Exmortus

Paladin – Ascension Review

Paladin – Ascension Review

“In my early days of metal fandom, there was a period of roughly two years – spanning from the time I stumbled upon DragonForce,‘s Inhuman Rampage to when I began exploring Darkthrone‘s discography – where I listened to nothing except for power metal and thrash. During this period, as I worked on my sloppy renditions of “Eagle Fly Free” and “Battery” on a cheap Yamaha electric guitar my parents picked up at a department store, I had an epiphany: why the fuck hasn’t anyone mashed up the two best genres in the world?” One mash, coming up!

Moonshield – The Warband [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

Moonshield – The Warband [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

“As is always the case with Things You Might Have Missed, you know how this ends. In the sake of forwardness, The Warband fucking rips. Moonshield would know a thing or two about that; forwardness is their greatest quality. For as often as we hear about bands giving no fucks, truly seeing one do whatever they want is as rare as, well, a real human doing whatever they want. But in meshing true history and Arthurian lore, melodizing an genre known for the opposite, and casually utilizing something as niche as chiptune like they heard of it on I Love the 80s, The Warband can only be a product of Moonshield doing what comes natural. No wonder it’s so easy to love.” Do your own thing (unless it’s LARPing).

Hatchet – Dying to Exist Review

Hatchet – Dying to Exist Review

“The best metal is not purely contemplative music, but the music of action that’s worth attention. The kinetic element of metal is present in the energetic rhythms and soaring harmonies, through the murk and the ice, in the slam and the breakdown; it’s baked into the idea of heaviness itself. This music makes those who get it move; we mosh, we furiously bang our heads, throw up the horns, or play an air instrument. The gut feeling that good metal gives me makes me need to do something: have a lively night with friends, furiously scribble a review draft, play an instrument, work out, or even just pace about and enjoy the music.” Chopping spree!

Corrective Measures: Angry Metal Guy’s Stack o’ Shame Edition

Corrective Measures: Angry Metal Guy’s Stack o’ Shame Edition

“Like with video games or books, one’s “Stack o’ Shame” is the stuff one intends to do but has not been able to do for one reason or another. These reviews are all too late to write full 600-800 word reviews for. On the other hand, I am going to be way too busy this winter to be able to handle writing a bunch of TYMHM. So, I am invoking my right to rule through this (hopefully one-off) post that rounds up some stuff that I fully intended to review and didn’t. So by ways of an apology to both you, the readers, and the albums in my Stack o’ Shame, I bring you some angry, metal blurbs. Mea culpa.” Sometimes sorry is enough.

Exmortus – Ride Forth Review

Exmortus – Ride Forth Review

“California’s own technical thrash metallers, are a band who does everything I love in metal. They write fast songs, packed with frantic energy and rarely pushing the 5 minute mark. Their guitar work is tight, melodic, and classically influenced. Ride Forth, which drops on January 8th from Prosthetic Records, is an album that goes from zero to 90 in a split second and never drops in intensity as it pounds through nine tracks of palm-muted, staccato licks, arpeggios galore, and non-stop double-kick ass kicking (all while doing it for the Horde!).” Well, that sounds promising. But everyone knows that things are never this simple with Angry Metal Guy.