Record reviews
“I’m not a big lasagna guy. It’s weird, because while each of the main ingredients are great in other dishes, I just could never fully get behind that big cheesy rectangle, even though I really should enjoy it. But alas, the appeal has eluded me and if I was given a choice of what to make at home or order at a restaurant, it’s safe to say that it would never be lasagna. What does this have to do with metal and/or angry-ness?” Good question, and who the hell doesn’t like lasagna?
“There was a time before the Bay Area thrash explosion where bands were playing fairly fast without it actually being what we now consider thrash metal. Acts like Exciter, Agent Steel, Attacker and even Razor were surely speedy and had the rudiments of thrash in place, but are now referred to as speed metal. Belgian upstarts Evil Invaders look to plant their flag right at the junction between speed and thrash, and tip their hand by using Razor’s best known ditty as their moniker.” Have you ever been screamed at by a crazy cat lady? Do you want to be?
“Melodic folk metallers Frosttide crossed my path back in 2013 with their debut full-lengh. Now a mere two years later, the Finns are back tipping tables and generally upsetting the orderly offices we have here at AMG central.” Honestly, it wasn’t all that orderly to begin with.
“When further listening to Skym and reading everything the good folks at Hammerheart sent our way about Kjeld, I was surprised. Not in the “huh, neat” way, but in Keanu Reeves’ infamous “whoa” way.” We didn’t see this one coming.
“Neolith is a great name for a death/doom band. The word refers to a stone tool used in the latter period of the Stone Age, conjuring up the image of something being forged through weight, brute strength, and barbaric force.” Kinda like this here blog.
“Apostate are one of the Ukraine’s oldest doom bands, but have only released one full-length prior to Time of Terror. Forming in 1993, they suffered a series of splits before eventually reforming this millennium to release 2010’s Trapped in a Sleep.” Old band, new lineup, no producer?
“Today’s metal underground is more complex than ever. The Internet has opened up every time period and obscure scene for both exploration and exploitation, resulting in genres and subgenres spliced apart, hybridized, fused with non-metal elements, and shat out in an accelerating vortex of name-your-price Bandcamp zip files and ostensibly enthusiastic blog posts that seem to proclaim every half-assed side project as the best thing since Black Sabbath.” Why, we’d never!
“Being that I had money and nothing else to do, I purchased the sophomore release [Katun] of Mexican blackened-death metallers Hacavitz.” Money and idle hands lead to poor musical choices. Always.
“The classic 80s metal sound will never go away, because bands like Enforcer still live, breathe and eat that stuff. Their entire career has been spent chasing the closest approximation to early 80s speed metal as humanly possible and when they nail it, it stays pretty damn nailed.” It’s time for your required dose of old school metal, so open up and say…Enforcer!
“So, do you know anything about techno? What you’re about to read is a review of an album as far removed from metal as anything that ever appeared on Angry Metal Guy. There are only two, minor and farfetched at that, connections between Finland’s Tähtiportti and metal.” Admit it, you like techno. Bats and ants and bats and ants!
