Dutch Metal

¡Pendejo! – Volcán Review

¡Pendejo! – Volcán Review

“’Twas two weeks and change before Christmas, 2018, when I went to see Madder Mortem. The venue turned out to be one of those backrooms behind a cafe, the kind regularly rented for family gatherings and bat mitzvahs and stuff, complete with random sad disco ball. There were 5 bands in total, and the whole thing lasted for 5 goddamn hours because of half-hour breaks. It was a weird and exhausting afternoon into night, and the only good thing until the main act hit the stage was a largely unknown troupe called ¡Pendejo!, who blew me away with a unique brand of brass-infused, Spanish-sung stoner metal.” Latin heat in the street.

Crimson River – Here’s To The End…Again Review

Crimson River – Here’s To The End…Again Review

“I’ll be honest, I went into this review ready to bash this album. Crimson River is a silly name with awkward connotations, the album title doesn’t make any sense and the band’s logo makes them look like an evil tech company from an unproduced 90s Transformers movie. Still, I did my due diligence and spun the thing lest Steel withhold my precious gruel. With the opening Iron Maiden-y guitar notes, my preconceptions vanished like so many wasted years.” Iron water.

Cadaver Shrine – Benighted Desecration Review

Cadaver Shrine – Benighted Desecration Review

“Sunlight can cleanse or heal, but it also burns. The scouring properties of light sear their way into the foreground on Benighted Desecration, the debut full-length from death-doom entity Cadaver Shrine. Just look at the corpse on the album cover, face pointed upward toward the source of its demise. A halo of oppressive brightness envelops the nasty music on this latest of many side projects from Maurice de Jong of Gnaw Their Tongues infamy.” Cult of the Sun.

Soothsayer Orchestra – The Last Black Flower Review

Soothsayer Orchestra – The Last Black Flower Review

“I have a great admiration for the solo creator. Thanks to my attention deficiency disorder, the two tasks I struggle most with are staying motivated and staying organized. The kind of dedication it takes to perform every part of what is ordinarily a team effort seems Herculean to me. Pieter Hendriks (Black Bottle Riot, Born From Pain) has that kind of dedication, though, as The Last Black Flower is his second album as Soothsayer Orchestra, a mere 2 years after the self-titled debut. But does dedication equal quality?” One man, three projects.

For I Am King – Crown Review

For I Am King – Crown Review

“I can address the Arch Enemy-shaped elephant in the room with For I Am King. A female vocalist, a Gothenburg-inspired guitar attack, just enough metalcore riffage to keep things relatable – Crown has got it all. To be clear, there is nothing cutting edge about it; if it’s riffs you want, ask and you shall receive. Don’t approach Crown expecting to come away with the prototype of the new breed of melodeath or a newfound respect for Arch Enemy.” Arch usurper.

Celestial Season – Mysterium II Review

Celestial Season – Mysterium II Review

“After taking some 20 years off, Dutch gothic doom-death act Celestial Season roared back in 2020 with a startingly ambitious comeback album called The Secret Teachings, then followed up in April of this year with Mysterium I. Now just a scant 7 months later they’re back with the second part of a planned trilogy, dropping Mysterium II in time for Christmas stocking stuffing.” Eggnog and seasonal mysteries.

Hagetisse – De verminkte stilte van het zijn Review

Hagetisse – De verminkte stilte van het zijn Review

“Maurice de Jong has had a rough go of things within the hallowed halls of this website. Perhaps best known for Gnaw Their Tongues but involved in no fewer than 15 current projects according to Metal Archives, many of them of the one-man variety, the Dutchman has been reviewed here in his various forms eight times by my count. His scores? A shocking 0.5, 1.0, 1.5, 2.5, 2.5, a 3.0 that our resident shark person has since demoted to a 2.5, and two presumably un-recanted 3.0s from former site writers long since missing under suspicious circumstances. Hagetisse is straightforward, riffy black metal and a far cry from the experimental blackened noise shenanigans de Jong is best known for.” The law of averages.

The Lovecraft Sextet – Miserere Review

The Lovecraft Sextet – Miserere Review

“No one does music like Jason Köhnen. His projects like Mansur, The Kilimanjaro Darkjazz Ensemble, and Bong-Ra constantly push boundaries, and while my reception to his work has been largely mixed, The Lovecraft Sextet has stuck. Debut In Memoriam was a unique and visceral experience, somehow weaponizing dark ambient, black metal, jazz, and opera into six tracks with three disparate but compatible palettes.” Sax and tentacles.