2018

Splendidula – Post Mortem Review

Splendidula – Post Mortem Review

“Coming from the Latin ‘splendidus’, ‘splendid’ is defined—by one (free) online dictionary that this n00b found, anyway—as an adjective meaning ‘magnificent; very impressive.’ Of what relevance is this to Post Mortem, the second album from Splendidula? Quite possibly none but having made the splendid-Splendidula link in my head, I got my hopes up.” Album autopsy.

Outre-Tombe – Nécrovortex [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

Outre-Tombe – Nécrovortex [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

“Everything about this record blares old-school death metal. Look at the cover; it’s timeless metal art. Outre-Tombe is a great name for an old-school death metal band. Nécrovortex is one of the coolest titles of 2018 in any genre. The cards are stacked in Outre-Tombe’s favor, and they squeeze every drop out of the opportunity afforded to them, making one of the best death metal records of 2018. Although it seemed like few people in our regular readership missed this humdinger of a record, giving great death metal the spotlight surely won’t hurt.” Belated gushery.

Rauhnåcht – Unterm Gipfelthron Review

Rauhnåcht – Unterm Gipfelthron Review

“Shit, there’re still albums coming out in 2018? Good ones, too? Yet, with my top ten already complete, it’s easy to write off December. But Madam X‘s watchful eye doesn’t sleep. And thank your lucky stars for that. Because we would have walked right past Rauhnåcht‘s newest release, Unterm Gipfelthron.” Nearly missed.

Them – Manor of the Se7en Gables [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

Them – Manor of the Se7en Gables [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

“I have fond memories of poring over classic spooky stories like Poe’s “The Cask of Amontillado” or “The Tell-Tale Heart” at my grandmother’s house and being repulsed and fascinated with the characters, settings, and actions. I got hooked and read Poe’s short stories over and over. Metal is too gore-obsessed to reliably deliver the classic spooks, save for King Diamond… but he hasn’t put anything out since 2007. Who will deliver good old-fashioned spooky stories through the medium of metal?!” BOO(urns)!

Nekrofilth – Worm Ritual Review

Nekrofilth – Worm Ritual Review

“Metal is all about excess. Be as fast as possible. Be as slow as possible. Or, in Nekrofilth‘s case, be as nasty as possible. Just take the lyrics of “Junkie Cunt,” from the band’s 2013 debut Devil’s Breath: “I want to squeeze your rotten tits/Your curdled cunt gets my cock so fucking hard!” Unless you’re trying to get rid of your in-laws, these aren’t the type of people you’d invite to your Christmas party.” Filthy masses.

Ice War – Manifest Destiny Review

Ice War – Manifest Destiny Review

“Unless your band is Galneryus or Sulphur Aeon, a release date within a week of Christmas is about as suspect as it gets. Ice War, the moniker under which the Canadian solo artist Jo Capitalcide operates, doesn’t dodge the dregs of December either. Ice War’s new platter drops on the cusp of Christmas eve and is about as lousy as you’d expect a one-man traditional metal band to be at this point in the year. I don’t know whether that constitutes a spoiler, but if so, here’s another spoiler for you: the next Adam Sandler movie will be an unfunny comedy in an exotic locale. Some things are just foregone conclusions.” Fabulous disasters.

Lifesick – Swept in Black Review

Lifesick – Swept in Black Review

“Sometimes, I hear a band and wonder if anybody actually listens to them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure plenty of people blast The Acacia Strain while working on their trucks or whatever, but are those people actually listening to the riffs and paying attention to the songwriting, or do they just want something br00tal blasting in the background? I suspect the answer is the latter, and such is my distaste for bands who build their songs solely from breakdowns. By its very nature, a breakdown is supposed to ‘break down’ the song.” Sack beatings and breakdowns.

Yer Metal Is Olde: Nasum – Inhale/Exhale

Yer Metal Is Olde: Nasum – Inhale/Exhale

“Nasum‘s influence on modern grindcore and the entire history of the genre can not be overstated. Across a relatively short recording career, featuring four full length albums, the Swedish legends created an intimidating, high quality body of work that helped propel grindcore into the modern era. Along with other modern innovators like Pig Destroyer, Nasum played a crucial role in raising the genre’s underground profile, without losing an ounce of the white knuckle intensity and raw aggression typical of grind.” It’s all in the grind.

Kill Everything – Scorched Earth [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

Kill Everything – Scorched Earth [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

“Saying something slams so hard that it sounds like getting disemboweled with a chainsaw while being force-fed a live colony of bees is more convincing and appealing than saying that a slam record has a bunch of killer riffs, is well-structured, and is worth listening to. In that spirit, Kill Everything’s debut album Scorched Earth sounds like bungee-jumping with your own intestines after having your skull caved in by a club.” Is this a good thing?