What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a goat? If you guessed “39 minutes of barbaric blackened death metal,” congratulations and welcome to a world where the only thing more bestial than the music is the sexual activity it describes. This Portland trio formed in 2009 and have been peddling their depravity in the underground with a couple prior splits and EPs, most notably 2013’s Slave Bitch of the Black Ram Master (which, if the artwork is any indication, may actually be using ‘ram’ as a verb). Pestilential Rites of Infernal Fornication is the band’s debut full-length, and it makes no attempt to halt the NSFW onslaught that has earned them previous comparisons to Blasphemy, Diocletian, and of course, Archgoat. Now I know you’ve been ogling that cover art this whole time, so put that red rocket away until the next full moon and let’s explore just what Weregoat have to offer.

If you’re at all familiar with the bands name-dropped above, the sonic foundation of Rites should come as no surprise. This is music whose sound is smoldering and bone-dry, balancing inflammatory riffing with garbled, animalistic rasps produced by one ‘Nocturnal Hellfuker.’ It may come as a shock, but there are also blastbeats on this album. ‘Bludgeoning’ and ‘punishing’ are two oft-used adjectives in this subgenre, and drummer ‘Sadoseducer’ definitely does them justice by pummeling every piece of his kit like it stole his bubble gum and slept with his girlfriend. Indeed, after the three minutes of battering opener “Goatlust Invocation,” I think I know exactly what I’m in for with Rites, and it’s nothing that’ll get my willy stiff anytime soon.

And yet amidst the aural abuse, a level of nuance and variety begin to develop that is frankly astonishing given the record’s depraved themes. Part of it is the fearsome and perverse atmosphere that Weregoat conjure, but it goes beyond that. The guitar-work of axeman ‘Lecherous Agressor’ is downright maniacal, rejecting downtuned murk in favor of discernible riffs and whipping tremolos that lash out like the salacious tongue of that horny lycanthrope up there on the cover. Early highlight “Osculum Infame” stands out for its frantic and thrashy main riff, while follow-up “Molested by Evil” features skewered notes that sound like one of Robert Vigna’s warped Immolation melodies played three times fast. The album’s crown jewel, however, is easily “At Full Moon She Bleeds,” which charges into a refrain comprised of descending black metal riffs followed by a scream of the track title, after which a set of twisted notes explode forth with a speed that would make even Origin question their abilities.

Even the drumming contributes to the impact. Aforementioned “Molested” is built around a slow galloping groove that’s downright infectious, while “Screaming Forth…”1 barrels along with repeated staccato chords that recall the primal nature of Revenge. “Forked Tongue Lashes between the Virgin’s Thighs” and “As Cold As the Devil’s Seed” add variety by slowing the tempo, the former with its doomy opening and the latter with its ambling, waltzy pace. Embellished by wild solos that squeal and squawk with just a hint of melodic flourish, this is not a record with obvious flaws. In fact, my biggest complaints about Rites are things that can be said about almost any album in this subgenre: the battering does feel a bit monotonous after a while, and the riffs don’t always feel entirely distinct from one another.

Still, when one can look at the tracklist and remember at least one great idea from almost every song, you know you have a winner. Part of it may be the pedigree: in addition to Weregoat these three gents have performed in several other bands in the Portland area and beyond, including Engorged, Sempiternal Dusk, Nightfell, and Ritual Necromancy. Point being, they seem to understand this subgenre is more than just bashing downtuned chords until you can’t tell the difference between your garbage disposal and the new Teitanblood album. The result is a record that’s devilishly fun and even catchy, not to mention crafted with more care than its artwork of an oversexed goat-man would suggest. For those not put off by the sound or imagery, you may find Weregoat awakens a part of you that you didn’t know was there. A hairy and sexually-depraved part maybe, but no one said blackened death metal was supposed to be pretty.


Rating: 3.5/5.0
DR: 6 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Labels: Iron Bonehead Productions | Parasitic Records | Vault of Dried Bones
Website: facebook.com/weregoat
Releases Worldwide: June 30th, 2017

Show 1 footnote

  1. Full title: “Screaming Forth Endless Blasphemies and Emitting Foul Seed upon the Pitiful Face of Benevolence.” Whew.

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  • Morgoth

    That cover art. That is one dedicated weregoat, goating it on, despite the floor is a rather uncomfortable place to do it and they’re being observed by six dudes in robes.
    But you’ve goat to do what you’ve goat to do…

    • Dagoth_RAC

      Lots of candles, too. Singed Weregoat fur is a definite risk.

      • Jason

        The romantic ambience is worth the risk.

      • Juan Manuel Pinto Guerra

        You talked about risk and made me wonder if Mr. Weregoat there is wearing a condom…

    • Mephisto

      How did you know it’s six…? A wait, you were there…!? Damn, now you made me look up close…

    • R.Daneel Olivaw
    • HeavyMetalHamster

      New valentine’s day concept card for Hallmark? ?

    • Eli Valcik

      6 robe dudes plus the one guy taking the picture.

    • Wilhelm

      Notice her muscular thighs? I guess you need to be in shape for taking that on.

      • Morgoth

        Seems like she can’t goat enough!

  • Spread Wide & Panic

    Blind buy based on album cover alone.

    • Eli Valcik

      That’s how I discovered their bandcamp.

    • Juan Manuel Pinto Guerra

      Don’t open the door if you hear sirens outside, it’s the Perv Squad looking for you! ;)

  • Carlos Marrickvillian

    I think it’s nice that Weregoat lit some candles for his lover.
    Interesting fact, what you can’t tell from a picture is that Enya is playing in the background and that there is a strong smell of scented candles.

    • André Snyde Lopes

      A real gentleman, the Weregoat. They don’t make them like that anymore…

    • RuySan

      Even weregoats know that Enya is a safe choice on every occasion.

      Even around creepy robed dudes which i’m sure are jerking off

  • Ivan E. Rection

    On tour now with VampChicken and Frankenpig.

  • Ferrous Beuller

    Oh were-goats just wanna have fu-un…

  • Equilux

    Oh just don’t judge her…I am sure we all woke up in strange situations after a long night out.

    • Mephisto

      Honestly, just chillin’ in this jazzy lounge bar, next thing you know, you wake up and…

  • Panagiotis Krokidas

    Well, they are not a symphonic power band, I presume. Let me read the review to be sure.

  • GardensTale

    I should warn you, the above review is NSFW.

  • Brutalist_Receptacle

    MY BAND IS CALLED ANAL GOATWITCH RAPER

    • Mollusc

      Definitely looks like he’s put it up her bum.

    • Thatguy

      Why am I not surprised?

      • Brutalist_Receptacle

        BECAUSE YOURE MY BASSIST?

        • Thatguy

          That’s the gig for me!

    • Nukenado

      It better be blackened pornodeath.
      If the genre doesn’t exist, invent it!

      • Dagoth_RAC

        It exists. Corollary of Rule 34.

  • Jae_Aytch

    Anyone remember the band Bestial Warlust? This seems like a modern extension.

  • Hammersmith

    At first, Karen was apprehensive to swipe right on a Weregoat, but as first dates go, it couldn’t have gone better.

  • hallowed

    All work and no foreplay.

  • Planex

    Is the spark just not there anymore? Has it just seemed dull since the third kid? Surprise her by kidnapping her to a satanic temple and dressing up as a goat person!

  • SelfIndulgence

    I’d ask for some unicorning on the band photo, but you people may go to far.

  • rumour_control

    Glorious:
    “…this subgenre is more than just bashing downtuned chords until you can’t tell the difference between your garbage disposal and the new Teitanblood album.”

  • Marc Rikmenspoel

    I keep thinking of Bill Hicks’s Goatboy routine. “Goatboy can make a bell go off in your stomach…” “How?” “Heh heh heh…” The cover earns this a listen, later today when I have more time.

  • Flyingguillotine

    The embedded song is fucking great.

  • Juan Manuel Pinto Guerra

    These guys do an extremely faithful cover of “Careless Whisper” right? I’m just guessing based on that cover because “Careless Whisper” is what I hear in my mind when I see it.

  • Juan Manuel Pinto Guerra

    These guys are from Portland? One of the seven gates to Hell must be there, for sure.

  • Reese Burns

    I like how when you were talking about the drumming, you equate having bubblegum stolen to having your girlfriend cheat on you. Gave me a genuine laugh.

  • Nukenado

    Genuinely enjoyed the embed track.

  • Rodrigo Soto

    I actually learned a few new words with this review. Thanks.

  • Matt slatz

    It’s amazing the costume Bill Cosby has to wear in order to get some without being worried about lawsuits, criminal trials etc..

  • Tofu muncher

    Weird. Just last night–that’s less than 12 hours ago–I just saw The Antichrist/The Tempter (1974), whose clips were featured in the embedded video.

  • lennymccall

    This is straight chaos incarnate right here and I love it real hard.
    This is immediately going on my list of top records this year. And any list I may make of best covers obvs…

    • lennymccall

      I missed where it mentions Revenge the first time I read through. After listening to it them Conquer and Diocletian came right to mind.
      Now I see they did a split with Diocletian so I’m right there on the same track I should be it seems.

  • John Mosley

    So baaaaadaaaaaass.