Rhapsody

Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review

Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review

“Having never heard of Magic Kingdom prior to this review, I was surprised to find out that the band’s existence dates back to 1998 and to find out that Mr. Lance King himself had at one point been involved with the band according to Metal Archives. MetAlmighty finds the band slinging power metal tunes that should satisfy fans of bands like Theocracy, Gloryhammer, and the various incarnations of Rhapsody.” Magic, monsters, and monarchs.

Record(s) o’ the Month – July 2019

Record(s) o’ the Month – July 2019

On the road to finishing my dissertation, there will be many bumps. Today’s bump? I’m writing the Record(s) o’ the Month for July which robs me of time for completing my real goal. My real goal right now is to pump out 2,500 words a day of lifeless academic text that will suck the joy out of a fascinating topic for readers so that the ancient Blood God Academius, whose grotesque form lives solely upon the sacrificed blood, sweat, tears and writers guilt innocent and naïve graduate students, can be sated.

SinHeresY – Out of Connection Review

SinHeresY – Out of Connection Review

“We all have our weird idiosyncratic dislikes. For me, one of those is people who cut spaghetti with a knife. Despicable barbarism. Another is the random and unnecessary capitalization of letters within a word.  So you can imagine my reaction when the new album from SinHeresY landed in my lap.” Don’t hang up.

Turilli / Lione Rhapsody – Zero Gravity: Rebirth and Evolution Review

Turilli / Lione Rhapsody – Zero Gravity: Rebirth and Evolution Review

“Luca Turilli—the primary composer and guitar hero of various versions of [Luca Turilli’s] Rhapsody [of Fire]—represents one of two types of successful musicians, for me. I suspect that if one groups successful artists by attitude toward music, you’ll find two attitudes that can be grouped as either high or low openness to experience.” Guess who’s back to wax poetic about the new Turilli/Lione Rhapsody record? This motherfucking guy!

Gloryhammer – Legends From Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex Review

Gloryhammer – Legends From Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex Review

“If you missed the tongue-bathing AMG gave their last album, Gloryhammer are one of the best active Rhapsody-style epic power metal bands, and also a loving, self-aware parody of same. They’re founded first on quality and second on overly-amped up tropes—D-tier speculative fiction plot, non-native English speaker lyrics, etc.—to the precise point where they become obviously funny. It’s not so overdone that it becomes tiresome, and it works because of the attention to detail and cohesiveness of the whole: take a couple of elements away and you might wonder whether they were actually serious all along.” Get hammered.

Paladin – Ascension Review

Paladin – Ascension Review

“In my early days of metal fandom, there was a period of roughly two years – spanning from the time I stumbled upon DragonForce,‘s Inhuman Rampage to when I began exploring Darkthrone‘s discography – where I listened to nothing except for power metal and thrash. During this period, as I worked on my sloppy renditions of “Eagle Fly Free” and “Battery” on a cheap Yamaha electric guitar my parents picked up at a department store, I had an epiphany: why the fuck hasn’t anyone mashed up the two best genres in the world?” One mash, coming up!

Rhapsody of Fire – The Eighth Mountain Review

Rhapsody of Fire – The Eighth Mountain Review

Rhapsody’s history has all the operatic drama required of its Italian heritage. Rhapsody, one of the ‘90s and early-aughts’ finest power metal bands, rose to prominence on the back of outstanding material before suffering a string of setbacks in the mid-2000s. After some legal drama and a triumphant return with two brilliant albums in two years, the band’s primary composers—Luca Turilli and Alex Staropoli—split the world in two.” Now Rhapsody of Fire is back with its third post-split album and first with a band new vocalist. What could go wrong?

Ancient Bards – Origine – The Black Crystal Sword Saga Part 2 Review

Ancient Bards – Origine – The Black Crystal Sword Saga Part 2 Review

“When it comes to my favorite metal guilty pleasures of the past decade, Ancient Bards’ first two records have locked down a pretty sweet slot. Arriving at a time when even the first wave of Rhapsody imitators were beginning to lose relevance, the Bards fully embraced the irony of their “Ancient” moniker, injecting a well-worn formula with Power Quest-levels of sugar-coated melodies and the invigorating folk overtures of Equilibrium to formulate something that was fully cheesy, yet fully fresh.” Bards, beets, Battlestar Galactica.