Reverend Bizarre

Suum – Cryptomass Review

Suum – Cryptomass Review

“It’s a new year and I’m already anxious to uncover 2020s version of Fvneral Fvkk. By that I mean a doom album that comes out of nowhere and hits me like a runaway logging truck, leaving me bloodied, battered but impressed. In search of the next unheralded monolith of massiveness, I took a flyer on unsung Italian doom act Suum. Cryptomass is their second album, and you just have to love that witty title.” Suum of all fears.

Cardinals Folly – Deranged Pagan Sons Review

Cardinals Folly – Deranged Pagan Sons Review

“We all know that imitation is supposedly the sincerest form of flattery, but where exactly is that flimsy line, where tribute slips into mimicry and thunders down that Jacob’s ladder, only to greet the ground with a limp thud, uniform and unremarkable. This is a question I find myself pondering whilst meandering through the trails of traditional doom that comprise Deranged Pagan Sons, the fourth release from Finland’s Cardinals Folly.” Ozzy says.

Spiritus Mortis – The Year is One Review

Spiritus Mortis – The Year is One Review

“This has been a really good year for doom, with Khemmis, Messa and Northern Crown dropping stellar platters of mawkish mopery, and Spiritus Mortis wants to help send 2016 out with even more funereal notes and appropriately bowed heads. This Finnish doom troupe has been around a while and The Year is One is their fourth album, but somehow I’ve slept on them and am just coming to grips with their material.” The Year is Yuge.

Lord Vicar – Gates of Flesh Review

Lord Vicar – Gates of Flesh Review

Lord Vicar has been banging about for a while without a lot of press, which is strange considering they’re a doom super group of sorts. In their ranks you’ll find former members of Saint Vitus and Reverend Bizarre and they definitely know a thing or two about their chosen genre. 2011s Signs of Osiris was a sleeper that fell through the AMG cracks and didn’t get reviewed but should be heard as there’s much to admire in their earnest, throwback approach to the days of Witchfinder General, Pentagram and Black Sabbath.” Superdoom? Well call me McLovin!

Cardinals Folly – Holocaust of Ecstasy and Freedom Review

Cardinals Folly – Holocaust of Ecstasy and Freedom Review

“It seems like only yesterday I was writing clichés sitting on a balcony overlooking the idyllic Okinawan sea, sweat streaming down my balls, and Cardinals Folly’s second album blaring from my headphones as I tackled my first Angry Metal Guy review. But of course it wasn’t yesterday, it was nearly two years ago, and since then much has changed.” Not all of it for the better.

Tähtiportti – Tähtiportti Review

Tähtiportti – Tähtiportti Review

“So, do you know anything about techno? What you’re about to read is a review of an album as far removed from metal as anything that ever appeared on Angry Metal Guy. There are only two, minor and farfetched at that, connections between Finland’s Tähtiportti and metal.” Admit it, you like techno. Bats and ants and bats and ants!

Slug Lord – Transmutation Review

Slug Lord – Transmutation Review

““Five overlength songs of Sludge-Doom-Metal.” This is the opening statement made of Slug Lord‘s sophomore release, Transmutation, on their one sheet. As far as inspirational and enthusing promotional materials go, this resides somewhere next to “chlamydia – perhaps the most average of all sexually-transmitted infections” and “Volvo – the best example of Swedish culture.”” Prepare the salt baths!

Pilgrim – II: Void Worship Review

Pilgrim – II: Void Worship Review

“When last we checked in on Pilgrim, they were really fucking slow! Even by doom standards, these guys were the car in the right lane with flashers on and a “Wide Load” sign on the bumper. That’s because they specialize in unflinchingly minimalist, old school Sabbath riffs slowed down to a root’s pace, lightly seasoned with a hint of psychedelic fairy dust. Their Misery Wizard debut was heavily influenced by Reverend Bizarre and Cathedral and weighed down with insanely long, drawn out doom yarns so heavy, they made you feel like a Buick was parked on your chest. This presented an arduous test to one’s attention span, despite the overall quality of the riffs and writing.” Ready for some doom that’s slower than your grandma? Quick, it’s very slowly getting away!