“Undead are the next logical step in “unknown” bands. Undead throw us a small curveball by not referring to any member as anything, not revealing their location, and generally keeping tight-lipped about everything online.” Mystery is in the air and it smells like…death.
“Remember Guitar Hero? Yes, I’m aware it’s 2015, but reach back into the memory vaults for just a second. Somewhere on the screen there’s a crowd pleasure meter that dynamically reacted to how well your performance is going. If you were good, it would stay in green. If you were really bad, it would stay in red, teetering on the edge of total audience disengagement. Being mediocre kept you squarely in yellow.” Are you ready to take on Guitar Hero’s doom edition? Cave of Swimmers think they are.
“Radioactive Vomit exist to fill your ears with filthy and depraved music that will appeal solely to those who are already experienced with extreme metal and how to enjoy it. These Canadians have the subtlety of a morningstar, and their 2012 Witchblood demo stood alongside Revenge’s Scum.Collapse.Eradication as a how-to guide for nailing down disgusting Incantation-influenced black metal.” Well, that escalated quickly.
“Hi, I’m Diabolus in Muzaka. You’ve probably read some of my musings on metal music in this space. I come to you today not just as a reviewer, but as a man who has been affected second-hand by appliance violence. Laugh at the cover or concept here all you like, but having witnessed a close friend’s assault by an appliance gone rogue, I see Killer Refrigerator as selfless visionaries using metal to bring us this message of our pending appliance-driven annihilation.” Honey, that appliance just called me an asshole!
“AMG’s Law of Diminishing Recordings is a cruel mistress. She delivers a cold left hook to the smiling face of over-optimism, reminding us time and time again that in no way does a great record necessitate a great follow-up. Through this we learn the value of cautious optimism, reasonable expectations, and keeping a cool head when looking forward to an upcoming release. In most cases, that’s how I approach new music from a band I’m already excited about. Sulphur Aeon releasing a new record is decidedly not “most cases.”” Watch the oceans. The truth is out there….
“The art of the comeback is tough to master, and the odds are against any band who decides to return to the fold after years of inactivity; the weight of nostalgia, expectations, and respecting an artistic legacy make for a heavy burden. Germany’s Morgoth have returned, bearing the burden to bring the unwashed masses a full LP of death metal after teasing us with two new songs last year on the God is Evil EP.” Everything gets a return, and it’s time for Morgoth to get their just returnage.
“When sitting down to write this review, I managed to confuse where Fulgora gets their namesake from before looking it up. For reasons that may or may not include an increasingly counterproductive sleep schedule, writer’s block, and somehow still being regularly keelhauled for the Alestorm incidents of 2014 (no, I don’t regret it, and yes, I’m still right) I thought these Missouri misery dealers were named after Killer Instinct’s personification of cyborg murder Fulgore instead of the female Ancient Greek personification of lightning, Fulgora.” The Alestorm shaming will never stop.
“What makes old-school swords-and-steel heavy metal great? Is it the loveable cheesiness, the huge riffs we all remember years down the line, or the almost tangible energy that inspires us to headbang, shout along, and makes us feel alive?” I always thought it was the loincloths and fashionable sandals.
“Quality will always trump originality, and bands like TrenchRot and Crypt Sermon embody that truism; the former released the great “let’s play Asphyx and Bolt Thrower”-core monstrosity Necronomic Warfare last year, and the latter recently released an old-school doom album that met with high praises from Steel Druhm. What does this have to do with Unrest? Well, members of TrenchRot and Crypt Sermon (along with USBM band Woe) have decided to grace us with an album of Nasum worship.” Philadelphia may be in the midst of a multi-genre metal renaissance. Sound the Rocky theme and prepare for step running!
“It’s been five years since Norway’s Keep of Kalessin released Reptilian to a ludicrous amount of critical panning stemming from a combination of “The Dragontower” being entered into Eurovision and most critics donning their rose-colored glasses when looking at its two predecessors, Armada and Kolossus.” Still reeling from their Eurovision stunt, KoK is back to reclaim lost territory in Kvltvania.
