Twas the night before Christmas, when all through AMG’s office,
Not a writer was stirring, not even Noctus!
The stockings were all hung from the spheres with care,
In the hopes that Krampus soon would be there.
The newbies were nestled all cold in their cells,
While visions of free promos danced in their skulls.
When out in the alley there arose such a clatter,
AMG sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
When what to his wondering eyes did appear,
But a metallic sleigh(er!) and eight mutant reindeer.
With a dashing driver, wearing a moustache for porn,
AMG knew right away… it must be Saint Jorn!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings with heavy metal perks.
He left Jorn Does Dio Dracula CDs and before you could say boo,
He gave them all bracelets saying “What Would Jorn Do?”
He then sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a nuclear missile.
But AMG heard him exclaim as he rocked into the night,
“Happy Jornmas to all, and enjoy of deep good night!”
From the AMG family to yours, have a happy, safe and very metal Christmas. And if you feel you can’t stand another candy-coated holiday song, we’ve got you covered: