“I need to get this out of the way immediately: this is not really Kronos‘ kind of record. You see “Progressive Metal” marked on a promo and you never quite know what you’re in for. Usually, it’s Dream Theater worship or worse, djent, but sometimes it’s actually good. In the case of Auditory Armory, it’s an odd mix of mid-paced power/prog/death riffing and sultry female vocals. What’s one to do? Well, review it.” Prog is like a box of chocolates.
“Welcome to the most self-indulgent genre of metal in existence: the dreaded instrumental progressive metal. Even I, a lowly and slavishly devoted minion of most things prog, cringe when the internet pleads with me to review an instrumental prog album. This music is tough to do well. Often, it’s much easier to simply wank until your wank falls off rather than write captivating songs. To grab my attention, you need something different, and that’s just what Montreal, Canada’s Cydemind have tried to do: they’ve added a violinist to the mix here, hoping to shake up the genre.” Shake the wank before returning to work.
“First, a bit about these theatrical Italian progsters. who dare compare themselves to the likes of Dream Theater and Pain of Salvation. Side is the quintet’s second album, a concept album featuring a number of songs tied together via a series of narratives. The concept itself is a bit difficult to understand, but seems to be a series of stories about characters that some woman named Lily knows.” When prog goes Side-ways.
“Gun to my head, I’d have to say that no metal sub-genre tickles my fancy as much as progressive metal. It’s hardly a fully independent genre, though, because how often do you call a band straight-up progressive metal? Well, sometimes, but usually it’s progressive death metal, or progressive power metal, or any of the other combinations. This is because while other sub-genres are more about a certain sound or atmosphere, progressive is almost exclusively about the structure of the songs, freeing the band from their verse-chorus shackles. This allows for longer songs with more room to explore, and the pull of a narrative structure leads to concept albums more than any other genre.” Is this a dream in a theater?
“Every genre has its tropes. Power metal’s unhealthy obsession with dragons and unicorns, for example. Thrashers shower but twice a year. Did you know that most black metal musicians are allergic to both colors and happiness? All true facts! Progressive metal is no exception.” Unicorns are the new white meat.
“My short tenure with everyone’s favourite Angry Metal website has already changed my views on music in profound and mysterious ways. Forming an opinion on an album used to be instinctual; I either liked what I heard (and thus listened to it repeatedly), or I did not. I have since realized things are not quite so black and white. What happens when faced with an album that is not enjoyable? Disregarding it is not an option. As great as it would be to write “this shit stinks” and call it a day, such a review be in rather poor taste and probably land me squarely in front of HR.” Ask HMG how that went….
“Well, the US presidential elections are over. And no matter how hard I tried to write and edit reviews last night, I could not ignore the votes rolling in. Sure, the half-bottle of bourbon didn’t help my focus either, but you can’t blame me for trying to take the edge off. After a long night of suspense and bewilderment, this morning finds a fog encasing the house as I wait for a sunrise they tell me should arrive.” To the 80s we must flee!
“Album length is an ongoing discussion here at Angry Metal Guy, with one side arguing for more material and the option to listen in parts or mix tracks into playlists, and the correct side arguing for self-editing, trimming the fat and creating a cohesive listening experience.” Revise, revisit, remove.
“It’s not every day that you see C.S. Lewis’ name in a metal review. But a Lewis cameo is inevitable when reviewing a band called Narnia. If you’ve never heard the band before, I bet you’re picturing seven full-album concepts based on Lewis’ Narnia saga. Well, put those thoughts away because they’re wrong. This Swedish power-metal outfit does indeed have seven records, but not a single one of them is a front-to-back concept. There are the occasional Narnia-influence songs but, for the most part, the band uses Lewis’ folklore as an instrument to spread the word of God; and not in a subtle way.” I think you’ve been lion!
“Imminent Sonic Destruction like to call themselves progressive super metal. The brainchild of sweater-vest lover (and songwriter/guitarist/vocalist) Tony Piccoli, this group of prog-loving pals could more accurately be referred to as playing kitchen sink metal. As in, everything-but-the. And with influences ranging from Pantera to Dream Theater to Meshuggah to Genesis, that’s a pretty apt term.” You never go full Dream Theater!
