Record reviews
“Circumstances have not been kind to prog-metal forefathers Fates Warning. For most of the past decade and a half, the band has been sidelined while far lesser acts have laid claim to the entire genre (oh hi, Dream Theater). The fact that Fates have released some incredibly inaccessible albums has not helped their cause, nor did their 9-year hiatus from making new music altogether.” The forefathers are back!
“Cheekily dubbed “Be’lacore” on the promo spreadsheet and with my esteemed colleague El Cuervo dissecting the upcoming Be’lakor album, I felt it my duty to ride the coattails of that anticipated release by examining the debut full length from UK melodic death outfit Countless Skies, named after a song from the Australian melodeath kingpins.” Death is getting really mellow of late.
“For some fickle mechanisms of the human mind and various other lunacies, first wave progressive rock acts as my personal, pesky Madeleine; a trigger of sickly sweet involuntary memories. Because of that I’m cursed: each riff by Gentle Giant, Camel or other bands that I encountered when first discovering everything progressive, now inundates me with inescapable, banal yet pleasurable nostalgia meshed with a remembrance of ages that I could have never lived through.” Welcome back to the Age of the Noodle.
“Remember Amaranthe? Say what you want about them as a metal band (which, if you’re being six figure tax return levels of charitable, would be “not so great”), but as a pop band they’re alright. Massive Addictive was catchy, regardless of the fact that it was meticulously crafted by Swedish pop robots, made of 100% candy-coated processed cheese, and equal in substance to a sugar rush. Italy’s Secret Rule is pure processed cheese too.” Cheese and sugar go together like dynamite and napalm.
“It wasn’t so long ago I referenced the basic unkillability of Germanic metal bands, regardless of stature and fame. As if to provide a flying buttress to my argument, along comes Paradox, a classic second tier thrash act from the 80s that are amazingly still functioning some 30 years later despite a paucity of success or notoriety.” Rock hard, rock olde.
“If you’ve never heard of Monsterworks before, welcome to the club. Originally expecting Black Swan Annihilation to be the debut album from a group of spritely young upstarts, I was pretty amazed to find this London-based quartet is actually one of the most productive bands since Suidakra.” Expectations are for posers!
“Well, the day has come once more. The AMG staff is ashamed, Dr. Grier is a giddy school girl, and pure fanboyism is about to play out. Yep, the full-length debut from Denner/Shermann has finally hit the record shelves. “Oh, shit…,” you might be saying. Or maybe “Fuck me, here comes another 5.0/5.0.” But, keep this in mind: at least it isn’t a new King Diamond record.” Thank goodness for minor miracles.
“Just like death and taxes, you can count on Svart Records to artfully bestow the weird and the wonderful. Ark of Contempt and Anger’s promo blurb begins by saying that ‘Sink have once again created an oddly compelling and strangely enchanting album that is truly in a league of its own.’ Add to that, Sink promises rich and complex compositions woven with enigmatic lyrics, and I’ll admit I had a hard time resisting this.” Plus there’s a cute dog on the cover!
“Named after the gorgeous but poisonous winter flower of the same name, Helleborus’ debut full-length The Carnal Sabbath is a proper manifestation of both the gorgeous and the poisonous. Coloradan brothers Wyatt and Jerred Houseman have created a peculiar cosmic world anchored by a standard modern-day black metal sound: part Deathspell Omega and part Behemoth.” Flowers are way more metal than you know.
“I was impressed by Colorado’s Wayfarer on their debut. Their post-black metal was nuanced, densely textured and showed great maturity for a young band. I was eager to overlook the flaws since their base was sound, with such touchstones as Winterfylleth or Wildernessking. A year and a half later, Old Souls succeeds Children of the Iron Age in Wayfarer’s discography….” And a much more jaded and cynical El Cuervo awaits.
