“Twenty-seventeen is turning out to be the year of thrash. On top of Kreator and Overkill, there’re new releases from Havok, Warbringer, Power Trip and, later this year, War Curse and Reign of Fury. In between all that, we also get a contribution from Australia’s own Harlott.” Thrash now comes with an extra “T” for added toughness.
“If you read my review for Falls of Rauros’ 2014 release, Believe in No Coming Shore, the score may have surprised you. How could someone sound so “impatient” with an album still give it a 3.5/5.0?” Chronic Hyper Overrating Disorder Epidemic (C.H.O.D.E.), perhaps?
“Life’s a wild, fucking adventure that’s about as satisfying as it is annoying. For every high, there’s a massive low. For every milestone, there’s a setback. For every breakthrough, there are countless failures. Sometimes it gets to the point where all you remember from one day to the next is the bullshit. What does this have to do with Stormhammer and their sixth LP Welcome to the End? A hell of a lot.” Life is pain and power metal can be too.
“A good concept album is hard to come by these days. When one does rear its ugly head, it seems to be the product of another band seeking the blessings of Helloween, Iced Earth, or Blind Guardian. Which isn’t all bad, considering some of my favorite concepts records are the American and German kind. What this means, though, is most of the concepts records I think of (except for King Diamond, of course) are of the power metal variety. What I don’t think of when I think concept record is doom metal; especially an independent doom metal outfit from North Carolina.” Skulthor who?? He’s not here, come back later.
“I still remember the day I ventured into the world of Swedish melodic death metal. The time, the mood, the buying of so many albums. There was At the Gates’s Slaughter of the Soul, Dark Tranquillity’s Projector and Damage Done, In Flames’ Jester Race and Clayman, The Haunted’s debut and Made Me Do It, and Amon Amarth’s Fate of Norns. All purchased and consumed within weeks of each other. I was fucking hooked—ignoring reason (and my food budget) to please my insatiable craving for everything this genre had to offer.” The Left Hand Path has many toll booths.
“Though I live in quasi-bear country, I had no idea “bear mace” was a thing until I started researching Bear Mace (the band). While I know encounters with real-life Pooh bears are no laughing matter, there’s something comical about whipping out a can of bear mace to fend off a charging Grizzly. I mean, seriously, what are the odds that everything is going to end well?” You have the bear minimum chance of success.
“It’s no secret: I love me some black metal. But, even I, have gotten tired of every other album we review being a product of the genre. And none of it is good. So, it’s no surprise that I have to ignore a large portion of the releases that sneak by our oh-my-god-I’m-so-sick-of-black-metal filters. Again, I love the genre and still listen to way more black metal than even the sickest doctor would dare prescribe. But many of the new black metal outfits just don’t do it for me.” Feel like you’re drowning in excessive blackness?
“Remember the good old days when thrash spoke to every unhappy degenerate forced to take a piss as Big Brother stood by watching? It was a time when metalheads rose to the occasion, spoke to people better than even our greatest orators, and made a stand against crooked politicians. It was a time when being a rebel stood for something and tearing each other apart in circle pits and walls-of-death was the greatest form of therapy.” Some gave some, Doc gave more.
“Our readers seem to know our tastes better than we do. So, it’s probably not surprising to anyone that I’m reviewing (and loving) the new Mors Principium Est record. Especially when you compare it to my top picks of 2016. This is my bread ‘n’ butter and MPE’s crushing melodeath (from Inhumanity to their new record, Embers of a Dying World) is as much a part of me as my gray hair.” Thrash that olde gray head, he said.
“Before we begin, there is something that needs saying: Marta Gabriel kicks ass. And not because of Crystal Viper’s newest album, Queen of the Witches. No, she’s ruled since her first note on 2007’s The Curse of Crystal Viper. This may not be news to Viper fans, but someone needed to put it in writing.” And the Doctor is just the Medical Deviate to do it!
