feb2016

Mefisto – 2.0.1.6 Review

Mefisto – 2.0.1.6 Review

“What do you get when the length of time between a band’s demo and their first full-length debut is longer than the entire life of the guy writing about it? This review, that’s what. Next, what do you name your record when you release it sixteen years after we all drained our bathtubs because Y2K ended up not shutting down the municipal water supply? 2.0.1.6, if you’re kvlt Swedish band Mefisto.” Y2K was a ploy by the Illuminati!

Hyperion – Seraphical Euphony Review

Hyperion – Seraphical Euphony Review

“Crack a beer and get comfy folks, it’s storytime. Our tale is about a brave group of Swedes who decided to storm the castle of greatness, knowing full well the dangers and hardships they’d face. The lofty standards of age-old records loved worldwide would need to be breached. Our protagonists would need to deftly maneuver within clear and defined stylistic boundaries. These Swedes go by the name Hyperion, and the tome of their triumph is called Seraphical Euphony. Storytime!

Entombed A.D. – Dead Dawn Review

Entombed A.D. – Dead Dawn Review

Entombed A.D. suggests a great return to glory for the Swe-death greats: Entombed is dead, long live Entombed A.D.! When it came out two years ago, Back to the Front was more like Back to the Middle, a good if not workmanlike record that wasn’t offensive but wasn’t the grand comeback the band and record name seemed to imply. Now L.G. Petrov and his A.D. crew are back with Dead Dawn, and only the most naïve of optimists could have possibly expected Left Hand Path II: HM-2 Boogaloo.” Why can’t we just have our little dreams?

Foul Body Autopsy – Perpetuated by Greed EP Review

Foul Body Autopsy – Perpetuated by Greed EP Review

“It doesn’t take an encyclopedic knowledge of heavy metal to figure out where Foul Body Autopsy draw their name from. Which is good, because I certainly don’t have one. In fact, I didn’t even remember “Foul Body Autopsy” was a Necrophagist song until conducting research for this review, and the first time I actually sat down and listened to Muhammed Suicmez’s legendary tech death project was a few days ago when I found myself stuck in an airport terminal for five hours with a dead Kindle. Still, it only took a cursory listen of Onset of Putrefaction to reveal that FBA is far from mere Suicmez worship.” Does the apple fall far from the rotten tree?

Deströyer 666 – Wildfire Review

Deströyer 666 – Wildfire Review

“Let me make my bias clear from the start: Deströyer 666 are my favorite band in the world. Not my favorite black-thrash band, not my favorite metal band, but my favorite band, period. Ever since discovering 2002’s Cold Steel… For an Iron Age, I’ve been a salivating fanboy for the group’s infectious melody, ripping thrash riffs, and triumphant progressions that develop into hooky, memorable songs which – unlike so much other extreme metal out there – never obfuscate themselves in a haze of incomprehensible fury or aimless blasting.” Fanboy Alert! Shelter in place and await further instructions.

Mightiest – SinisTerra Review

Mightiest – SinisTerra Review

“At what point do we call something a comeback? L.L. Cool J seems to think that if someone’s “been here for years” then we are not to refer to whatever they may do as a comeback. Mightiest, a German black metal band, have technically been here for years in the form of releasing scattered demos and EP’s since 1994 and what their promo material tells me was a legendary German gig back in 1997.” Don’t fool with Cool J.

Villainy – Villainy II: Dim Review

Villainy – Villainy II: Dim Review

“Though I have no musical ability, back in high school I used to love plucking random strings on my friend’s Stratocaster knockoff and imagining I was composing an avant-garde interlude for some progressive screamo album.” You know, with an intro like that, I’m pretty sure you’ll end up not trusting this guy’s judgement anyway…