the pressure only mounts. Not that I disagree with Grymm’s take on Auðn’s last offering. Being relatively fresh to black metal and its myriad offshoots, I hadn’t heard Farvegir Fyrndar before, but on a cursory spin, the unpopular stance that the production ruined an otherwise very solid piece of Icelandic atmo-black rang true with yours truly.” New day, new production.

Defecto – Duality Review

By GardensTale on October 19, 2020 in Reviews, 21 comments

“I’ve seen the question time and time again on any review below a 2.5. “Why even review this?” Well, there’s a bunch of reasons. An important one is, as soon as we pick a promo, we’re honor bound to review it regardless of quality. Oftentimes we don’t even know what we’re getting into, signing the contract over only the band name, album title and genre. A writer may start up a promising promo and have his head in his hands before the first minute is out, knowing he’s on the hook. That wasn’t the case with Defecto; I’ve reviewed the Danes before, to unspectacular result, and fully intended not to subject myself this time. But the band was brought up during our monthly meeting and the Emperor commanded me to pick up where I left off. Drat.” Double broken.

Molassess – Through the Hollow Review

By GardensTale on October 14, 2020 in Reviews, Occult Rock, Psychedelic Rock, 29 comments

“In 2006, siblings Selim and Farida Lemouchi started a psychedelic occult rock band called The Devil’s Blood. In 2013, it collapsed. During its existence, the band drew a loyal following in underground music. Its music balanced retro occult and innovative psych rock. Selim, guitar player and spiritual heart of the band, was uncompromising in his vision, resulting in shows that were as much Satanic rituals as they were concerts, including buckets of pig blood and candles all over the place. In 2014, after struggling with depression for much of his existence, Selim requested permission to die from his mother and sister shortly before taking his own life. 5 years later, Roadburn overlord Walter Hoeijmakers asked the former members of The Devil’s Blood whether they would be interested in creating a commissioned piece of music. Molassess was born.” Blood and life travel strange pathways.

Yatra – All is Lost Review

By GardensTale on October 8, 2020 in Reviews, Doom Metal, Sludge, Stoner Metal, 11 comments

“I reviewed Yatra’s debut early last year to a mixed result. Death Ritual was not without promise, but the stoner doom with blackened snarls didn’t quite live up to what it could have been with slightly tepid songwriting. Naturally, I was curious about how their second album, All is Lost, would fare. A year and a half in current conditions is a pretty fast turnaround; the dangers of rushing lurked in the shadows. And that’s when I found out that All is Lost is, in fact, their third album, after releasing Blood of the Night under a different label in January. 8 months gestation, in 2020?! Who do they think they are, Vardan?” Enjoy ov deep stoner sludge.

Synthetic – Clepsydra: Time Against Infinity Review

By GardensTale on October 1, 2020 in Reviews, Melodic Death Metal, Metalcore, 18 comments

“Well, the promo claimed Clepsydra to be symphonic progressive metal, which did not fill me with hope. Thankfully, this claim was wrong. It’s not very symphonic; it just overuses keyboards a lot. It admittedly has that in common with actual symphonic bands, but at least the synths in Synthetic are more earnest in their synthetic sound rather than trying and failing to imitate an actual orchestra. Nor is this record very progressive at all; most of the songs have a basic verse-chorus structure and rely on direct hooks of a pretty tried and true style. The style in question is more along the lines of metalcore and melodic death, winding up somewhere in between Killswitch Engage, Soilwork and In Flames, just with a lot more keyboards.” Corephobia.

Ambassador – Care Vale Review

By GardensTale on September 22, 2020 in Reviews, Hard Rock, Post-Metal, 47 comments

“Interesting, the grey area between rock and metal. It takes a lot of different shapes, from the classic hard rock proto-metal to the commercialized tough guy semi-nu-metal that still wanted to have radio play.[1. Joke’s on them, the hardest thing on commercial radio these days is fucking Imagine Dragons.] It’s an area that, in one of its many incarnations, has been elemental to most of us in our journey into the depths of our favorite depravity, as a bridge between the socially acceptable and commercially viable on the one end, and metal on the other. Ambassador, a four-piece from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, have a different approach to this uncertain spectrum from those I’ve mentioned.” Sad diplomacy.

The Progressive Souls Collective – Sonic Birth Review

By GardensTale on September 17, 2020 in Reviews, Progressive Metal, 18 comments

“Progressive metal in general can be a contested battleground. The genre and likely every single band within it has had the charge of pretentiousness levied at some point, and not always without reason. It is the terrain of 15 minute epics full of bloat, pseudo-intellectual lyrics that talk a lot and say very little, a small city worth of guest artists, and the paradoxical slavery to tropes first invented over 40 years ago. And there are no worse sinners than progressive supergroups. The Progressive Souls Collective, hereafter TPSC, is sort of mostly a supergroup but not quite.” Tough delivery.