Beloved metal bloggers Angry Metal Guy (A.K.A. AMG) and Steel Druhm (A.K.A. Steely D.) were arrested unexpectedly last night by Interpol agents in a joint operation executed in Sweden and New York. The arrests are connected to an ongoing missing person investigation involving one Happy Metal Guy, a sometimes writer for the AMG website who vanished several years ago under suspicious and troubling circumstances.

In early 2016, police responded to extreme noise terror complaints and found Mr. Happy‘s apartment ransacked, a White Wizzard album nailed to the wall with a bloody knife and the cryptic “No more 5.0s!” smeared on the wall in a substance identified as either blood or barbecue sauce.

News of the arrests come as a shock to many in the metal community, though questions circulated for years as to what became of the one-time contributor and site gadfly.

Reached for comment in a detention center in Sweden, AMG pled his innocence, explaining that the authorities had no objective proof of his involvement, only subjective opinion. He also added that when it comes to harsh police interrogation techniques, less is more.

Upon learning that authorities recovered a sizable amount of back hair from the crime scene, Steel Druhm appeared open to cooperating, telling one detective “I’ll sing like a canary on everyone I’ve known since Kindergarten.” Reliable sources indicate he’s been pointing fingers at most of the AMG staff while detailing their various motives, foibles and chronic overrating issues.

How these stunning developments will impact the day to day operations of is unknown, but they are likely to delay release of the March Record(s) o’ the Month. Stay tuned for developments as details become available.

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