“Another month grinds by as we squirm in the grips of a global pandemic. Toilet paper made a big comeback recently, but most of life’s little pleasures are still off-limits or subject to restrictions and regulations. Music is still flowing though, and for that we should all be very grateful.” Music is still alive even if rumors have that AMG isn’t.
It’s Record(s) o’ the Month season! Come and see how many individual writers, readers and bands that AMG Himself can insult in a single post! You’ll be shocked, awed and, most likely, insulted! This is the content you come here for.
“March of 2020 was a big month for me, personally. I turned in a full manuscript of my dissertation for a seminar that gives you the bits and pieces that need to be fixed in order to go to a public defense. As a result, AngryMetalGuy.com is one step closer to getting AMG Himself back. You can bet that heads will fucking roll. That’s what I do around here. Fortunately, I had a solid stable of records to listen to while I was editing and planning my inevitable return, including March’s Record o’ the Month.” Back to rule.
The Record(s) o’ the Month for February are here, just in time for the apocalypse, and maybe even a bit late.
“December brings extended downtime to the overworked, never paid AMG staff as the pace of review slowly drops off. It’s the time of year when we’re left alone to perfect our year-end lists before fleeing the hustle and bustle of the Skull Pit and promo spa for a much needed mental vacation. January however means a dutiful return to the writing cells with clear minds, full hearts and musical palates ready for new abuses. The shackles are then reapplied and the whipping resumes in earnest.” We’re back and still hacks.
“Cold winds, ice, snow, overstuffed birds and crowded shopping malls. None of these played a role in making November’s Record(s) o’ the Month so fookin’ late.” Baby, it’s late outside.
After a summer that was good, September was kind of insane. There were seven albums that were nominated that I considered for the list. And, of those seven, there were three that could be sitting in the top spot. So just let me go on record and say that this was an extremely difficult month. Being difficult, therefore, I had to ask myself a principled question: what would troll the readers and writers of Angry Metal Guy the most? The answer was simple: there was a progressive metal band that released iconic material in the early aughts. A band whose work is epic in scope and style. A band whose legacy is spoken of in hushed tones. A band lauded for epic compositions and an innovative style. That’s right…
On the road to finishing my dissertation, there will be many bumps. Today’s bump? I’m writing the Record(s) o’ the Month for July which robs me of time for completing my real goal. My real goal right now is to pump out 2,500 words a day of lifeless academic text that will suck the joy out of a fascinating topic for readers so that the ancient Blood God Academius, whose grotesque form lives solely upon the sacrificed blood, sweat, tears and writers guilt innocent and naïve graduate students, can be sated.
There’s a really specific reason that the Record(s) o’ the Month are late this month. It’s because I don’t like anything enough to make Record o’ the Month. In the past when this has been the case, I tend to listen to things that people like and let a “democratic” decision happen. We did an extensive vote and came with a lot of options and no consensus. And while the options ranged from the “pretty good” to the “deeply insulting,” I wasn’t overly thrilled about any of them.
“Summer is here, and that means sweaty, miserable n00bs toiling away in the Skull Pits for no pay and even less appreciation. It also means terminally late Record(s) o’ the Month posts. This should come as a surprise to no one. The AMG staff is spread all over kingdom come this time of year, running amok on vacations, non-suspicious sabbaticals, and generally behaving badly.” Sun’s out, pun’s out.
