Massacre Records

Goblins Blade – Of Angels and Snakes Review

Goblins Blade – Of Angels and Snakes Review

“I don’t know what prompted me to grab this debut album from Goblins Blade. It could be that I was sick of all the prog I listened to this month. It could be that I wanted to save the world from another Holdeneye 4.0. Or it could be that the lack of an apostrophe in this band name made me cringe enough to want to write about it. Regardless, here we sit with my first power metal review of the year, and with promo blurb name drops like Judas Priest and Metal Church, I am cautiously optimistic.” The problem with goblins.

Assassin – Bestia Immundis Review

Assassin – Bestia Immundis Review

“Those who know me barely at all or better can confirm that I will listen to anything. Indiscriminately. Without hesitation. Unless it’s thrash metal or doom metal or speed metal. With these three subgenres of my beloved I am picky, who knows why. Assassin belong to the thrash metal category. Established in 1984 under their current moniker (they spent one or two years under the name Satanica), Assassin only have a few titles under their bullet belt. This is due to a breakup in 1989, but after reuniting in 2002 the band has released material steadily every few years or so.” Old dogs, old tricks.

Ereley – Diablerie Review

Ereley – Diablerie Review

“I kind of forgot about Fear Factor for a while there. I can give no particular reason for it, they simply slipped out of my mind and slunk through the front door, down the stairs, into the street. But a band with such a unique sound was bound to return, at least in doppelganger form, burrowing back into my head. It took a minute to get my thoughts in order, but after mentally crossing out Godflesh, I knew who Ereley were pushing back into my brain. It wasn’t the pure stuff though.” Strange bedfellows.

Horrizon – World of Pain Review

Horrizon – World of Pain Review

“One of the earliest things I’ve learned in my short tenure working with these angriest of metal men is how difficult describing music actually is. Scholars throughout time have worked hard to remedy this situation by giving us the hallowed name drop, and venerated genre tags, that we might use few words to convey great meaning. And yet, these still often fall sadly short of describing the actual phenomena we experience. I could tell you, for instance, that the music of World of Pain, the third full-length output from the German band Horrizon.” When words fail.

Stormwarrior – Norsemen Review

Stormwarrior – Norsemen Review

“Aeons ago, long before I answered the casting call to write for this prestigious hostile work environment or had even commented on a review, I was but a reader and lurker of the site. Even then, I imagined that I might one day find my name written upon the sacred digital stone of AMG’s “About” tab. I fancied that I might form an inseparable bond with one Swordborn, the site’s apparent resident cheese custodian. In my fantasies, we’d frolic together through meadows like metal Cupids, firing 4.0’s and 4.5’s at power metal albums all willy nilly, laughing all the while.” Oh, so this is one of those fanfics.

Coronatus – The Eminence of Nature Review

Coronatus – The Eminence of Nature Review

The Eminence of Nature is Coronatus‘ ninth studio album. Before claiming this album as my own for review, I performed my usual quick search on the AMG site to see which one of my coworkers was historically responsible for dishing out either love or distaste in response to Coronatus‘ eight other albums. Had to be either Twelve or TheKenWord given their public and overzealous love of the cheesiest of the symphonic metals. I was pleasantly surprised to see “No results for ‘Coronatus’ Try another search?” pop up on my screen. Eight albums and not one was covered by AMG?!” Bad omens.

Cathubodua – Continuum Review

Cathubodua – Continuum Review

“Fucking fuck you fucking all, you fuck fucking fucks. I absolutely fucking hate everyone right now and I blame each and every one of you miserable shits. I suppose I could blame Steel, him having personally assigned me to the nightmare which I must shortly relive, but I blame you. You, ‘dear’ ‘read’-er, are why we do the over worded and under think-ed things that we do, and to the best of my knowledge I have never hurt any of you enough to owe anyone the undertaking that was Continuum, an album I’ll be dedicating my life and liver to erasing the memory of.” Powers.

Negator – Vnitas Pvritas Existentia Review

Negator – Vnitas Pvritas Existentia Review

“You know that feeling when you’ve entrusted someone you don’t know to do a job, and you realize early on that they are capable and competent and that, for this particular task at least, you don’t have to worry? Listening to Negator’s latest effort, Vnitas Pvritas Existensia, is a lot like that. Within the first 5 minutes, you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into: furious, no-nonsense Germanic, occult black metal (with a distinct paucity of U’s in the song titles).” Goats til Sunday!

Ivory Tower – Stronger Review

Ivory Tower – Stronger Review

“I stumbled across Beyond the Stars, the sophomore outing by unsung German prog metallers, Ivory Tower. Though they weren’t doing anything Dream Theater hadn’t done 500 times bigger and with more drum solos, there was something oddly endearing and earnest about the band’s material. I never saw or heard about another release from them until Stronger bobbed up in the promo bin unexpectedly. I doubted it was even the same band, but it is indeed.” Swole spire.

Illdisposed – Reveal Your Soul for the Dead Review

Illdisposed – Reveal Your Soul for the Dead Review

“Back in my younger years, I played in a little local band that was glorified Obituary-core. I had no delusions of grandeur, unless “grandeur” was playing at seedy bars for beer money some weekends. It was fun, and it was what I wanted to write and play at the time. Recently, before seeing Iron Maiden for the fourth time, my friend – who was in the old band for a spell – said that if he started another band, he’d want it to be Kataklysm 2.0. He quickly corrected himself and said it would be Kataklysm 0.9, as there was no way to beat Kataklysm at their own game. This was a somewhat unfortunate development – I’d love to play death metal with my friend again, but Kataklysm 0.9 already exists in the form of Danish death metal band Illdisposed.” Math is hard.