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Minipony – Ajna Review

Minipony – Ajna Review

I’ve listened to a lot of metal. I’ve listened to a lot of very average metal. I’ve listened to some pretty bad metal. Despite all this, I was simply unprepared for Ajna. You see, Ajna is on another level entirely. True story: “Because of Ajna, I could not complete the train journey to work this week. It was halfway through my 5th listen when something cracked. “Why would the Boss Ape force this upon me?” I mused. “Is this a test of my loyalty?” If so, it was a stern examination. The pointless sound effects; the bizarre vocals; the bite-sized, jittery riffs; these all congealed into a force that simply overwhelmed my brain. I could no longer compute, and the only response was to laugh. So, I did. I howled and cackled and coughed up my coffee.” Small horse, big confusion.

Sickseed – Goregeous Review

Sickseed – Goregeous Review

“The downside of being one of the longer-standing writers is a failure to adapt to our new system of promo selection. If you don’t claim promo on the day it becomes available 1 month in advance of release, you’re left with nothing but the dreck and the chaff. For what I can only assume is its “horror metal” tag, and the fact that there’s never been a good “horror metal” release, Sickseed’s Goregeous was one of a great many promo left in the pool for my selection. I won’t pretend there was any design or deliberation in my choosing it; it was a symptom of necessity and my own tardiness.” Freedom from choice.

Viserion – Natural Selection Review

Viserion – Natural Selection Review

“For a relatively young genre, metal has found its fair share of adherents who quickly discovered their musical niche and haven’t budged from that sound. While this applies to both listeners (I’ll proudly wave the tattered OSDM banner until the day I die) and practitioners, it’s most noticeable with new and emerging bands not only harken back to a particular sound, but actively refuse to grow beyond it. Much like the Vogons in the immortal tome A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, these bands refuse to evolve. This may merely be my own bias showing, but this phenomenon seems to be most pronounced amongst the black metal set. Ever committed to all things trv, it would appear these corpse painted cretins believe that metal peaked somewhere around 1993. So when I picked up Viserion‘s debut Natural Selection, I was understandably apprehensive.” Status woe.

These Colors Fade – Contemporary Tragedy Review

These Colors Fade – Contemporary Tragedy Review

“Hello there! Hope you are enjoying the sunny weather in scenic California, and thank you for submitting Contemporary Tragedy, the second full-length (and third release) from your one-man post-hardcore outfit, These Colors Fade. Going from the supplied materials that accompanied your submission, Contemporary Tragedy took over 800 hours to write, perform, produce, and mix. That’s an impressive feat! More and more, we’re seeing talented one-person bands crop up out of the woodwork, going toe-to-toe with the heavyweights in contemporary metal music. With the costs of production and promotion starting to drop considerably, there’s never been an easier time to record, mix, and promote your music.” The color of tragedy.

Tragedian – Seven Dimensions Review

Tragedian – Seven Dimensions Review

“What’s in a name? That which we call a poser by any other word would be unhalled. What’s Tragedian? It is nor fun nor epic nor soaring nor uplifting nor any other part belonging to a power metal band. But a name it is, and a foreboding one still.” Tragicomedy.

Dismal – Quinta Essentia Review

Dismal – Quinta Essentia Review

“It’s very satisfying that in a location where I’ve worked for over 6 years I can still enjoy new experiences. Italy’s Dismal and their new record called Quinta Essentia (Quintessence) represents a number of firsts for me. First time hearing this band; first dual review with a n00b; first album where different resources conflicted as to label; first album where different resources conflicted as to number of releases by the band; first album where my first listen resulted in 3 reviews’ worth of notes. It was all very intriguing to me, least of all the music produced here. The greatest challenge was narrowing my thoughts into a reasonable article. Where to begin?” First rodeos.

Regardless of Me – Black Flowers Blossom Review

Regardless of Me – Black Flowers Blossom Review

“Six years into this gig, and I still largely choose albums from the promo pool by name and/or genre tag. While I like to review a diverse array of sub-genres, it’s tough for me to not pick the low hanging fruit of obscure tags. The prospect of “trance metal” was an enticing one indeed, and it was from this that I selected Italy’s Regardless of Me.” No regard.

Ulveblod – Omnia Mors Aequat Review

Ulveblod – Omnia Mors Aequat Review

“I wanted a black metal/noise hybrid. I figured it was the trvest style out there: the ultimate form of pitch-black atmosphere that could conjure abstractness and bleakness to new heights. While there have been plenty of artists that have tried, like Enbilulugugal, Gnaw Their Tongues, and Abruptum, success has been limited, so I wished upon a star for noisy black metal.” Cut off your noise to spite your face.