Angry Metal Guy’s Best Heavy Metal Songs of All Time 30-21
Closer and closer we draw to the best heavy metal song of all time, but indeed there is much in between and none of it has been come to lightly. I actually have spent a lot of time mulling over this list since its creation and I am pleased, thus far I can’t think of anything major that I’ve left out—which must mean that they are not indeed ‘top songs’ at all. But let me get to one note of concern that people have raised. They say that one of the reasons that a list like Gibson’s travesty is valid is because “it’s hard to know if these songs can stand the test of time!” I just want to take a minute to call bullshit.
Bullshit. First, even by that logic, tracks from At The Gates and Blind Guardian, having been released in the mid-90s could easily have made that list. But I think the other thing that people forget is how metal is no longer as unified then and therefore it’s much harder to come up with newer songs that unify large buying publics. There’s a reason that it’s Korn and Tool that make those lists and not Opeth or Primordial (though arguably Opeth is one of the most popular metal bands in the world today), and it’s because metal doesn’t have the same kind of commercial power that it maybe once did. But does that mean that we should cloister ourselves in stupidity and only pay attention to records that went gold and songs that even people who don’t like metal have heard? This Angry Metal Guy says “Hell no!” And thus I have presented this list (here’s: 50-41 and 40-31) parallel to Steel Druhm’s lists (50-41 and 40-31) with an eye to what has happened in metal since then. Of course not everyone is going to agree—but that is simply because we live in a post-modern metal world, where not everyone is able to get the same metal.
But ask yourself this; which of these bands will be looked back upon fondly, and which of them will be looked back upon with shame. There’s a reason that Warrant and Stryper didn’t make Gibson’s list, and it’s the same reason that Korn shouldn’t have and Papa Roach wasn’t anywhere near it: because these were trends, they were bad, they were cheesy and they are to be looked upon with proper contempt and shame for having ever existed. The same cannot be said of Ulver or Opeth or Primordial or Vintersorg. These are united in excellence and artistic expression, even if they don’t all reach the same listeners.
So my goal here is not to construct the list of the most accessible stuff, it’s the stuff that I see as the best. That means when it comes to songwriting, presentation and, of course, memorability. And now, 30-21.
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Amaranthe has three vocalists. Just let that sink in for a while. From what I can tell, not one of those vocalists plays an instrument. Instead, they found three “attractive” people to do vocals for them. The first is a woman, who sounds like a pop singer (think E Type) and who I guarantee you cannot name a Slayer record. The second is a screamy dude. He’s got a beard (’cause he’s tough and angsty, you see) and he screams, but not too much (he must be very, very, very bored on stage). And then there’s the ‘power metal’ vocalist (Berg from Dream Evil) who’s just as over-produced as the chick vocalist and is there to get 14 year old girls all silly over his perfectly groomed dreadlocks. Behind them are several soulless session musicians (from Mercenary, Dragonland and Engel). Though, frankly, this is a band that is functionally made of session musicians, since integrity seems to be lacking. 
It is more and more apparent to me every day that heavy metal is going into a hibernation stage. As an Angry Metal Guy I try to keep my ear to the ground for movement in a forward direction, particularly from younger people. Instead, there’s nothing but a rash of neo-heavy metal and thrash bands that flood the market as apparently 18 year olds all feel like the really missed out on thrash and are out of ideas. But what’s worse than kids writing thrash metal records that could’ve been written in 1982? Kids writing butt rock albums that should’ve been written in the dying throws of 1980s cock rock in about 1991. That’s right, H.E.A.T., from the same town as venerable rockers Europe have decided to run with 1980s action movie theme as the basis for their sound.
(not as cutting as Bathory but, really, aside from that). They were part of a generation of young dudes who were breaking against the old traditions of masculinity by taking long hair, mullets and tights to extremes. They were writing Malmsteenesque guitar solos that still rule and they didn’t have producers standing at their backs (neither were they thanking slave drivers in their booklet). They were an independent group that got signed and wrote some great fucking music before finally selling their souls to the devil.
