“War…war certainly changes. Whether it was the Crusader’s use of the crossbow against their enemies’ inferior longbows, the subversive tactics of the Cold War, the intellectual dispute between the thought of Martin Luther and Francisco de Vitoria on the justness of combat (the latter was right, by the way), or the modern West taking Plato’s Republic one step further and treating everyone as the great philosopher did Greeks in our international war laws.” What’s it good for?
“The process of quantifying quality is always a capricious thing. Contrary to nature, what I might allow for one band, I may use to vilify another, and we haven’t even begun to touch on the perils of genre favoritism — because, despite any reviewer’s very best attempts to consider a product on its individual merit, there will always be some material that I’ll subconsciously allow an extra furlong of leeway.” Media bias!
“Listening to Trümmerfarben, the fifth album of Germany’s pagan black metal vets Thormesis, is like going to dinner with a promising blind date seated across from an incredibly obnoxious couple. Your date is attractive on a surface level and, after a few minutes of conversation, you discover that they possess a unique personality and an emotional depth that’s not overbearing. Yet, just as you’re starting to form a connection, that damned couple across from you begins an argument, raising their voices to a deafening roar that drowns out your dialogue.” Sound of a romance fading.
“Being at the bridge between traditional and more extreme forms of metal, death-thrash isn’t a style with a lot of clout. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the sub-genre, but its middle ground status means that most peoples’ preferences fall to one side of the genre or the other. While there’s no denying the beauty of heavy metal, readers will recognize that I fall on the brutal side of the scale.” Brutality is a deathstyle choice.
“Some metalheads get excited about new releases because they’re new; they know what they like and they want more of it. This album is for them. If you like death metal without a hint of pretense, pomp, or progression, Beast Incarnate has your fix.” Death for the masses.
“Heredity can be a blessing and a curse. Unless you’re George Clooney, you will be endlessly compared to that elderly, more famous relative of yours no matter how different you proclaim to be. Often, lineage will be the curiosity factor that garners early attention, but even more often it will be a stumbling block to legitimacy. Take Lauren Harris, for example, daughter of Iron Maiden’s Steve Harris. She’s been trying for over a decade to make a go of it, with little luck. Another “Child of Maiden,” Austin Dickinson, is bravely trying to carve his own path, first with unmemorable metalcore act Rise to Remain and now with As Lions.” How far is that apple gonna roll?
“Introducing Chile’s very own Infamovs, champions of that perennially classic style of exhumed, grave dusted death metal, which we all love to love. And, yes, I did spell the band name correctly; you’re going to have to be extra kvlt to read this one.” There is no “v” in old school.
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“From Vader to Behemoth, Polish death metal has always rocked my socks off and left me standing in line for all the blastbeats and pierogies I can stomach. From the same foul breeding grounds come the perpetrators behind today’s split.” Nasty and nastier.
“News from Germany, courtesy of power metal band Victorius: apparently it’s totally fine to remove pesky vowels from words as one sees fit, much in the same way the Brits pretentiously shove “u” into words that never needed it (let the comments war commence)!” Take a vowel, leave a vowel.
“By the time you read this, the new year will already be in full swing, and judging by this album’s release date, AMG industries is already struggling to keep up. Expect the Record(s) o’ the Month to be late.” While you wait, feel free to attend the AMG poetry slam.
