Cherd

Sludge is the word.
Drain Down – Toxic Society Review

Drain Down – Toxic Society Review

Toxic Society, the sophomore full-length from German hardcore/thrash band Drain Down, turns out to be everything I stupidly asked for. Am I angry and aimless enough to pick up what these Teutonic terrors are throwing down? Are you? Join me in the pit for some enthusiastic arm-flailing and high-minded discussion.” Mistakes were made.

Eternal Storm – A Giant Bound to Fall Review

Eternal Storm – A Giant Bound to Fall Review

“I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: unless you make funeral doom, you probably don’t have a great reason for making a 70+ minute metal album. Yes, there are exceptions to every rule, like the Spectral Lore/Mare Cognitum double album a few years back. That one worked because A) the material, against the odds, kicked ass throughout, and B) the concept was to write an album about the whole goddamn solar system. It was cosmic in scale, literally. But for every Wanderers: Astrology of the Nine, there are 10 more Esoctrilihum records that I will never listen to, at this point on principle. In completely unrelated news, Spanish melodeath-ers Eternal Storm grace us this week with their highly anticipated second album, A Giant Bound to Fall. Thankfully, they keep their album length to a reasonable (checks notes)…oh dear.” Giant-sized Storm front.

Presenting Mrs. Ramsbottom’s Second Grade Class Christmas Recital, Starring Tarja, as Described by Liam Collins, Age Seven

Presenting Mrs. Ramsbottom’s Second Grade Class Christmas Recital, Starring Tarja, as Described by Liam Collins, Age Seven

“Hi, I’m Liam. I’m backstage right now because we’re doing a Christmas recital tonight. Everyone in my class is in it except for the Horowitz twins. Ezra and Esther don’t have to for some reason. Our music teacher Mrs. Ramsbottom was supposed to be here too but one of her organs blew up and she had to go to the hospital. It’s called an appendix and I’ve got one inside me too but my Mom says mine is ok and probably won’t blow up. Mrs. Ramsbottom was going to play the piano and we were going to sing but when she got sick we got a substitute teacher. Her name is Miss Tarja.” A night at the school opera.

Convocation – No Dawn for the Caliginous Night Review

Convocation – No Dawn for the Caliginous Night Review

“In the wretched realms of death metal, Finland’s Lauri Laaksonen is a known commodity. After a five-year stint in Sear, LL, as he’s credited on most liner notes, founded the beastly Desolate Shrine in 2010. We here at AMG have for the most part fawned in a most undignified manner over that project’s output. On the strength of that discography alone, LL could hold his head high among his most celebrated death metal contemporaries. But his impact on the genre doesn’t end there. Since 2018, LL has released some of the very finest slabs of demoralizing deathly doom in recent memory through his band Convocation.” Dark days in Finland.

AGLO – Build Fear Review

AGLO – Build Fear Review

“Aaron Osborne is the mastermind behind AGLO, a Star Trek-themed fusion of death doom and sludge more unnerving than that abomination Tuvix. Will his debut full-length Build Fear be ecstatic fan service like the third season of Star Trek: Picard? Or will it be disappointing and confusing like the first two seasons of Star Trek: Picard?” Spock rocking.

Warcrab – The Howling Silence Review

Warcrab – The Howling Silence Review

“Surprise! I know many of you have been patiently waiting for Holdeneye‘s review of the fourth full-length from UK death sludge slingers Warcrab, given how he so shamelessly ran his tongue all over their exoskeleton’s undercarriage when he reviewed their last outing, Damned In Endless Night. Well this time you get me. Don’t worry, Holdy‘s fine. He’s certainly not bound and ball-gagged in my garden shed dressed like Adventure Time’s Finn the Human, slipping in and out of consciousness in a chloroform haze. He was simply busy this week and remembered how much I also enjoyed Warcrab’s last album, so he turned over reviewing duties to yours truly.” Pick the Crab!

Stortregn – Finitude Review

Stortregn – Finitude Review

Stortregn have always been a meloblack band with a tech death heart, but Finitude is a faster, meaner, and more varied beast than ever. The album is tightly wound and asymmetrical, unlike 2021’s Impermanence which counterbalanced the band’s labyrinthine instrumental prowess with nearly cinematic song structures, giving us sweeping epics like “Ghosts of the Past” and “Grand Nexion Abyss.” Many of the band’s signature aesthetics are still intact.” Tech vs. man.

Kadabra – Umbra Review

Kadabra – Umbra Review

Kadabra play a fairly stock standard fuzzed out stoner/psych rock heavily reliant on the 70s for aesthetic direction as well as contemporary revivalists like The Black Angels. Umbra has a bit more terrestrial than cosmic approach, with only a few distorted warping or echo effects, however Kadabra do use electric organ and layered vocals over their earthy guitar grooves.” Big hat, some magic.