“Starting your promo blurb off with “Horror ‘n gore connoisseurs, Bone Gnawer….” will catch my eye. Going on to mention that the band is the brainchild of death metal legend Kam Lee (The Grotesquery, ex-Massacre, ex-Denial Fiend) that’s a great way to keep me reading.” Madam X likes cookouts…and cannibalism.
“Joke bands have never really been my thing. While I love groups like Cannabis Corpse and find their puns chuckle-worthy, it’s the riffs, not the mildly amusing weed references, that keep me coming back. That said, when an album called Goatgrind by Germany’s Milking the Goatmachine showed up in the AngryMetal promo list, I made a special exception.” Don’t ask him why.
“Anyone passingly familiar with the Chicago metal scene in the past few years will have at some point encountered Immortal Bird. In Dr. Fisting and my neck of the woods, they’re one of the better groups to grace the dingy ex-speakeasies and frostbitten holes-in-the-wall. Their tight live performances do their sludgy, blackened death metal great justice and a full-length release has been awaited for a while in la casa de Kronos.” La casa de Kronos has a big old birdbath.
“Prepare for a journey into a colossal hole, into the deepest chasm, into a cavern of fetid stench and ooze. Bet you thought I was going to make a “yer mom” joke there didn’t you? ” Is there any better place to listen to nasty death metal?
“If you’re a trve olde fan of AMG, you probably remember when the scores used to be at the top of the review alongside an amusing blurb. While I prefer the current format, it’s moments like these where I miss the ways of olde because our editors would’ve had a field day with Boston metal band Dysentery’s latest record Fragments.” Yes, yes we would.
“Just one look at the cover of Cut Up’s Forensic Nightmares will tell you pretty much everything there is to know about the music hidden beneath it. What else could a cool depiction of a disassembled human body represent other than some cool, old school death metal?” Cover o’ the Year? Maybe.
“Looking at my calendar whilst putting my finishing touches on this review, it’s one day after the official release date of Jungle Rot’s latest record Order Shall Prevail and the digital presses have ceased for the day. Some slight lateness matters little; the album’s been up for streaming, and those interested have doubtlessly heard it already and those uninterested have continued not to care one iota about its existence. Jungle Rot produces a specific type of music that caters solely to their established audience, and Order Shall Prevail doesn’t mess with the formula.” The lords of Neanderthal death are back, if you care.
“From Vardan to Valdur, the jump doesn’t seem huge from a naming perspective, but in terms of what the two bands offer, the chasm couldn’t be wider. Hailing from a small mountain town in the beating heart of the Sierra Mountains where the Death Valley desert meets Mt. Whitney, Valdur drew its first rattling breath back in 2005 with a short independently released demo. What I can tell you is that if you go all fanboy over Bathory’s The Return… then Pathetic Scum could be the return you’ve been waiting for.” American Bathory? That sounds like a great movie title.
“Cosmic Horrors is a raw and rudimentary 12-minute EP by Nekromanteion. A short blast of Bolivian blackened death, with a brand which doesn’t exactly squeal innovation. But that’s what some bands are for: fleshing out over-saturated genres which are in dire need of more newcomers contributing their feces to the tidal wave of metal excrement. That’s not to say that Nekromanteion is bad, but there is certainly is a lot of crap floating out there and they merely attempt to execute the bog-standard very well. Is it possible that they can rise above the murky deluge like a surfer-dude Nergal?” Come and ride the poo tide!
“To pilfer a phrase from the revered postmodern philosopher Christopher B. Bridges, “there’s something wrong if you can’t stand still.” If his words are to be taken at face value, Germany’s Thornesbreed must have sensed a problem in their sound. Consisting of competent but unexciting death metal, their 2003 debut The Splendour of the Repellent was followed up eight years later in 2011 by the 273.15 Degrees Below Freezing EP, which can, for the sake of expediency, be described as “Profanatica but not as good.” 2015 sees the band releasing their second full-length in the form of the enigmatically titled GTRD, marking another step in the band’s perpetual musical wanderings.” Wandering, meandering and change for change’s sake. Is that a recipe for success?
