Record o’ the Month

Record(s) o’ the Month – July 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – July 2019

On the road to finishing my dissertation, there will be many bumps. Today’s bump? I’m writing the Record(s) o’ the Month for July which robs me of time for completing my real goal. My real goal right now is to pump out 2,500 words a day of lifeless academic text that will suck the joy out of a fascinating topic for readers so that the ancient Blood God Academius, whose grotesque form lives solely upon the sacrificed blood, sweat, tears and writers guilt innocent and naïve graduate students, can be sated.

Record(s) o’ the Month – June 2019?

Record(s) o’ the Month – June 2019?

There’s a really specific reason that the Record(s) o’ the Month are late this month. It’s because I don’t like anything enough to make Record o’ the Month. In the past when this has been the case, I tend to listen to things that people like and let a “democratic” decision happen. We did an extensive vote and came with a lot of options and no consensus. And while the options ranged from the “pretty good” to the “deeply insulting,” I wasn’t overly thrilled about any of them.

Record(s) o’ the Month – May 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – May 2019

“Summer is here, and that means sweaty, miserable n00bs toiling away in the Skull Pits for no pay and even less appreciation. It also means terminally late Record(s) o’ the Month posts. This should come as a surprise to no one. The AMG staff is spread all over kingdom come this time of year, running amok on vacations, non-suspicious sabbaticals, and generally behaving badly.” Sun’s out, pun’s out.

Record(s) o’ the Month – April 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – April 2019

We’d have to ask Sentynel, but I’m pretty sure this is a historically late Record(s) o’ the Month. You’ll forgive me, things have been a bit hectic around the office. Some of that is good and some of it is bad, but the end result is the same: extraordinarily delayed Record(s) o’ the Month. But this month was pretty easy, I didn’t even get much push-back about this—which is a shame, because I like repressing the plebeians. So without further ado, your Record(s) o’ the Month for April of 2019.

Record(s) o’ the Month – March 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – March 2019

“April, normally a time of renewal and hope as Winter slowly falls away to Spring, is also tax month for those living in the United States. That means pouring over inscrutable paperwork, crunching fuzzy numbers and frantically hiding assets. That’s why the Record(s) o’ the Month is tardy, as the entire AMG monkey farm of n00b drones have been chained to calculators and slide rules protecting the fabulous riches of Steel from the tax man’s greedy clutches.” Better late than later.

Record(s) o’ the Month – January 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – January 2019

One month down in 2019 and we’re off to the races. January was by most accounts—excepting the eventual contrarians in the comments section, a relatively disappointing month. After an almost overwhelming and backloaded 2018, the first month of 2019 felt like a pretty tepid start to the year. Fortunately, there were still some diamonds in the rough. So here’s three albums—two which received the reviews they deserved and one which was unfairly maligned—that I think that you should give your consideration from January of 2019.

Record(s) o’ the Month – November 2018

Record(s) o’ the Month – November 2018

“By almost any measure, 2018 has been a pretty solid year for music. November has once again left us with a list of excellent candidates for the best of the month. But while this month, we had some pretty big names put out some pretty big albums that, frankly, lived up to their reputations, I think we need to go a different direction. So damn the plebs and the lowest common denominators, here’s your Record o’ the Month!” Trench feet.

Angry Metal Guy’s Record(s) o’ the Month – October 2018

Angry Metal Guy’s Record(s) o’ the Month – October 2018

October has been a busy month here at the AMG offices. With the n00bcrew in full swing and a harried management team enforcing the new dresscode—yes, you have to wear trousers at work!—October has been busy. And it has been weird. While there were lots of records that people liked, there wasn’t a ton that the staff agreed on. Fortunately, there’s only one Opinion that’s Very Important™ around here: mine! And so, with all the narcissistic excess of a guy who started and runs an eponymous blog, I present to you three albums from October of 2018—a month where a single release date (the 26th) had 126 metal albums released—that I have declared the month’s very best.

Record(s) o’ the Month – September 2018

Record(s) o’ the Month – September 2018

“Twenty-eighteen is shaping up to be a remarkable year. September alone had nearly a dozen records that staff writers wanted to nominate for the Record o’ the Month. I can say with certainty, having been at this for a while, that few months have been as contentious behind closed doors at Angry Metal Guy Amalgamated Blogworks, LLC. Dozens of verbal spats escalated quickly into an Anchor Man-like brawl, featuring fighters lining up to shout each other down about Voivod‘s legacy, reviews written by fanboys, and Satan‘s novelty before someone—possibly Dr. Fisting—attacked Steel Druhm with a trident. After I single-handedly dispatched the opposition to avenge Major General Steely D, however, it was clear that there could only be one choice for September’s Record o’ the Month.” What’s the best soundtrack for a backstreet brawl among metal reviewers?