1.5

Transcendence – Towards Obscurities Beyond Review

Transcendence – Towards Obscurities Beyond Review

“Riffs are really fucking important. It’s my job around here to write an additional seven hundred-ish words on top of “riffs good” or “riffs bad,” but when it comes to metal music, riffcraft is always my priority. It’s only when the riffs fail to stand out that first impressions require a deeper dig; if the “what” of the music fails to satisfy, perhaps the “why” can provide some solace. And that’s where California’s Transcendence vexes me.” Vex Arcana.

Aborted Fetus – Pyramids of Damnation Review

Aborted Fetus – Pyramids of Damnation Review

“A look at the tactless, tasteless, and obnoxious band name of Aborted Fetus should trigger in the reader a gut instinct that says “yep, this is death metal.” A look at the title of their latest full-length record – Pyramids of Damnation – reveals very little except that Aborted Fetus knows what a “pyramid of damnation” is, and that there’s more than one of said pyramid. Then again, titles that look cool and make no sense like Pyramids of Damnation are as much a staple of death metal as adding “-ectomy” or “-otomy” as a suffix to any given word is to brutal death metal. What’s not a staple of death metal, however, is a sixty-seven-minute record, which is what Aborted Fetus have presented us on Pyramids of Damnation.” Pyramid scheme.

Night Laser – Power to Power Review

Night Laser – Power to Power Review

“Allow me to be upfront with you all. I only took this promo to stop Holdeneye from getting his grubby, overly generous meat mittens on it and awarding it a Skelatorian 4.0 regardless of intrinsic goodism. Such selfless promo blocks are required of the one who bears the title of Lord Protector of AMG’s Metal Cred, and I’m just doing what other mighty heroes from history would do in my stead. It takes a toll though, as Night Laser burns brightly with cheese-tastic awfulness on third album Power to Power.” POWERS outage.

The Vice – White Teeth Rebellion Review

The Vice – White Teeth Rebellion Review

“Genres create expectations. That’s largely their purpose. You categorize music into recognizable sounds and that way you know roughly what sort of sound to expect when a band’s genre or combination thereof is explained to you. Black n’ roll, the combination of black metal’s dark intensity and hard rock’s catchiness and swagger, has a broad range of expectations to operate in, from the icy cold of Satyricon to the incomprehensible party anthems of Kvelertak.” Molar express.

Scars – Predatory Review

Scars – Predatory Review

“Thrash albums should be an hour long. FALSE. Why do bands think that? The latest from Testament is a great example of a recent thrash album that would have been excellent if twenty minutes had been shaved off it. In fact, just last week as the AMG crew hurled insults across the six-foot barriers at each other, one thing we agreed on was that thrash albums need to aim for the 29-minute sweet spot. Also known as the Reign in Blood theorem, it is seemingly impossible for bands to get close to.” Lowering the Scar(s).

The Lightbringer – From The Void To Existence EP Review

The Lightbringer – From The Void To Existence EP Review

From The Void To Existence, like Devil With No Name‘s self-titled, is a conniving little EP that snuck through our Jericho-esque walls to fraternize with the big boys. It also manages to offend two camps in its blend of black metal and power metal: a commute, if you will, between the Realm of Obscurely Kvlt Black Metal and the Vault of Powery Cheese,” Power black attack.

Saints of Death – Ascend to the Throne Review

Saints of Death – Ascend to the Throne Review

“Come on, groove metal. I know you can do it. Elitists tend to treat you as the secondary antagonist of metal’s story, behind only to nu-metal, but between genre founders Pantera and the best bits of Machine Head’s discography, there’s still a lot of potential in this particular sound. Hell, I’ve even enjoyed the occasional DevilDriver when craving musical fast-food, which seems to be considered a heinous crime amongst some.” Groove you wrong.

Dead Carnage – From Hell for Hate Review

Dead Carnage – From Hell for Hate Review

“Some things seem to be just one tweak away from being great. Dead Carnage is an okay band name, but it seems a bit redundant. Isn’t most carnage dead? Better, I think, would be Live Carnage. The image of butchered and bloody bodies, moaning and clinging to their last vestiges of life, seems a lot more brutal to me than any imagery evoked by “Dead Carnage.” But hey, I’m a guy that listens to Goatpenis—a band’s moniker has never stopped me from checking out an album before.” Live undead.