What happens when we embed an AMG staffer at the Graspop metal festival in Belgium? Heavy drinking and strong takes happen.
GardensTale
Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.
Smokey Mirror – Smokey Mirror Review
“Ah, the self-titled debut. Always a good start to your legacy as a new band. Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath are the obvious examples, but it remains a popular choice well into this century as evidenced by the legendary Taylor Swift. It’s not enough to carve out a legacy on its own though. A proper label goes a long way to rise above the middling plebs, and Smokey Mirror comes out strong with the backing of Rise Above Records. All the ducks are in a row for these Texan proto-metal newbies.” Smoke and RAWK.
DevilDriver – Dealing with Demons vol. II Review
“DevilDriver is not the most popular band with dyed-in-the-wool metalheads. Founded by Dez Fafara after the merciful death of Coal Chamber, this outfit embodies “you’ll grow out of it.” Core screams that aren’t quite growls, lyrics full of nonspecific angst and anger that appeal to teenagers, chug-laden straightforward riffs and simple solos. The Hot Topic crowd goes wild. But as such, it has been an important gateway band to many, and in my opinion, one of the few with redeeming qualities.” On the road again.
Haliphron – Prey Review
“Angry Metal Guy, Inc. is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a paradox, like the world’s most mystifying turbriskafil. We both overrate and underrate every single record, according to our commentariat, and we are especially harsh and/or ass-kissing on commercially successful bands. But Arch Enemy has been a common enemy for years now. The condemnation of metal’s blandest headliner is practically uniform; the strongest defense on my last review of theirs amounted to a lone meek “Well I didn’t think it was that bad…” But in the interest of science, it behooves us to check on a control group. Another melodic death metal band with experienced members, female growls, and a bit of tinned symphonics.” Preypare the subject!
Omnicidal – The Omnicidalist Review
“If you were deeply saddened by the news of Rimfrost’s demise in 2019, you were not alone. After Dr. Grier spent a week spinning Abigail in a dark room, we had to physically drag him into a cold shower and pay Brittney Slayes to give him a backrub just to get him out his catatonic state. Thankfully, the band changed their minds halfway into the pandemic, and all was right with the world. Sometime during their brief break-up, though, vocalist Sebastian Svedlund had the luminous idea to start Omnicidal, an entirely different band with an entirely different style: old school Swedish death metal with a teaspoon of Gothenburg melodeath.” Dawn of the OmniRim.
¡Pendejo! – Volcán Review
“’Twas two weeks and change before Christmas, 2018, when I went to see Madder Mortem. The venue turned out to be one of those backrooms behind a cafe, the kind regularly rented for family gatherings and bat mitzvahs and stuff, complete with random sad disco ball. There were 5 bands in total, and the whole thing lasted for 5 goddamn hours because of half-hour breaks. It was a weird and exhausting afternoon into night, and the only good thing until the main act hit the stage was a largely unknown troupe called ¡Pendejo!, who blew me away with a unique brand of brass-infused, Spanish-sung stoner metal.” Latin heat in the street.
Tramalizer – Fumes of Funeral Pyres Review
“Names are hard, man. As a dungeon master. I find myself faced with this quandary all the time, and that’s for made-up people and places, not for a band whose moniker I would someday hope to see plastered across T-shirts and battle jacket patches galore. With Tramalizer, though, I feel like they’re trying to pull a fast one on us, not only attempting to convince us that tramalization is a thing, but also that a person or object exists whose hobby or career is tramalizing.” Trauma opportunities.
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Dystopia A.D. – Doomsday Psalm [Things You Might Have Missed 2022]
“Boy, did we miss this one. I reviewed Dystopia A.D.’s Rise of the Merciless back in 2020 and very nearly awarded the band a 4.0. I chanced upon that review doomscrolling through my writing history and was struck with curiosity whether anything else was in the pipeline. But no, the pipeline had already shat out a very fine self-produced album in early December, polished by the artwork of the ever-productive Adam Burke no less.” Missing Dystopia.
Condenados – El Camino de la Serpiente Review
“Infusing the traditional Black Sabbath-style doom with smoky desert vigor, El Camino de la Serpiente (The Path of the Snake) rocks and rumbles rambunctiously. There’s a pleasing looseness to the music, a cool devil-may-care swagger that makes it impossible not to move along to the many, many riffs packed into the 46-minute running time.” On this rock, they will build their doom.
Soothsayer Orchestra – The Last Black Flower Review
“I have a great admiration for the solo creator. Thanks to my attention deficiency disorder, the two tasks I struggle most with are staying motivated and staying organized. The kind of dedication it takes to perform every part of what is ordinarily a team effort seems Herculean to me. Pieter Hendriks (Black Bottle Riot, Born From Pain) has that kind of dedication, though, as The Last Black Flower is his second album as Soothsayer Orchestra, a mere 2 years after the self-titled debut. But does dedication equal quality?” One man, three projects.
