“The month of January is always a difficult one for us writers here at Angry Metal Guy. As evidenced by the staggering amount of Things You Might Have Missed articles that are still coming in, the sheer sparsity of new music is leaving us parched with thirst for thrilling material, and even more so when said thrilling material is at an absolute premium.” Can some heavy sludge shake off Grymm’s early year doldrums? And why are we already have doldrums?
“Three years ago at a Krallice show in New York, a band named Black Anvil took stage, struck an immense wall-shaking chord, and immediately captivated my unsuspecting ears with their hefty, head-crushing riffs. Unlike the post-progressive-neo-sludge-blueberry muffin-whatever I expected to accompany Krallice, Black Anvil was firmly grounded in the primal forms of extreme metal, somehow combining black, death, thrash, and doom without sounding like they’d spent the last decade huffing rubber cement and playing Celtic Frost records backwards.” Holidays go better with rubber cement huffing.
“Way back when Obituary were big, they delivered the kind of ripping death metal that rivaled Florida peers Malevolent Creation, Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Deicide. To say that they once peeled the skin from your face is no understatement… think back to the pungent stench of Slowly We Rot and Cause of Death. It was them along with Winter that first incorporated the Celtic Frost dirge element into death metal, and when combined with John Tardy’s lunatic vocals left you wondering whether music could get any heavier.” The old boys are back to kill once again, but are the tools still sharp enough?
“Those readers familiar with my reviews may have guessed that I have a bone to pick with modern death metal. In reality, it’s more like a small skeleton. I love death metal, and I’m no retro-fanatic, but the vast majority of death metal that’s been made this decade is about as inventive and impactful as a marshmallow gun. The genre has always risked stagnation through competition, but as of late it’s a pissing contest between dozens of bands trying to be more technical, more brutal, and louder than everyone else, and none of them succeed.” The wrath of Kronos is terrible to behold when it comes to sub par death. Can Abysmal Dawn sooth the savage beast that dwells in his jaded heart?
“Pig Destroyer. EP. Are you ready for 20 minutes of aggravated, misanthropic deathgrind anthems in the vein of Phantom Limb? Because you’d better not be.” What the hell does that mean? Kronos is such an enigma.
“The old PR hype machine has been cranking out the pre-release superlatives and playing up the mystery surrounding the debut EP from Scandinavian one woman black metal project Myrkur. Typical of male dominance in the metal community, the gender novelty has been thrown around, however it’s the identity of this apparently Danish born artist that has raised much speculation and underground sleuthing from dedicated metalheads.” We love a mystery here at AMG, and this one is a riddle wrapped in an enigma and coated with Scandinavian ice.
“Now this is a pleasant surprise. With all the funeral doom, pagan folk metal, and post-black I’ve been subjecting myself to lately, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve had enough time to deeply reflect and wax philosophically with myself for quite a while. Sometimes, you just want to sit back, relax, and get steamrolled for almost a good hour without any form of forgiveness or breathing space. Enter Brooklyn, New York’s Mortals and their second full-length (and first for Relapse), Cursed To See The Future.” Tired of soulful introspection? Want to get beaten to a pulp instead?
“Alchemy is a powerful philosophical practice that would lead their followers to perceived unlimited power. One of those goals ultimately outlined by alchemists is the ability to transmute lesser metals (such as lead) to more noble, socially-desirable metals such as gold. This romantic and idealistic viewpoint of bettering simple metals can be reflected onto the human race as well, with one’s desire to elevate themselves from more modest, humble origins to become something greater, more powerful. And yet, somehow retain their primal instincts while transmogrifying into their ideal form. Such is the basis of Brooklyn, New York’s Tombs and their newest album, the rightfully-titled Savage Gold.” Deep thoughts, profound words, nasty music. Enjoy!
“Looking for some seething death grind that attacks you like a horde of rotting zombies crudely ripping your intestines from your gut? Of course you are, who wouldn’t be!” Can The Drip deliver the zombie-tastic carnage or are they just another brain dead clone? That name certainly isn’t helping them any.
““New York City’s PYRRHON emerge with a mind bending album of surrealistic death metal for fans of Gorguts, Ulcerate & Portal!” Brave words, promo guy, brave words. I as much as I admire your confidence, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. When you invoke Ulcerate and Gorguts in order to hawk your wares, you’ve certainly caught my attention, but lying won’t go unpunished. Besmirching the name of my favorite band of Kiwis is a cardinal sin, so either Pyrrhon has their shit really together, or an overzealous Relapse employee is going to find rat feces in his Cheerios tomorrow.” We at AMG disavow any knowledge and/or awareness of food tampering or promo vendor harassment.
