“2021 is one of those years that should have an asterisk attached for one reason or another, not the least of which is that our dear Kronos went and reviewed power metal favorably. Yes, it was Red Cain’s 2021 effort Kindred: Act II that solidified his inner weenie]—power metal of the most synth-entangled and anthemic variety.” Power to the people!
“Hello, reader—can I call you reader? Let’s be honest with each other. You know exactly what to expect here. You know what kind of music this is; you know what this review is going to say; you do not need to skip to the end to know what score is coming. Even if you don’t know that the former vocalist for Gloryhammer Thomas Winkler has, since his dramatic departure from the group, started up anew with a Europe-spanning band called Angus McSix, even if you didn’t know that Gloryhammer and Winkler are well-known for their cheesy, over-the-top tales of fantasy, even if you haven’t glanced down and noticed that the preview song on Bandcamp for Angus McSix and the Sword of Power is called “Laser-Shooting Dinosaur,” you know.” Six appeal.
“Why do we find ourselves in the midst of a nu renaissance where bands like The Offering throw down like it’s ’03 and genres like slam can shamelessly quote groove under the guise of gore? Well, it seems that some also grew up to incorporate their first loves into their art. Elyose, an act of that breed, urges you to embrace your inner jumpdafuckup with a French language tour-de-force of alt-rock meets gothy vibes with nu and industrial accouterments on Déviante.” What’s olde is nu.
“A crazy thing happened in 2020—Holdeneye was right about Scardust. So, when I was perusing the promo pudding for a sonic snack that swooned my spoon, I popped the foil on a new Israeli symphonic power metal group, Stormbound, hoping that they might be part of a growing movement from the small but mighty country.” See you in December.
“The Uncertain Hour, over the course of fifty minutes or so, launches the listener through a galloping field of riffs, leads, and triumphant melodies in one of the better samples of symphonic power metal I’ve heard lately. Upbeat, catchy, and well-written, it has all of the makings of a grower, and talent to match.” Death is certain, good reviews are not.
“It blows my mind that only two years passed since the last Volturian album, which I gave a positive review. I stand by that rating, too. Crimson stands firm as a pleasant and fun, poppy and sweet, goth-tinged experience. Big choruses, a fair share of decent riffs, and crunchy downtuned tones which I’ve always loved in this format formed a dance-able volume that is extremely difficult to put down, even today. The pandemic, which hit just before Crimson dropped, stretched time to the point that now, it feels like I wrote that review all the way back in 2018 rather than 2020. Nonetheless, it’s 2022, and sophomore album Red Dragon prepares to swoop down and incinerate my credibility as a metal critic of taste once again.” DraGONES!
“Cathexis is a death metal band from Texas. How to further classify them is up to the listener, but to me their sound is that of a TXDM band playing a mix of Obscura, Negativa, and Hate Eternal. Untethered Abyss is ambitious in that it tries to find the sweet spot between TXDM brutality, the creative dissonance of Obscura and Negativa, and the propulsive and aggressive death metal of Hate Eternal.” Texas knows brisket and abysskit.
“I don’t put much stock in award shows or competitions. Really, who amongst us does? Ever since the first Metal Grammy went to Jethro Tull metal fans around the world have viewed these sorts of things with more than a little trepidation. So when a band comes my way that came to fame in a competition, it’s more a curse than a blessing. Power metal act Arion (the Finnish act, not the Greek) is such a band. As teens these guys were finalists in UMK, the Finnish qualification program for Eurovision, eight years ago.” Beauty pageant meets the metal world.
“Maybe you thought I was joking when I claimed the mantle of weeniedom. I do sometimes joke, after all. But now you are coming to realize that Red Cain is not a death metal band. They’re not even a black metal band. Look them up, I’ll wait. Look at the tags down there. Oh, and the score. Yeah, see, it says power metal. You know why it says that? It could be that I’m a big weenie now.” Cain and the Weenies.
TheKenWord and Carcharodon join the fray with tastes ranging from good, bad, and unfathomable.
