“Hoo boy! It’s the 7th of November and I’m dropping the Record(s) o’ the Month from October. What on earth will you people do with yourselves when you don’t have a late Record o’ the Month to complain about? Oh right, you’ll complain about the record I chose. I’d say “You can’t win all the time,” but when it comes to the RotM that’s not true. I do win all the time.” Trolling with timeliness.
“It’s nearly October, so in the 2017 tradition: here’s the August Record(s) o’ the Month. To be honest, August was a cracking month. Surprisingly solid, given everything. There haven’t been many months—maybe September can compete—with this many good new records to choose from. But when we did the internal voting it became clear: My word is law, and what other people think is completely irrelevant.” Absolute power corrupts absotootly.
“In the days when dinosaurs walked the Earth, and land was swamp and caves were home, you had to wait a long, long time for the Record(s) o’ the Month to arrive via delivery monkey. In our glorious modern age, the coveted selections drop into your laps with alarming semi-regularity, requiring only a modicum of patience. Even that small condition of service is too great for the average AMG reader however, and by the 15th of each month they lay siege to the AMG offices like a suburban mall in a George Romero movie.” OCCUPY AMG.
“The summer is more than halfway over here in these United States, and the demands of blog management, writing, editing and ruthless self-promotion must be balanced with seasonal outdoor pursuits like excessive beer drinking, excessive cocktail imbibing and excessive moonshine swilling. This makes time management all the more crucial, lest the whole summer schedule implodes and we fall months behind on the Record(s) o’ the Month posting (quiet, you).” There ain’t no cure for the summertime booze.
“There’s an olde Klingon proverb to the effect that Record(s) o’ the Month posts are best served late (and with cheap beer, but we’re on a budget). As we at AMG have a healthy collective respect for Klingon traditions, we do what we can to live up to their br00tal warrior code. May was exceptional for metal releases and there were a bunch of top-flight albums vying for monthly lordship. And as usual, the fractious staff did not see eye-to-eye on who should reign supreme.” Dochvetlh vIneH!
“April has come and gone and we’re just barely over halfway through May, so we’re definitely making progress toward bringing these damn Record(s) o’ the Month posts current by 2019. We’ve streamlined the selection process by ignoring most of the staff; instead going with a small but powerful cabal known for ever-shifting loyalties and a wobbly support base.” Timely like Gandalf.
“We aren’t going to discuss the timing of this post, nor who delayed it. We won’t be speculating when the April Record(s) o’ the Month will appear. Instead we’re going to live in the moment and bask in the warming glow of quality metal and good will among metal fans. Just sit back, relax and let the music do the talking.” March for AMG!
“Another month, another spectacularly late Record(s) o’ the Month. At this point, can’t we just agree if you get it at all, it’s timely? As for February, it was a respectable month o’ metal with enough candidates for the top spots to make for a contentious selection, and no matter what we picked, some faction was going to have grievances. Since we’re a grievance type of website, we soak that shit up like craft beer and virgin’s blood.” It’s late, don’t hate.
“It’s a brand new year but it seems some things never change; like you getting a way late Record(s) o’ the Month post. Rather than blame the usual suspects and counter-productively point fingers, allow me to explain why these posts occasionally get delayed a wee bit.” Behind the curtain lies the truth (and the mold).
“November was sure to be a much easier month to sift through than October, which was outright ridiculous. Of course it had its share of standouts, but most of the AMG intelligentsia was in agreement where the November crown should be placed. Since this is such a rare occurrence, we were able to render a timely posting, which is in itself quite rare.” No turkeys here.
