July was a crazy month here at Angry Metal Guy studios. Not only did we have our best day ever (again), but we all agreed on what should be the Record o’ the Month for the first time in a very, very long time. There was little self-flagellation or—as the case usually is—n00b-flagellation. Instead, we all gathered around the fact that Angry Metal Guy‘s word is law. It’s nice when that’s the case, it makes a guy want to post the Record(s) o’ the Month a mite earlier than usual.
“Summer is a time when thoughts inevitably turn to love, sun worshipping, cold beers and good friends. Maybe that’s why the AMG staff was so egregiously delinquent with their Record(s) o’ the Month selections for June. More likely it’s because they’re all a bunch of slack-jawed yokels with the work ethic of a entitled Siamese cat.” The summer is here but the AMG staff is not, so forgive the lateness of this lot.
“It’s good to be Angry Metal Guy. Sure, there are some downsides—mostly the hate mail I get from people who don’t realize that we actually have multiple writers, so I don’t simultaneously hate and love black metal, grindcore, power metal, or anything -core—but mostly there are upsides.”
“April was a good month for metal with a few firebombs of musical greatness peppered throughout like radioactive rainbow sprinkles from Hell. It was also a month where the AMG staff bickered, fussed and feuded more than usual over what was good, great and garbage. Some albums were way over-hyped, perhaps others were even overrated (gasp!), and opinions were more plentiful than assclowns at a Gathering of the Juggalos.”
Ok, this is getting fucking ridiculous. It’s actually kind of ironic that this has taken as long as it has taken to get me to the place where I’m putting up the Record(s) o’ the Month for March at the very end of April, because March 2015 is probably the best month for music that I can think of in ages. The quality of records released in March of 2015 could practically produce half of my Top 10(ish) of 2015, and that’s not even a joke. Going even further, this is one of the most difficult choices that I have had to make for Record(s) o’ the Month, because the best albums of the month are really close. And while indecision is not the reason this took so long—you can blame my job which is too much for a single person—it certainly played a minor role. But without further ado, I present to you the Record o’ the Month for March, 2015.
“Like a new year’s resolution gone completely to hell, you’ll notice that the Record o’ the Month for February is getting posted nearly 3/4 of the way through the month by a man covered in Oreo ice cream and smelling strongly of gin. For that I say: c’mon, it’s just like old times! Why all the whining? You know I love you guys. I can change, I swear! No really, it won’t be like this next time, I promise!” As a humble offering, Angry Metal Guy offers up Record(s) o’ the Month.
Now that the Jørnbellion has been crushed, Angry Metal Guy can finally get around to doing what he does best: telling you what to listen to. So here’s AngryMetalGuy.com’s very first Record(s) o’ the Month for 2015 and you’ll notice that they’re even (gasp) on time! Come, take a gander, and find out why your favorite album of the month didn’t make our list.
“The Year of Our Angry Overlord 2014 has been a crazy ride. One year ago this week I was finishing up one of the most stressful terms of my entire life, and this year has been a rush of teaching prep, reading, researching, and “OMFG.” You have certainly noticed that AngryMetalGuy.com has been pretty short one Angry Metal Guy in 2014, and that’s been tough for everyone involved I’m sure.” In this massive post Angry Metal Guy reflects on 2014, ranks a bunch of records, and is waiting prepared with his flamethrower for when the whine hits the fan.
November follows up an October that was pretty phat in terms of the number of phat ass records that dropped on our unsuspecting, and largely also phat, asses. And while 2014 has been an extremely up-and-down year for me, November has produced what I think are the year’s most consistent albums across the board. So while I can be sassy about the lateness of this post, or the ways in which Steel Druhm‘s heavy metal credibility is in constant question due to his love of Jørn, I almost feel like that downplays what an extremely good month for heavy metal November really was. So let me just get right down to it. The Record o’ the Month for November was…
“Here at Angry Metal Guy Dictatorship Services Ltd., we strive for self-parody. That’s why we continue to push the Record(s) o’ the Month further and further back. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it’s not even worth posting Record(s) o’ the Month until regular readers begin whining in the comments of reviews they don’t care about that there isn’t a Record o’ the Month post for whatever month. This is usually followed by one going up and then said persons complaining that their favorite record isn’t included, but that’s irrelevant! The point is that we live to fulfill such functions and to fight to lose all the credibility and dependability we’ve continued to build in spite of all our best efforts!” What got Record o’ the Month? Click and find out, good sir or madam!
